A Momentary Lapse In Reason
by ADORATIO
Summary: It wasn't like I had planned my life out, but I had the basic idea of what was expected of me. Go to school...try to stay out of rehab. But when you meet someone so addictive, so compelling you suddenly find yourself in a situation you never quite guessed. I guess he was my momentary lapse in reason. Jasper/OC. From the same author as Untamed.
1. Some angels are destined fall

**Some of you (I'm hoping) are reading this story because you've read my previous Emmett/OC that did amazingly well thanks to all my readers, so thank you all so much for sticking by me through it all! Lara is a little different from Blake. (The character who is in my Emmett /OC) Lara is a little quieter, not as outspoken, but she's more insightful- she struggles to see the grey area in life, wondering whether there is one at all. Things affect her more than Blake, but don't think for a second it makes her a push over and vulnerable. She's strong, and she has fire, she's confident in ways Blake isn't and I hope you grow to love her like y'all did Blake. If you're new to my work then please check out Untamed :D Any vampire diaries quotes of course goes to them and the awesome writers  
I have also written another short story for Sam Uley/OC and two Vampire Diaries stories if y'all are interested. A short Kol/Oc and a long Damon/Oc which is still in process.  
I love reviews like I love cake and chocolate so a whole frigin lot! So please, please, please! Review: D  
Also I have an awesome Beta who is helping me write this story called ****Rosalie Ann Jordan****! Please check out her stuff and follow her too! Please follow this story! :D  
So without further ado, let us begin our Jasper/OC: D**

Sorry it's alittle late, internet is being a twat!

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**This life is what you make it. Not matter what, you're going to mess up sometimes, and it's a universal truth. However, the good part is you get to decide how you're going to mess it up. Girls will be your friends - they'll act like it anyway. But just remember, some come, some go. The ones that stay with you through everything - they're your true best friends. Don't let go of them. Also remember, sisters make the best friends in the world. As for lovers, well, they'll come and go too. And babe, I hate to say it, most of them - actually pretty much all of them are going to break your heart, but you can't give up because if you give up, you'll never find your soul mate. You'll never find that half who makes you whole and that goes for everything. Just because you fail once, doesn't mean you're gonna fail at everything. Keep trying, hold on, and always, always, always believe in yourself, because if you don't, then who will, sweetie? So keep your head high, keep your chin up, and most importantly, keep smiling, because life's a beautiful thing and there's so much to smile about**

**There are two basic motivating forces: fear and love. When we are afraid, we pull back from life. When we are in love, we open to all that life has to offer with passion, excitement, and acceptance. We need to learn to love ourselves first, in all our glory and our imperfections. If we cannot love ourselves, we cannot fully open to our ability to love others or our potential to create. Evolution and all hopes for a better world rest in the fearlessness and openhearted vision of people who embrace life.**

**Do not let your fire go out, spark by irreplaceable spark in the hopeless swaps of the not quite, the not-yet, and the not-at-all. Do not let the hero in your soul perish in lonely frustration for the life you deserved and have never been able to reach. The world you desire can be won. It exists… it is real... it is possible… it's yours.**

* * *

_**"Some angels are destined to fall."**_

In the first place, you shouldn't believe in promises. The world is full of them: the promises of riches, of eternal salvation, of infinite love. Some people think they can promise anything, others accept whatever seems to guarantee better days ahead, as, I suspect, is your case. Those who make promises they don't keep, end up powerless and frustrated, and exactly the fate awaits those who believe in promises.

I feel keeping a promise to yourself is a direct reflection of the love you have for yourself. I used to make promises to myself and find them easy to break. Today, I love myself enough to not only make a promise to myself, but to love myself enough to keep that promise.

But all fairy tales have rules, and perhaps it's their rules that actually distinguish one fairy-tale from the other. These rules never need to be understood. They only need to be followed, if not, what they promise won't come true.

I had never really believed in fairy tales.

They felt like lies to me, each one with some form of secret message. A guide showing us how to live our life, but let's be realistic here.

Cinderella was supposed to teach us that no matter if you're poor you can still be loved, no matter what pain you go through, you will finally find the one that loves you most.

Right?

Wrong.

Cinderella taught us to sneak out and defy our parents.

Snow white told us to let strangers into our home.

I guess I never really saw the point to fairy tales, they seemed like fabricated lies to me. Excuses to why the world is such a scary place.

Everyone's loved in their life's, no matter how long or short it was.

Everyone died.

Everyone makes mistakes.

Some more than others.

* * *

The days seemed to pass like minutes and my sister made the decision that we were going to travel across the country to live with Charlie. I loved Charlie, he was my dad but…I loved Phoenix. I loved the heat, I loved my best friend and most of all, I loved the ocean.

I wasn't stupid, I was aware of the closeness of La Push and Forks where the waves hit the shore but it wasn't the same. You couldn't even look at the ocean here without catching hypothermia. It sucked. Royally and utterly but that was life I guess. I didn't make a fuss as my sister said her finally goodbyes to our over eccentric and yet loving mother. I loved my mom, I truly did but I just didn't…get her. She was well to put it simply. She was odd. Like really odd.

Hey! I'm not judging, I wasn't exactly your normal run of the mill girl either if we're being honest. Bella and I were twins, not identical but twins none the less. Bell's hair was mid length; she left it in its natural way. Slightly wavy but more straight than anything. It was startlingly light compared to my raven locks, which reached in ringlets just below my bellybutton. Streaks of red and blue waved through it. Bella never wore makeup; her porcelain like skin didn't need it. I guess mine didn't either; the exception was that my skin was more of an olive tint than her snow white appearance. I didn't wear foundation, just light eye makeup. None of that heavy eyeliner shit you see seriously damaged people wear; I usually wore grey smoky eye makeup. Highlighting my high cheekbones and unusually red tinted lips. One thing Bella and I had in common, our dark chocolate eyes.

"Promise me you'll call every day." My mom ordered before throwing her snotty face into my shoulder, I raised my arms to tap her, in an awkward fashion.

"Sure mom." I agreed, with no real emotion, easily giving away my lack of enthusiasm for the promise. I wouldn't call her every day. She seemed unaware and she hugged us one more time, pushing us in the direction of the terminal.

"Bye mom." Bella waved with a reassuring smile that I saw right through. When you don't talk much, you really begin to see truly how much others miss, down to ignorance or just choice to ignore what is right in front of you out of selfishness or desperation to believe the world isn't as bad as other's paint it to be.

Either way, I saw straight through my sister's selfless lie. Her eyes clouded with emotion, worry and slight desperation but she still marched to the terminal. I smiled a little at her. She truly was masochist.

The flight itself wasn't too bad. I didn't mind flying and neither did Bella. To be honest we never really had the chance to go anywhere but still. We grabbed our bags and heading through the crowded airport trying to locate Charlie. He was there by the entrance, his posture awkward as he took in the large amount of people. I coughed over my laughter at the sight of it; Bells nudged me with a playful scowl before laughing herself.

"Hi Dad." Bella greeted as they hugged awkwardly. Dad raised his arms to hug me and I waved him away with a light laughter.

"I wouldn't want you to hurt yourself." I joked with a wink; he laughed in agreement as he took our bags and began loading them into the back of the cruiser. It really was an ugly piece of shit. Bella and I already agreed to buy a car so we wouldn't have to travel in it.

Bella and my dad babbled casually in the front, I was behind the glass. I hid a frown of amusement at the thought of the last time I had been behind the front seat of a cop car. My best friend Cassie had gotten into a fight and we were caught drinking under age. We didn't get into a lot of trouble, we hadn't done anything before but I had to go to a rehabilitation center for six weeks. Six weeks! I wasn't even an alcoholic for god sakes, but it was either that or a huge fine that no rich man could afford so I took the other option due to the lack of others.

"How are you doing Lara?" My Dad asked clearing his throat as we passed the 'WELCOME TO FORKS' Sign. I leaned closer to the glass.

"Rehab was a hoot and a half." I commented, my dad snorted and Bella threw me a look over her shoulder. I held of a shudder in remembrance to the lecture she had 'blessed' upon my dark soul.

"Don't do the crime if you can't do the time." My dad told me and I chuckled leaning back as we finished the hour-long drive and muttered under my breath.

"Do the crime just don't get caught." I looked up innocently when Bella sent me a warning look over her shoulder. Shit, did she have magic hearing?

We pulled up shortly at our child hood home, I had always liked it. It was cute, the creepy forest next to it however wasn't enjoyable to look out onto but every disadvantage had its advantage. Well, most anyway.

I slammed the door closed of the cruiser and helped Dad grab the rest of the bags as he led us into the house. The house had three bedrooms, Bella and I shared a grateful look to my dad bursting into casual laughter when we both realized the other mirrored the expression.

"Well, I'll leave you girls to unpack." Charlie stated and went downstairs to watch the game. I pulled my suitcase into my room. It looked pretty much the same from when I left it, the dark turquoise wall held some of the sketches I had done from my last summer here a few years back. I loved to draw, always had and I was sure that I always would. The other walls were painted a soft cream. I had my own bathroom, thank the heavens. Something Bella was not happy about, since she had to share the only one with Dad. I unpacked my things into my wardrobe and cupboard; Dad had bought me a new bedspread. I laughed silently at his choice. It was a black set. Bell's was purple. She hated purple. My dad was so damn cute.

* * *

"Girls!" Charlie called from downstairs and I leaned my head out of my door and so did Bella. There wasn't another noise, so, without another word, we jogged down the stairs to see the front door wide open. Outside was a god awful ugly red truck. My dad along with a young guy, maybe a year or two younger than Bella and I, but his eyes held an untouched innocence that made anyone smile.

"You two remember Billy Black and his son Jacob?" Charlie asked and my mind went blank. Should I have…?

"Yes of course, how are you Billy?" Bella asked him and smiled at Jacob who was grinning at her like a six year old with a candy cane.

"I'm good, finally you and Lara are here though. Charlie hasn't shut up since he heard you were both coming." Billy stated with a smug smirk in Charlie's direction, which made me us all laugh at my Dad's slight scowl.

"Awh." I wagged my eyebrows at him, he frowned at the teasing and began his banter with Billy.

"We all used to make mud pies together." Jake reminded us and we all laughed, I pretended that I had any clue, any clue at all who he was.

"I remember." Bella said after laughing. Billy and Charlie walked back over to us, Charlie's grin making me a little worried.

"So what do you think?" Charlie tapped on the back of the truck. I had to resist the urge to gag and tell him it was awful and replaced the urge with a smile. I was a good actress, Bella was too but it was easy to see the pure joy and excitement she had when Charlie announced the truck was ours.

"Oh my god." She yelled slightly which made me laugh. Jake climbed into the car after Bella to show her what needed to be done in order to drive the death machine.

"You have no idea who Jacob is, do you?" Billy asked me and I shook my head, not taking my eyes off the two in the truck.

"Not in the slightest." I told him, we both laughed.

"You've changed a lot Lara." Billy stated, as he analyzed me with a slight frown.

"Haven't we all." I shrugged brushing it off.

* * *

I soon learned that Charlie could not cook, seriously like the guy burned beans for god sakes. When I got up I soon realized Charlie had already headed to work, he was the chief of police. Cute.

I brushed my teeth, I was about to straighten my hair but I had decided to leave it in ringlets, I applied a little blush to define my cheek bones further and some length mascara after my smoky eyes but didn't bother with any more make up.

I walked over to my wardrobe and pulled out some Black leggings and a navy blue tank top. I pulled on some dark brown boots than came an inch below my knee and a leather jacket I jogged down the stairs to see Bella already dressed in some jeans and a shirt with a long coat. I inwardly sighed at Bella's god-awful fashion since but let it go in sake of her giving me coffee.

After I had poured my cup in the sink Bella asked me if I was ready to go, I withheld a groan and followed her out the house to…Oh dear god I hadn't dreamed the monstrosity.  
Bella drove us through the town. It didn't take us long to find the school. I enjoyed Bella's rant at the lack of feeling of institution. I was just thankful when we pulled up in the already full car park. The only decent car in the car park was a Volvo it seemed.

"Nice truck." Some guy commented as we walked past and I rolled my eyes. Sureeeee.

"Er-Thanks." Bella muttered as we headed through to the office.

It was going to be a long day.

* * *

We walked into the cafeteria, Bella shifted uncomfortably by the lustful looks we were receiving. She shoved me when a little laugh burst through my lips.

"How can you be enjoying this." She whispered furiously, Jessica stood up along with Mike and Eric and began to wave us over. My eyes widened at creepy Tyler who was grinning at me.

"I'll give you twenty dollars if we don't sit with them." I begged, she shook her head rolling her eyes and dragged me to sit with them. I was a little taller than Bella at 5 ft. 7, but not by much, Bella and I had always been on the slender side but I liked to run a lot and I used to dance so I had a more lean and toned body than my sister.

I sat next to Angela, who smiled at me lightly, everyone had been really nice to us really since we got here. Some may say too nice…

"You can come sit next to me Lara." Tyler offered and I rolled my eyes looking around the room.

"I would rather poke out my eyes." I told him calmly, everyone on the table laughed but Tyler remained unfazed, the laugh that stood out more than most was a booming one that echoed from the corner of the room. Everyone seemed to turn to the table, Jessica and Angela giggling when their looks were met. I took in the table quickly, Bella seemed to be having some stare off with the guy with the reddish brown hair. There were four more of them. A huge muscly guy with dark curly hair with his arm around a very beautiful blonde.

A small pretty girl with short spiky hair, she was nestled in the arms of a very tall guy with black hair similar to the color of my own, on the other end of the guy with reddish brown hair was another single guy. His hair was a honey brown, slightly shaggy. Not as much muscle as the guy with his arm around the blonde but still lean and tall. They were all gorgeous, beautiful in fact. I looked away as my eyes connected with the guy with shaggy honey hair, he seemed focused as if trying to put together a puzzle when all the pieces seemed to not fit together as they should.

I turned back to raise an eyebrow at my sister and smirk slightly.

"You're staring." I sang a little smugly as she narrowed her eyes at me.

"I was not." She declined in a fairly high-pitched voice and I raised my hands in defense.

"My mistake." I amended but my smirk stayed where it was.

"Who are they?" Bella asked and Jess looked up quickly and then lowered her voice and gestured with her fork attempting to be subtle. I rubbed the side of my head getting a headache from all this stupid behavior.

"The Cullen's." Angela whispered and I gasped with wide eyes. They all looked at me in shock but I chuckled.

"Sorry I thought it was a dramatic moment, carry on." I nodded, Jessica sighed at me, While Angela and Mike hid their laughter, Bella was listening deeply.

"There Dr. Cullen's foster kids. Edward, Emmett and Alice Cullen." She pointed them out. "Rosalie and Jasper Hale." She pointed those two out and I nodded throwing an apple in the air. Acting as if I wasn't at all curious by them. In truth, I couldn't get his expression out of my head, why was he looking at me like that?

"And the guy with Alice is Derek Cullen." She finished.

"Don't waste your time with Jasper and Edward, they don't date. No one here is good enough for them." She almost spat, my eyes widening at her tone. Bella and I shared a look.

"Everyone here is fucking crazy." I muttered to her and she gave me a look telling me to behave.

"I need a word with my sister, excuse us." Bella said and grabbed me and pulled me o where the bins were. Only a few tables down was the Cullen table.

"We're in crazy town, and Jessica is the fucking mayor." I stated and Bella hit me. I rubbed my arm as if it hurt and laughed.

"You hit like your mom." I told her and she scowled.

"You said you would behave here." She told me un-amused and I raised an eyebrow.

"I never agreed to anything." I told her and she hesitated and then let out a huff of breath.

"Just don't cause trouble. " She stated and I rolled my eyes.

"Don't you get tired being so self-righteous?" I asked her innocently and she shook her head.

"Just behave." She stated before walking off. I rolled my eyes at her dramatics and followed her, half way Tyler jogged over to meet me.

"Hi Lara." He greeted.

"Bye Tyler." I dismissed taking a step around him, he blocked my way and I groaned throwing my head back.

"What are you doing Friday?" He asked and I shook my head.

"I'm busy."

"Saturday?"

"Busy."

"Sunday?"

"I'm busy for every day till the end of fuckin' time, if there's any opening I'll let you know." I tapped him on the shoulder walking around him. I heard a booming laughter again only this time a few more chuckles joined in; I didn't look up to see where or who they came from though.

"What did Tyler want?" Bella asked at the end of lunch.

"A serious reality check." I muttered and headed with her to class. God, it was going to be a long day.

* * *

I took Italian. For one I was ok at it and another I sucked at Biology. The teacher didn't make me introduce myself thank god, but looked around the already full class and pointed to an empty seat at the back.

My heart for some reason chose this moment to try to jump out of my body when I recognized the empty seat was next to Jasper Hale. I walked over to him and tried to ignore the way he stiffened completely.

Class began and we sometimes had to repeat as she asked.

I dared a look at his face, his gorgeous jawline was tense as where his fists which were on his lap. Veins ran down his arms giving away his impressive muscle. His hair fell into his dark eyes slightly but he seemed so focused on the board that it didn't bother me. He looked as if he was in pain. He jumped up suddenly almost violently and walked quickly to the front. Muttered something to the teacher and then stormed out of class. Everyone was staring at the door in complete and utter shock.

What the hell was Jasper Hale's problem?

* * *

After class everyone whispered at about his dramatic exit, what was wrong with him? Did I do anything? I couldn't have… I never even spoke to him. I walked out into the parking lot a little freaked out. Bella was already in the truck when I got in. I noticed Bella seemed deep in thought too, she finally noticed me and blinked in shock.

"What happened?" She asked worried and I scoffed and shrugged. What _had _happed?

"I have no idea." I told her, I then went on to tell her what had happened with Jasper and her eyes widened-not just in shock but in understanding.

"Edward was the same, he didn't storm out but he looked as if I had attacked him or something." She shuddered as we pulled up to the house and I shook my head.

"So weird…" I muttered and tried to let go of what happened but the images wouldn't stop their endless flow.

I would have lied if I said it didn't keep me up all night.

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**Hey everyone! So what do you think? Shall I continue? I would love to hear what you think about this story and Lara herself, check out my other stories and leave a review, it takes seconds and makes my day! :D Love y'all :D**

**REVIEW PRETTY PRETTY PLEASE!**


	2. The girl who seemed so strong crumbled

**Thank you all so much for your amazing reviews! I love you all more than cake…well it's a close call anyway ;) Please! Remember to check out my other stories! And leave me a review! :D  
Thanks again!:D**

**Those who reviewed last chapter about the similarites between untamed and a momentary lapse in reason :Thankyou so much for your awesome reviews!and your completly right! The difference between Blake and Lara, is that Blake is a naturally snarky girl with full confidence where as Lara uses her snarkiness as a defence wall. But your right, in the next few chapters you'll begin to see the differences with Lara and Blake. This story is more involved especially in the new moon segment :) so many amazing reviews, I updateda early for y'all as a thank you!**

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**Life isn't about keeping score. It's not about how many people call you and it's not about who you've dated, are dating, or haven't dated at all. It isn't about who you've kissed, what sport you play, or which guy or girl likes you. It's not about your shoes, your hair, the colour of your skin, or where you live or go to school. In fact, it's not about grades, money, clothes, or colleges that accept you or not. Life isn't about if you have lots of friends, or if you are alone, and it's not about how accepted or unaccepted you are. Life just isn't about that. But, life is about who you love and who you hurt. It's about how you feel about yourself. It's about trust, happiness, and compassion.  
Life is about avoiding jealousy, overcoming ignorance, and building confidence. It's about what you say and what you mean. It's about seeing people for who they are and not what they have. Most of all, it is about choosing to use your life to touch someone else's in a way that could never have been achieved otherwise. These choices are what life's about. **

**Everything is determined, the beginning as well as the end, by forces over which we have no control. It is determined for the insect, as well as for the star. Human beings, vegetables, or cosmic dust, we all dance to a mysterious tune, intoned in the distance by an invisible piper.  
Our destiny changes with our thoughts; we shall become what we wish to become, do what we wish to do, when our habitual thoughts corresponds with our desires.  
Destiny is no matter of chance. It is a matter of choice: It is not a thing to be waited for; it is a thing to be achieved.**

* * *

**_"The girl that seemed so strong crumbled."_**

Days passed like wildfire, empty. It was strange; I had never felt like this before. It was like I was constantly waiting. Waiting for what I couldn't tell you as I had no clue.  
Lie.

Ok, maybe I'm not expression the entire truth, but there was no way I would admit it in my own head, never mind say it out loud.  
People at school began to stare less and accept Bella and I easily, it was obvious not a lot happened in the small rainy town of Forks. Another plus, was that it hadn't rained but the best thing seemed to be Bella was more comfortable here. She had dreaded seeing Edward Cullen again the day after the 'incident' but he never showed. Neither did Jasper.

I enjoyed living here more than I thought I would, really. Today I pulled on some light skinny jeans, I found my new top that I bought a few weeks ago and hadn't yet had the chance to wear. It was still cold outside but nowhere near the frosty temperatures as it had been earlier, and yet the clouds still covered the sky. The white top I pulled on was fairly thin, I put a black band on underneath as the top was ripped on a slight diagonal showing my fairly tanned and toned stomach. Well a bit of it anyway. I pulled on my leather jacket and black military boots and headed downstairs to see Bella.  
People greeted us in the parking lot today, after the weekend everyone looked as exhausted as I felt. Just when everything seemed to be going ok, it began to snow.

"Oh Ew!" I cried and Bella nodded in agreement as we jogged inside, Bella being more careful than I due to her seriously clumsy trait. Throughout the morning everyone chattered excitedly about the snow which I personally thought was icky but what the hell.  
Jessica and I were highly amused as Bella walked into the cafeteria almost using her binder as a shield. She was so damn cool. I bought a drink and began to turn away when I saw Bella frozen in place.

"Bella, what do you want?" Jessica asked pulling on her arm; I followed her gaze and found she was looking at the Cullen's. Yes all of them. None of them were looking this way except one. Jasper. He was looking right at me, small snowflakes seemed to be clinging to the ends of his hair making him seem like he was a part of some Armani commercial. I looked away before I got lost in his amber eyes. Amber eyes? Weren't they dark? I shook off the comment and the uncomfortable feeling inside my stomach and turned back to Bella who was looking very uncomfortable.

"Actually, I feel a little sick." She admitted and I sighed, she shouldn't let him get to her. Whatever these guys problem was, she did nothing wrong. We sat at the table and worried a little over Bella.

"Bella what are you staring at?" Jessica asked too loudly for any sensible person to ask. Bella looked down as Edward looked up, she was bright red.

"Well done Jessica, ten points." I awarded her, making Angela giggle.

"Edward Cullen is staring at you." Jessica almost squealed and I leaned back in my chair.

"You haven't had the tiniest bit of sex have you?" I asked her, my goal to make her as uncomfortable as she was making Bella. It worked she stammered, Bella sent me a thanking look to which I winked hiding my laughter.

"Th-that's not the point, Bella he's staring." She tried to turn the conversation around, turned my head to see them all looking, some curious and others just well…looking. I shrugged.

"Stop looking." Bella hissed making me laugh a little.

"You said I had a temper...Deep breath's Bells." I muttered and she leaned back and sent me a scowl.

"They teach you that in rehab." She shot at me playfully glad for a distraction.

"Ah the fun of Rehab. I came out more depressed than when I went in." I commented and she chuckled.

"You went to rehab?" Jessica gasped and I gasped too widening my eyes and then rolled my eyes.

"Uh huh," I agreed and she just stared at me and I looked to Bella with a bored expression.

"Just ask him what his problem is, he doesn't look angry maybe he was having an off day." I shrugged offering my two cents.  
She began to look and then thought better of it.

"You sure he's not glaring." She asked me and I nodded.

"I don't lie." I told her and she raised an eyebrow.

"You lie all the time." She told me heavily amused.

"The occasional white lie." I amended and she continued to stare at me with raised eyebrows and I rolled my eyes sighing.

"Fine, I lie all the time but I'm not lying now." I told her and she nodded believing me, as the clock ticked down to next class, she became more and more nervous. It hit me on the way to class just who I was going to be sitting next to, Jasper Hale.

* * *

How the hell he got to class before me, was a mystery on its own. As I took my seat next to him, he stiffened again, but this time it was done a lot less and more subtly. I tried my hardest not to look at him, keeping my hands on the desk in front of me so I wasn't distracted. Even if I couldn't see him, my body was on hyper alert. Everything about me seemed to scream to touch him. He smelled like honey, not the sickly kind the fresh stuff that fills the room with its aroma. It was mouth-watering.  
"Ma' name is Jasper, s'nice to meet ya ma'am." He introduced before the teacher began, I was slightly startled but his accent and tone of his voice made me melt.

"I'm Lara." I introduced with a small smile, his smile widened too. I don't think there is a distance in this world I wouldn't walk to see that smile again.

"Ya' new here." Jasper spoke after a very long time; I turned my head to see him looking at me with the same calculating look he had been earlier but this look…it had something different to it. An emotion played in his amber eyes that I couldn't understand. My breath caught at his face, his snowy skin looked even more perfect with his golden hair falling into his eyes slightly.

"I am." I agreed looking back to the front, I brushed a curl out of my face trying to focus on the class. But his gaze and his stiff posture made me uncomfortable. He seemed to notice this and broke eye contact with me and tried again.

"Where did ya' move from?" His voice like silk made me melt, I don't think anyone could refuse to answer voice like that.

"Phoenix." I told him, even though my words were short, my tone wasn't. It was a little softer for some reason.

"Tha's' a mighty' big change." He stated a slight twang in his words. He's from Texas? Jesus I was a goner, however his questions seemed to make him more confused. I tried to figure out why.

"You look like you're trying very hard to figure something out," I stated with a small smile. He laughed a little, I noticed then he was leaning a far away from me as far as he could, his body however was slightly turned towards me though, which I guess was a start.

"Ya're a difficult person to read, ya' answers dun't seem to agree with the emotions ya' feel Darlin'." He stated, his eyes widened slightly at his easily flowing words. He looked a little panicked; I felt a need to comfort him so I shrugged.

"I'm good at hiding my emotions." I confessed and he smiled a little, a hint of sadness echoed through it.

"I can tell." He commented, the lesson passed without another word. Jasper's posture stiffened again without our verbal communication. I was beyond confused, especially when he jumped up like his ass was on fire at the end of class.  
What was wrong with Jasper Hale and more importantly why did I feel like I would do anything to make sure that he didn't frown again?  
I shook off the feeling and headed to the car park to meet up with my sister, with a small hope she had a better day than I had.

* * *

What the hell was wrong with that family?  
It turned out that Bella had talked to Edward yesterday and you could tell by the gleam in her eye when she spoke of I'm that he intrigued her which was strange. Bella didn't date, at all.  
I didn't date much in truth, I mean I had gone to a fair few parties and been on a couple dates, but I had never been in a long term relationship. I didn't see the point in them. In a long term relationship you became attached to people. Attachment leads to expectations and expectations leads to disappointment. Disappointment leads to a broken heart.  
It had snowed last night, leaving a white blanket across the land. Well I say land, I mean the front garden. We were running late, I watched from the wall as Bella drank juice from the carton. She looked so excited that she could explode.

"Jeesh Bella, don't piss yourself." I told her and she shot me an irritated look that was half-hearted. She almost dragged me out of the door and into the truck, the weather seemed to hinder her rally driving to school. We didn't have any problems like I expected. When my military boots hit the floor I saw why Charlie had put some of those chain-things on our car. My skinny jeans were ripped up the knee, they were really pretty. I matched it with a plain white vest top and my dark denim jacket.

"Lara!" Angela called and I waved across the lot. The lot was already crowded, everyone in their group of friends, I made a serious effort not to look at the Cullen's.

"I'll be right back Bells." I told her and she nodded not even listening to me, too busy having some stare off with Edward. As I began to walk to Angela I heard a loud threatening skid and a crunch followed shortly, Tyler's van had hit our truck. Bella was next to that truck.

"Oh my god." I breathed and began taking off toward it, before I could rush to my sister, through the smoke and the battered van a steel arm came around my waist. I was pressed again a sheet of cool metal. My body shivered in response, every hair on my arm stuck up on end. I wasn't cold, this reaction was purely from having my body pressed against his.

"Tis' dangerous ova' there Darlin', ya' sister's fine." He murmured into my ear. Jasper. The smell of honey flooded through me. He was touching me, I felt his muscled front pressing down every inch of my back. Holy mother-

"Let go Jasper, she's my sister." I told him, everyone began rush over. I heard the siren for an ambulance. Bella, please be ok. I begged anyone who would listen.  
He released me, I turned around to ask him why he stopped me but stopped short. He was gone.

"What the…" I began, I blinked. It doesn't matter right now, I rushed over through the crowd to find my sister.  
Please be ok Bells.

* * *

I hated hospitals, with a fiery passion. They smelt weird and looked weird, weird all over really.  
Bella was fine thank god, she was being checked out as we speak. The waiting room was crowded with everyone from school. Seriously, Bella was such a magnate for danger. I walked into the room as Bella was being checked out by the most beautiful doctor I had ever seen. That was their adoptive parents?! What an amazing gene pool.  
Bella kept sending me a look, like she needed to tell me something.

"Lara, come with me to ring mom?" She asked and I nodded, understanding she wanted to speak with me alone. We walked down the corridor and she pulled me to the side. I hugged her tightly before she could get in a word.

"Ok, shoot." I told her and she smiled a little and told me what happened in the accident. My jaw dropped even more as the story went on.

"I'm going to go find out what's going on." She said and began to round the corner, I noticed Edward and Jasper were there, along with Dr. Cullen or Carlisle, I yanked her back before we could be noticed.

"And then what? You piss him off and find out what he is, he kills everyone you've ever met including, I don't know…me." I whispered furiously and she shook her head.

"He saved me." She pressed like it made up for the whole super strength and speed shit.

"Maybe the wrong sister went to rehab." I whispered as she rounded the corner and I banged my head against the wall closing my eyes.  
This was not going to end well, for anyone…

"Ya' gunna' hurt ya 'self doin' tha' Darlin'." Jasper's musical voice filled my ears and I froze. I squeezed my eyes shut, willing my body to not react like this when he was near…no such luck. I opened my eyes to see him standing a few inches directly in front of me. He seemed to be analysing everything I was doing.

"Why did you stop me running into the smoke?" I asked him, his eyes tightened but he gave away nothing else.

"I didn't wanna' see a lil' lady get hurt." He told me smoothly and I cocked an eyebrow.

"Ah the sweet half-truth." I muttered under my breath. His lips twitched at my comment I didn't mean for him to hear. I began to walk around him but he blocked my path.

"Move Jasper." I almost pleaded and his eyes softened a little.

"I'm glad ya' ok." He told me in a very southern gentlemanly style which made me smile.

"You really are a southern guy aren't you?" I teased and he chuckled, pretending to lower a cowboy hat.

"At ya' service ma'am." He grinned and I laughed at his show, it faded and I looked around the corner to see my sister stood there looking fuming. I began to head over to her and turned quickly before he disappeared again.

"Tell your brother thank you for saving her life." I told him, it took him by surprise and he seemed to take an unintentional step forward.

"Ya' don't wanna' know how he saved 'er?" He asked me, I noticed Jasper didn't talk a lot like me, but when he was more comfortable in the conversation his accent became more prominent. I shrugged.

"It's not my business." I told him and it wasn't. It couldn't be…even if a part of me wanted it to be.  
He stepped forward again, I began to realise that he was a fair bit taller than me, another head at least. He was breath-taking.

"Wha' if I want it t'be ya' business Darlin'?" He asked me, his eyes widening giving away that he hadn't meant to say it. Before I could make my mind process his words Bella's voice snapped me back to reality.

"Lara!" She called and I turned to see her waving at me.

"I'm sorry I gotta-" I began but when I turned around again, he was gone. I sighed and began walking back to Bella.

"Let's get out of this place. " She muttered and I nodded following her through the doors sparing one last look at where Jasper disappeared.

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**Review please! I'm trying to make these chapters a lot longer, all at least of 2 and a half thousand words so pretty please review and check out my other stories too :D**


	3. They say vengeance tears the heart

**Amazing. The word to describe y'all is AMAZING! Thank you all so much for all the reviews and everything!  
My beta is fucking awesome! Please check her profile! :D**

**Thankyou Vampire diaires for being awesome so I cans teal some quotes. :D**

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**To him, she seemed so beautiful, so seductive, so different from ordinary people. He could not understand why no one was as disturbed as he by the clicking of her heels on the paving stones, why no one else's heart was wild with the breeze stirred by the sighs of her veils, why everyone did not go mad with the movements of her braid, the flight of her hands, the gold of her laughter. He had not missed a single one of her gestures, not one of the indications of her character, but he did not dare approach her for fear of destroying the spell.  
Friendship is the best thing that comes to life. Friends will always be there for you, don't worry about the fakes, worry about the people who had your back from the start and never treated you wrong. Always remember they are your real friends don't ever take them for granted because one day, you could possibly lose that friend based on your actions.  
When you have a good friend that really cares for you and tries to stick in there with you, you treat them like nothing. Learn to be a good friend because one day you're gonna look up and say I lost a good friend. Learn how to be respectful to your friends, don't just start arguments with them and don't tell them the reason, always remember your friends will be there quicker than your family. Learn to remember you got great friends, don't forget that and they will always care for you no matter what. Always remember to smile and look up at what you got in life  
Just because you fail once, it doesn't mean you're going to fail at everything. Keep trying, hold on, and always, always, always believe in yourself because if you don't, then who will? So keep your head high, keep your chin up, and most importantly, keep smiling because life's a beautiful thing and there's so much to smile about.**

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_**"They say vengeance taken will tear the heart and torment the conscience"**_

I dreamt about him. All night. Each dream different, in most, we neither talked but he was there. Touching me in some way. I woke up each morning out of breath and more than a little worried. Why did I keep dreaming of him? The rest of the week Bella was the centre of attention , thankfully, Tyler Crowley seemed to take his guilt to another level and stalk my sister, dragging his attention from me for a short time. Bella was growing more and more frustrated; her glances to the Cullen table became more frequent. Another opposite Bella and I held.

Where Bella wanted nothing more than to talk to Edward, I wanted nothing more than to forget the existence of Jasper Hale. At least that was what I stayed awake at night trying to convince myself. Hormones. I was putting this attraction down to; I mean he was beyond attractive. But the only problem with arguing with yourself is also knowing your lying. It wasn't hormones. Don't get me wrong, I wanted nothing more than to have that guy in my bed but that wasn't the point. I craved his company. His southern behaviour. His cheeky smile. I wanted him more than I had ever wanted anything in my life. That was the problem.  
He was like a drug to me.

I had already been in class twice with him which was unbearable. He didn't try and get me to talk; his outburst in the hospital seemed to put us both in the same place. All the Cullen's and Hale's avoided us like the plague. Bella especially, not like they were exactly social either way. On occasion his hands on the desk tightened in fists, his already pale skin a startling white over his knuckles. Veins travelled down the length of his arm, giving away his muscle. At least the snow had stopped. I tensed a little at the end of the class when Tyler walked over to our desk at the back. Jasper stiffened too but I couldn't understand why.

"Oh fuck…" I muttered, I saw Jasper smile at the comment at the corner of my eye.

"Lara, would you please be my date to the dance?" Tyler ask with a shit eating grin.

"No." I stated and his eyes widened as Jasper's smile grew into a grin.

"Why?" He asked and I shrugged,

"Busy." I stated shortly, he raised an eyebrow unbelieving me.

"Doing what?" He pressed and I groaned throwing my head back.

"Anything. I'm not going with you. Period. Fuck off." I told him annoyed, I mean I wasn't trying to be mean but he had been dropping vulgar comments about me since I got here a month ago. It was ridiculous. He opened his mouth to talk and something happened that left both Tyler and I speechless.

"I think the lady said no." Jasper stated calmly. Tyler blinked in shock; no one had ever heard Jasper openly talk, according to everyone, he stayed away from everyone more than the rest of the Cullen's.  
Tyler walked away slightly jolted in shock, I turned to Jasper with thankful look.

"Err, thanks." I nodded with a smile and he chuckled.

"Some people ar' persistent sweetheart." He told me, his eyes holding an intensity than made my body ignite. His words held a double meaning that I was trying to ignore.

"Some people are a lost cause." I told him turning back to the front, he let out a breath. I noticed it which was strange. I meant everyone breaths….right?

"Some people ar' worth it." I heard him mutter, his words pierced me in ways they shouldn't. Class was long, I had to work not to touch him, never mind look at him. The teacher continued her class, unaware that my heart was going to jump out of its chest, but I had an inkling that Jasper did. His slight grin giving him away.

The bell rang and I jumped up, I grabbed my shoulder bag and turned to grab my books, but before I could grab them Jasper held them out to me in a pile. He smiled showing teeth, they were perfect, his hair was in its normal way, I liked it when he didn't brush it back he looked more…free.  
I took the books and returned the smile.

"Thanks."

"Ma' pleasure ma'am." He said stepping aside for me to go first and I rolled my eyes laughing a little at his politeness, god he was perfect.  
I walked to the parking lot trying my hardest to get him out of my head. I missed how things used to be. Black and white. Simple. Ever since I met Jasper…everything seemed grey.

* * *

Apparently, I was going to Seattle in the weekend, Bella had made up an excuse similar to mine but I didn't actually have a plan. Charlie seemed ok with it, it took him a little to realise that Bella couldn't dance and I just well, didn't like people. The next morning, Bella looked very deep in thought. She parked us up and as soon as I got out of the truck, Edward Cullen was right in front of me. Bella jumped up into the air, I was startled, but I didn't jump. He nodded to me politely. I didn't know what to think of him really, he saved my sister but then acted like a moody dick.

"Come to steal tiny Tim's crutches?" I asked him, He blinked and then smiled a wide crooked grin at me.

"Charles's Dickens was a dark man." He told me casually. I got what Bella found attractive but he looked I don't know, I just didn't find him that attractive. All the Cullen's were beautiful.

"Right." I agreed, winking at my sister who was glaring at him.

"Bye Bells." I told him, when I passed Edward I muttered lowly so only he could hear. "Good luck pal." I heard him chuckle as he talked to Bella.  
I shook my head as I headed to History. They were going to be the death of each other…

The morning went passed too slowly for my liking, Alice Cullen was in my second period. I was actually quite frightened, she was beaming at me all through class. I was seriously creeped out walking to the cafeteria. I was a little worried when I saw my sister at the end of the food line, she seemed deep in thought or in shock.

"Dude." I poked her shoulder and she blinked.

"Edward wants to talk to me." She whispered and I shrugged and put my lollipop in my mouth. I pulled it out with an audible pop.

"So go talk to him." I pointed my lollipop to him, he was smiling at me so I nodded causing him to wave.

"But…" She began and I rolled my eyes.

"You spend your entire life cooped up at home, you're not Anne Frank." I told her pushing her in the direction on Edward. I went to sit with Angela. Jasper winked at me from the table and I chuckled rolling my eyes and began listening or pretending to the conversation at the table.

"I don't like him." Tyler spat.

"You don't know him." I reminded him causally, Bella seemed to like him and she was usually a good character decider person…thing.

"You're taking his side!" Tyler almost shouted.

"I don't side with anyone. You piss me off..." I told him, much to Angela's and Jessica's amusement also the rest of the table, Lauren muttered agreement with Tyler.

At the end of lunch, Bella came over to me and Edward went over to his family. Rosalie didn't seem happy with him while Bella was beaming. I walked over half way and wagged my eyebrows.

"Have I entered an alternate universe where you're fun?" I gasped and she shoved me lightly making me laugh.

"I'm proud of you, you haven't caused any trouble for a while." She told me and I rolled my eyes.

"Yes, I've become you, how tragic for us both." I muttered and she laughed and looked behind me at what I can assume was Lauren scowling.

"She's such a bitch." I told Bella, whose eyes widened and she shook her head and looked around.

"There's a room full of people!" She gasped and I raised an eyebrow.

"Well there goes my plan to rip her spleen through her back." I muttered sarcastically.

"Lara-"

"So what did you and Edward talk about?" I asked, wiggling my eyebrows and she blushed.

"Nothing in particular, he was really nice." She told me and I smirked slyly.

"Well you know what they say, a way to a bipolar guys heart is his stomach." I commented and she scowled and I dodged her slap.

"He's not bipolar." She defended and I raised my hands in surrender.

"I think you may be." I muttered so lowly she couldn't hear.

"You ready? She asked and I nodded letting out a breath.

"Sure." I grabbed my bag and followed her to class.

* * *

Bella texted me when I got outside the school, apparently she had gone home early. As I walked over to the truck I noticed Jasper leaning against it looking like a fucking sex god. Jesus…

He smiled as he looked up from the ground to see me and I walked over to him.  
"Hey." I greeted, it came out as a question slightly. He dug his hands into his pockets for a minute and pulled out a set of keys.

"Edward gave me the keys so ya' could get home, wouldn't' want ya' standin in the rain all night would we?" He teased and I laughed as I took the keys, my fingers brushed with his, an electric current flowing down my arm at the contact. His smile widened when I froze a little, I played it off easily.

"Well thanks." I smiled and he nodded his head.

"Ya' welcome Darlin' ya' 'ave a nice weekend." He said and then began heading over to where his family were pretending not to watch. Alice, on the other hand, was grinning and waving, her boyfriend was looking at her in amusement and fondness. Not many people seemed to talk about Derek, he never left Alice's side from what I knew. I chuckled and waved back. She really was something. I climbed in the car and set of out of the lot. God I hated this fucking truck.**  
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**PLEASE REVIEW! You all know how much I love reviews! They are my jam to my…jam. I don't like peanut butter, Blah anyway review and all that Jazz :D **


	4. Devotion take me now

**Please oh, please leave a review! I would love people to read and review this story along with my others, My Emmett/OC did amazingly well and I want this one to be as successful so pretty please review! Please check out Untamed: D  
Please check out my amazing beta's stories too! :D**

**Wow, all these fucking amazing reviews! I'm going to do a compertition thing when i hit 100 reviews for this story BUT the it is techniqually for all you untamed fans. When i reach 100 reviews all of y'all send in an idea for a one shot for untamed, i'll select 5 from there and set a poll for y'all to vote which one you want! Sound good?! HELL YEAH IT DOES! GET DAMN REVIEWING PEOPLE! Lara is the storys photo and she is on my profile. LEt me know if there is anyone YOU think would be a better Lara! **

**Please, review guys, it takes a minute and means the world to me, it helps me post faster! Especially when you all have idea's! :D**

**By the way the first little bit for the beach, yes it is from Untamed, i couldnt think of anything else and this scene is kinda of an nesseccity :D**

**Y'all wanted Jasper and that's what you get, review for my present? :*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:* Are any of you interested about me putting a track list on next chapter of what i have listened to while writing? **

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_**Maybe our old wounds teach us something. They remind us where we've been and what we've overcome. They teach us lessons about what to avoid in the future. That's what we like to think. But that's not always the way it is. Sometimes there are things we just have to learn over again.**_

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**_"Devotion take me now."_**

The next day, I was sat in the car with Bella and Angela in the parking lot of First Beach, eating strawberry laces when I heard footsteps walking towards us.

"Bella and Lara Swan is that you?" I turned to see three hot fairly tall Native American guys and I raised an eyebrow and Bella nodded.

"I'm Jacob Black." The one in front introduced and I remembered instantly and I stood up and hugged him.

"Jake! You look different, when did you get hot?" I asked him with a smirk and he rolled his eyes.

"Last summer-ish." Jake looked at me and grinned. I heard the two boys whisper behind him.

"She's pretty." They said and they nodded at each other and I laughed.

"It's nice to meet you too." I said stepping toward them as Jake went to talk to Bella.

"I'm Quill and this is Embry." They both smiled at me, they were both hot but a little young.

"It's nice to meet you both." I told them and hugged them both and they grinned at each to each other.

"I haven't seen you guys around before I don't think, I used to come back every summer but stopped a few years back." Both boys' eyes widened.

"Oh my god, I know who you are!" Quill said and Embry eyes me up and I raised my eyebrow in question.  
"You're somewhat of a legend on the res." Embry explained and I laughed.

"Is that so?" I said chucking watching the boys grin at me, even the shy one.

"Yep, you're the one that came up with cliff diving and I hear you dated Paul two summers ago when you were 16, broke the poor guys heart." Quil said with a knowing smirk and I rolled my eyes… I knew what he was referring to.

"Word travels fast, huh?" I asked them with a a half smile knowing that dating Paul caused quite a stir on the res; we got into a huge argument them day I left, I didn't want anything serious and he wanted more. I hooked up with him because of the fact he was known to never want anything more than sex…my luck is officially sucky.

"Oh yeah." Quill said and Jake called us all over. I stayed and talked with the guys and Angela while Jake and Bella went on a walk. Bella seemed eager to get home after that. What the hell had happened with Jake on the beach?

Did I even want to know?

* * *

"You read too much damn sci-fi." I told and she scowled. Bella and I had been having this discussion for what seemed like hours. She truly believe the Cullen's were …vampires. I mean I knew there was something different about them but not…vampires for fuck sakes!

"Bella! This is crazy! And even if it's true…I'm not saying it is why would you want to know, I don't want to be eaten Bella!" I yelled, pacing, as Bella researched Vampires. She learned this information from Jacob at the beach.

The day after, I woke up to see the sunshine! Hell yeah, I threw on some short shorts and plain tank top and a light cardigan. Bella was waiting for me downstairs for when I was finally ready.

The day was kind of empty; I tried to ignore the pang of pain I felt went I looked at the empty table of the Cullen's. I looked at Bella and she was wearing the same expression, she smiled at me knowingly. We had already argued the fact that I had feelings for Jasper, I lied of course, and denied it and I knew Bella wouldn't let it go. I didn't have feeling for Jasper.

I refused to have feelings for A SOUTHERN FUCKING VAMPIRE!

When we got home and made dinner, Bella was discussing with Charlie her plans to go to Port Angeles with Angela and Jessica, I already said I had plans and dropped out. A whole day with giggling girls…no thanks pal.

My phone vibrating on the table woke me up from my seriously needed light nap, I groaned and snatched the phone, clicking the answer and holding it to me ear in no mood for chit chat.  
"What!?" I answered, who the hell would be calling me right now? A deep chuckle answered me, making me freeze as my breath caught in my throat.

"Nice to hear ya' voice too Darlin'." Jaspers southern drawl, clear as day on the phone.

"Jasper?" I asked even though was fully aware of who it was.

"I'm gunna' pick ya' up in ten minutes, I thought ya' should know." He told me causally and I sat up swinging my legs off the bed.

"Oh you are, are you?" I asked him heavily amused, I heard him laugh down the line.

"See ya' soon sweetheart." And then the line went dead. I threw my phone on the bed and took in what just happened.

Did I have date with a vampire?  
Oh Jeesh.  
Is there a handbook for this shit?

* * *

One thing I noted was that Jasper wasn't late, he arrived precisely ten minutes after the call. I was in a bit of a daze really; I knew one thing for sure. His take charge attitude was a turn on.

I heard three light raps on the door and I let out a deep breath and opened the door and there in all his glory was Jasper Hale. All his vampire glory. Why wasn't I afraid?

His hair was left down, he hadn't had it brushed back in a couple days and I made a mental note to tell him to keep it this way. He wore a pair of jeans and a shirt that pressed tightly over his muscular body. He had a black jacket over the top. I was dressed fairly similar, both of us casual. I wore skinny jeans and a vest top along with my denim jacket instead of boots I wore black high-tops.

"Ya' Ready to go?" He asked me smoothly with his charming smile.

"You tell me boss man." I joked leaning against the door jamb and his smile grew and he shrugged.  
He held out his hand after I had locked up the house placing the key on top of the eaves. I took his hand quickly, not allowing myself to talk myself out of it; his skin was cool but not uncomfortable.

His hand was light on mine; he squeezed my hand lightly before releasing it and held the door open, I giggled a little which made him laugh. The door closed as I sat down and before I could blink he was sat next to me. My heart stopped but he just kept smiling.  
"Oh sweet mother…" I murmured leaning my head against the rest, he turned on the heat while laughing and turned on the engine. He drove too fast, way, way too fast.

Street lights and car lights began to look light blurs but I wasn't afraid, I looked to him, he seemed to sense my gazing and turned.

"Are you a vampire?" I blurted, I froze a little shocked by my lack of valve for words. I watched his reaction carefully, his hands tightened on the steering wheel and so did the corners of his eyes as he did when he felt uncomfortable.

"Alice told me ya' 'ad figured it out." He murmured so quietly I almost couldn't hear him. I blinked, how would Alice know. We remained in silence for a minute, neither wanting to upset the other.

"Are ya' afraid?" He asked pulling the car to a stop, I realised we had pulled up at a small restaurant. He didn't wait for an answer and zoomed around the car at a frightening speed and opened the door for me. I turned my body ready to get out but he lowered himself down to my level. His lips so close to mine it was excruciating not to kiss them. His hair fell into his eyes and my hand moved on its own, pushing it out of his eyes. He didn't flinch from the contact, in fact he moved closer.

"I'm not afraid." I whispered, not being able to speak any louder. His eyes softened and he smiled slightly and stood up, I released a breath I didn't know I was holding. He took my hand and closed the door, leading me up to the restaurant.

"So how old are you?" I asked after the waitress, who had spent the last twenty minutes drooling over Jasper which pissed me off to know end, finally left.

"I'm twenty." He told me and I rolled my eyes.

"Please tell me you're not a billon." I begged and he laughed, shaking his head.

"I was born in 1844." He confessed and my eyes widened. "I was the youngest major in the Texas cavalry." He stated smugly straightening up, making me smile, he looked a lot taller when he sat up straight which was well…always. He was like 6'3 or something.

"That's a mighty fine' position Major." I said with a fake Texas twang, making him grin.

"Why, thank ya' ma'am.

"Jasper spent the rest of the night telling me his story and about the Cullen's, turns out his real last name was Whitlock. It teared at my heart when I had heard how he was made to live, he seemed ashamed of himself when he admitted his tolerance to human blood wasn't as high as everyone else's. I reassured him that he had nothing to be ashamed of and I didn't think he did. He asked questions about me too, like what I liked to do and what I was like as a child. We got along well, not once did an awkward silence pass.

"Are ya' ready to go sweetheart?" He asked and I nodded, he left a few bills on the table and wrapped his arm around my waist. He seemed to be touching me more and more which made me curious, on the drive back I decided to ask him. It made him smile a little.

"The more time I spend with ya' the easy it is to be 'round ya'." He told me taking his eyes off the road and I nodded crossing my long legs and brushing a curl out of my face. He was watching me the whole time and I wagged my eyebrows at him making him roll his eyes and chuckled lowly turning back to the road.

"Is that why you ran out of class like your ass was on fire?" I asked him, he looked down looking very disappointed in himself.

"Ye', I'm very sorry for ma' behaviour that day Darlin'." He told me, his voice heavy with shame. I felt guilty for bringing it up. "Don't feel guilty." He told me and I blinked.

"How did ya' know…?" I began, oh Jeesh I thought only Edward could read my mind. This is bad…very, very bad.

"I can't read ya' mind so calm down pretty girl, I can feel ya' emotions, control them. I'm an empath." He told me and I let out a sigh of relief. I saw a fleck of mischief pass through his eyes.

"Would it be a bad thing if I could read you mind?" He smirked, taking his eyes off the road. YES!

Everything in my screamed and I shrugged, I couldn't find anything to throw, to wipe that smug smile off his face so I settled for a distraction.

"So you can control emotions?" I stated but it came out as a question. He nodded and in that second I felt a huge wave of lust hit me. My lips parted and I almost moaned as I turned my head to see Jasper looking very proud of himself, his eyes darker than earlier. I realised he pushed onto me what he had been feeling.

"Eyes on the road major." I told him making him laugh; I joined in after a second trying to shake of the feeling clearing my throat.

Southern charm my ass.

We shared playful banter the rest of the way home, Bella was home I think, well her bedroom light was on. I could see the TV flickering in the room, my dad probably passed out already.

He walked me to the door, god he really was a gentleman.

"Well, I believe this is where we part Darlin'." He told me as we reached the door; he closed the space between us brushing a curl from my face. He pressed a soft kiss to my cheek before leaning close to my ear.

"Sweet dreams." He breathed and without another word took of down the path. I opened the door and turned quick enough to see him driving down the street.

"Lara? That you?" My dad hollered. Who else would it be? Jesus...

"Yea, it's me." I yelled back, I walked into the room and my dad turned his head from the chair.

"Where were you?" He asked casually, more conversational than a fatherly WHERE WERE YOU AT THIS HOUR question. I shrugged.

"I went to get something to eat, night dad." I told him honestly. I didn't lie, much.

"Night Lara." He murmured focused on his game. I walked upstairs and into my room, where Bella was waiting.

"You were with Jasper!" She grinned smugly. And I groaned and flopped onto the bed. Here we go again…

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**Oh my lovely, lovely reader! How I adore you all!  
Thought I would have a very posh English moment^ Review and all that Jazz! :D No pun intended By the way…;)**

**Review if you want to make me happy. YOU WANT ME TO BE HAPPY RIGHT?!**


	5. Too damn scared to fly

**For you guys who have read my Emmett/OC and wonder about Rose's relationship with Lara, I am going to do a similar one to Untamed :D Just loved Blake's and Rose's relationship :D Anyway, I have tried to make the chapters longer for the story, what do you think Remember to check out my other stories! :D**

**I'be been poorly guys so sorry for the long wait, thank you for all your reviews and constructive critism, I'm trying hard to separate untamed fromMLIR' sorry for the long wait! REVIEW**

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**Only once in your life, I truly believe, you find someone who can completely turn your world around. You tell them things that you've never shared with another soul and they absorb everything you say and actually want to hear more. **

**You share hopes for the future, dreams that will never come true, goals that were never achieved and the many disappointments life has thrown at you. When something wonderful happens, you can't wait to tell them about it, knowing they will share in your excitement. **

**They are not embarrassed to cry with you when you are hurting or laugh with you when you make a fool of yourself. Never do they hurt your feelings or make you feel like you are not good enough, but rather they build you up and show you the things about yourself that make you special and even beautiful. **

**There is never any pressure, jealousy or competition but only a quiet calmness when they are around. You can be yourself and not worry about what they will think of you because they love you for who you are. The things that seem insignificant to most people such as a note, song or walk become invaluable treasures kept safe in your heart to cherish forever. Memories of your childhood come back and are so clear and vivid it's like being young again. **

**Colours seem brighter and more brilliant. Laughter seems part of daily life where before it was infrequent or didn't exist at all. A phone call or two during the day helps to get you through a long day's work and always brings a smile to your face. In their presence, there's no need for continuous conversation, but you find you're quite content in just having them nearby. **

**Things that never interested you before become fascinating because you know they are important to this person who is so special to you. You think of this person on every occasion and in everything you do. Simple things bring them to mind like a pale blue sky, gentle wind or even a storm cloud on the horizon. You open your heart knowing that there's a chance it may be broken one day and in opening your heart, you experience a love and joy that you never dreamed possible **

**You find that being vulnerable is the only way to allow your heart to feel true pleasure that's so real it scares you. You find strength in knowing you have a true friend and possibly a soul mate that will remain loyal to the end. Life seems completely different, exciting and worthwhile. Your only hope and security is in knowing that they are a part of your life.**

* * *

_**"Cause your too damn scared to fly"**_

I woke the next morning with a slight smile, I felt excited to see Jazz again. Yes, that terrified me beyond any rational thought but that was life anyway. I got changed and ready fairly quickly, I had some extra time, so I straightened my hair. I ran my hand through it, sending it backwards so it wasn't in my face, pulled on my white high tops with my leggings, and blue vest top, my black leather jacket over the top. I walked down the stairs to see Bella grinning at me.

"Hey creepy." I said a little wary, why was she looking at me like that.

"Jasper's waiting outside in the car for you." She exploded and I blinked at grabbed my bag in disbelief. I opened the door and damn…he was fine. He was leaning against the passenger seat with a warm smile. He gestured me to come stand in front of him.

"Later Bells," I called, closing the door on her shit eating grin and went over to Jasper.

"Hi there." I greeted. He wrapped an arm around my waist, pulling me closer to him. He buried his face in my hair, which was pulled over to the side. He stiffened slightly and then relaxed.

When he pulled back he was looking proud.

"Easier every time." He murmured and smiled. He dropped his arm and manoeuvred us so he could open the door.

"Why thank you Major. Whitlock." I thanked politely making him grin.

He flashed to the driver seat, and began the car. I saw Edward pull up behind us, Jasper winked at me before setting off. He took my hand lightly on the console, gently brushing his thumb across mine. The most dangerous of the Cullen's and yet he made me feel safe. I wasn't afraid. I was never really the "what are we" girl so I didn't ask. If he wanted to bring it up then he would. We pulled up next to Rosalie's red convertible. I got out of the car on my own, obviously in a crowded lot he couldn't use his vamp speed.

"Everyone is staring." I whispered as he wrapped his arm around my waist, he pressed a light kiss to my temple in reassurance.

"They're curious an' jealous with a hint of disbelief." He informed me using his juju. Well power or whatever.

"This is why I hate people, so fickle and passive aggressive." I told him causing him to laugh making the kids at the doorway we were going through freeze in shock.

Oh it was going to be another long, long day.

* * *

The day was as long as I thought it was, Tyler was sending Jasper glares all day much to his amusement. Jessica tried to pry out of me information at lunch but I remained strong. Bella and Edward sat alone again. I asked Jasper what his family thought of all this and he told me and I quote "They don't understand Edward's obsession with Bella. Ma' family 'ad time to process the thought of ya' Darlin' Alice saw ya' comin' when she saw me. She didn't know when ya' would turn up so I have been waitin' a fair while." He confessed, it freaked me out a little. He had been waiting fifty years for me... wow, talk about commitment.

We talked about it on the drive home, Jasper wanted to meet my dad and I was putting it off as much as possible. I mean I saw no point to it really.

He pulled up and sighed, angling towards me.

"I was raised t'respect the father figure of the girl I'm courtin'." He told me and I raised an eyebrow at the term courting.

"You're in the wrong century Jazz." I told him and he sent me an unamused look and I groaned.

"The chief 'as a right to know who ya' dating Lara'." He told me sternly. Sometimes dating someone old fashion was a pain in the ass.

"Is that what we're doing?" I asked him, he blinked, grinned, and then nodded.

"Tha's exactly what we're doin' Darlin'." He whispered , I then realised, just how close Jasper was to me. He hesitated slightly before gently pressing his lips onto mine, He kissed me gently for another moment and then wrapped his arms around my waist pulling me against him fully, I took this opportunity to tangle my fingers in his hair. I gasped when I felt my body being pulled lightly over the console so I slid slowly onto Jasper's lap. Not once did my lips disconnect from his. Jazz took the opportunity to flick his tongue into my mouth to tangle with mine, I was fighting a battle for dominance and I was sure enough failing. In that second Jazz ripped his lips away from mine slamming his head into the back of his chair pushing against the wheel lightly, creating some distance in the small space. His eyes were dark, his hands remained on my side but where now in fists.

"Ya' should go inside." He told me through a tense jaw and I nodded still out of breath. Somehow I managed to climb out of the car and walk up the path. I turned to wave at Jasper but saw the back of the car driving up the road. I sighed pushing the front door open.  
Great.

I walked into the house slamming the door slightly pissed off.

"Lara!" Bella called from the kitchen.

"I swear to god-" I was prepared to go into a rant when I saw Charlie, Jake and Billy. Bella looking very uncomfortable, I didn't understand why until I was hit by Billy's disapproving glare.

"Oh hey." I said casually leaning against the wall.

"What were you saying when you came in?" Billy asked and I blinked.

"Oh ermm nothing…" I shared a look with Bella.

"I forgot to ask you Lara, are you going to the dance this weekend?" Charlie asked me and Bella jumped up and began to cook, I hesitated and shook my head.

"Nope, not my scene." I told him and he nodded.

"Awh no-one ask you." Jake teased and I shoved him making everyone laugh.

"No, I have other plans. I have a date that night." I confessed and Dad cocked an eyebrow, I swear to god I saw him twitch to his gun.

"Who?" My dad asked a little shocked and I shrugged.

"Jasper Hale." I told him and he hesitated, I didn't miss Billy stiffen.

"Dr. Cullen's son?" He asked and I nodded, he relaxed and I let out a breath.

"Nice family." He muttered and I shared a grin with Bella, Billy was not happy, at all.

"He really wants to meet you, He's from the south so he has the whole respect thing blah,blah…" I told him as I chopped helping Bella. Charlie nodded.

"That would be nice, It's good that you're finally er…settling." He worded making my laugh.

"Poor Paul." Jake muttered dramatically and I threw a piece of carrot at him.

"Shut up minor." I told him and he scoffed. They left later, Billy giving Bella and I disapproving looks the entire time. I was relieved that my Dad was open about meeting Jazz. I wasn't sure how I felt about it yet though.

* * *

I was still a little frustrated about earlier if I was being honest but I guess it is what it is.

I walked into my room closing the door behind me after I had eaten dinner. I grabbed my cotton shorts and a tank top I slept in and went into the bathroom to change. I threw my things in the hamper and began walking to my bed when a figure caught my eye near the window.

I jumped half a foot in the air and nearly screamed. I cool hand over my mouth stopping me. After a moment I became aware it was only Jazz and relaxed. His hand slipped from my face, and I looked up to meet his troubled eyes. He wrapped an arm gently around my waist pressing a kiss to my forehead.

My eyes fluttered closed naturally.

"I'm sorry, Sweetheart." He murmured and I half smiled and looked up, he had been hunting. His eyes were startling amber, the shadows under his eyes were also a lot better too.

"Me too." I whispered wrapped my arms around his neck pulling myself closer making him smile a little.

He grinned a little making me worried.

I took a step back at the mischief hidden in his golden orbs. Before I knew it I was in the air in his arms, I laughed a little as he placed me on the bed, I got under to covers and laid my head on the pillow and shut my eyes for half a second, when I opened Jasper was directly in front of my face, lying down with his head to the other pillow. His arm placed lightly on my hip.

He looked deep in thought, on second thought; he seemed to be trying to word something. Something he found difficult to say.

"I don't know if I can ever be intimate with ya', even if I could fight ma' bloodlust ya're so damn' breakable." He whispered trailing a finger down my cheek lightly as if to prove what he was saying. I understood it I did.

I didn't like it.

But I got it.

"It's fine. "I told him and it was, it didn't bother me. Yes, I was disappointed but I wouldn't give him up. That bothered me. The fact that when he wasn't here I wished he was or that I couldn't picture a world where he didn't exist.

I leaned forward to press my lips to his lightly, lying back before I could deepen it. My eyes fluttered closed as I fought against them.

"Goodnight pretty girl." He whispered as I let darkness take me.

* * *

**REVIEW FOR MORE JASPER AND LARA! :D  
Can't wait to start writing the new moon segment! I have lots of idea's :D And for you those that are worried Lara isn't going to sit there and moap for months like Bella, Anyone for a slice of Paul?;) Just want to clear something up, Blake and Paul never had anything If you get me, it was a little fling but they were mostly just friends who well lost there virginitys together, never any further, Paul and Lara...well we'll just have to see when we get to new moon won't we ;) **

**a picture of Lara is the photo by the way but is there anyone YOU see as her? Let me know in your review!**

**reveiw please, it takes a second and it means a lot xoxoxox**


	6. Darlin' don't be afraid

**Hey everyone, 100 FUCKING REVIEWS! YOU GUYS ARE AMAZING!  
First off guys, I want to apologise if there are any spelling mistakes my beta ermm...well I have no idea where she has gone. Pooof. So I'm doing this on my own so sorry! **

**Something else too! I am planning on redoing "Light of my darkness" a Sam/oc. If I'm being honest...it blowed. And not the good kind of blowing, I'm talking really damn bad. SO I want to do a Sam/Oc but I don't really know where to start? Sooooo do any of you guys have any idea's I will give you the credit for it of course, maybe even work with someone on the story? Anyway if you are interested let me know; send me it through a review or a PM! :D**

**Thanks again! :D**

* * *

_Somewhere between the procrastination... and the homework... and the incessant forwards... and the friendships... and the calls to each other complaining about crushes... Somewhere between the phone calls to old friends... And the "I miss yours, the "I love yours, and the "What are we doing tonight?"... somewhere between all of the changing and growing... Somewhere between the classes... the skipping classes... the studying for tests... the pretending to study for tests... the downright NOT studying for tests... I forgot... I forgot what highschool is all about. I forgot what it meant to cry... I forgot that pretending to be happy doesn't make you happy... that pretending to be smart doesn't make you smart... I forgot that you can't just forget the past in fear of the future... I forgot that you can't control falling in love... And that you can't make yourself fall in love... I learned that I can love... I learned that it's okay to mess up... And it's okay to ask for help... it's okay to feel like crap... I learned it's okay to complain and whine to all your friends for a whole day... I learned that sometimes the things you want most you just can't have. I learned that the greatest thing about high school isn't the parties or the drinking or the hook-ups... It's the friendships, which means taking chances... I learned that sometimes the things we want to forget are the things which we most need to talk about... I learned that letters from friends are the most important things... And that sending cards to your friends makes you feel better. But, basically, I just learned that my friends... Both old and new... Are the most important people to me in the world? AND... Without them, I wouldn't be who I am today. So this is a thank you to all of my friends... For always being there. And even if we're not on good terms or we have lost touch... I still care for you... Always and forever love all you guys.__**  
**_

* * *

_**"Darlin' don't be afraid."**_

When I awoke, I was fully aware of two things. One, that the sun was leaking its rays through the tiny crack in the silent house and two, I laid in Jasper's arms. He had stayed with me all night; I knew he didn't sleep, so it made me smile subtly. I didn't want to wake up, I snuggled further into his strong, cool arms.

"I know you're awake, I can hear yer' heart flutteren' Lara." Jazz purred into my ear and my smile spread into a grin, however, still hidden by the pillow.

"I'm asleep." I mumbled back receiving a deep chuckle. Before I could take my next breath, two large arms wrapped tightly around my waist, spinning me so I landed on top of his chest.

"That was mean." I fake pouted; I was dazzled for a fraction of a second by Jasper's looks. I took a second to memorise his features, his defined jaw line, full lips, and his rich amber eyes. The way his hair looked in the morning and most importantly how his face was lighted up with a smile I could only explain as contentment.

His large hands pushed my hair back as I laid on his chest, my head resting under his jaw, as I traced patterns on his chest. Smiling when I felt him shiver, I didn't even know vampires could shiver.

We were quiet for a while, allowing our secret heaven to pull a shield over us. Not allowing nothing to break a moment like this. I sighed a little, content if I laid here forever, whether this was the reaction that caused Jazz to roll over trapping me under his body.  
Before I could question his actions, his lips were pressed to mine softly. The affection behind it making my heart flutter like a hummingbird's wing. He trailed little kisses down my jaw to my ear.

"Listen t'ya heart fly Darlin'…" He whispered and I giggled slightly. It was nice to see him like this, not as serious. He seemed almost free. It was nice. His hair fell down as he hovered over me, he rolled again laying on his back, I laid my head on his chest as he stroked my hair gently.

"Time t'get up sweetheart." Jasper announced swiftly rolling off my bed and I groaned. Trying to bury myself in the quilts.

"No!" I whimpered when he tugged them off me.

"Common'." He twanged and I pouted and walked over to my wardrobe muttering under my breath.

"Stupid, sparkly vampire." I heard Jasper chuckle from the bed and I sent him a glare over my shoulder.

I went into the bathroom to change, and get ready fully. When I came out Jazz was wearing a new set of clothes. Some dark jeans and a navy button up shirt, he always dressed well no, matter what.

He held his hand out and I took it as we walked downstairs, I made myself some coffee and sat in front of him at the table.

"How can ya' drink tha' disgusting stuff?" He asked wrinkling his nose.

"Well it's no deer but us mere mortals digress." I sighed looking off into the corner of the room dramatically.

"Ha-Ha Darlin'." He threw a napkin at me making me giggle. I froze slightly when I heard the sound of car wheel outside. My dad was home and it clicked. I looked to a very innocent looking Jasper.

"You bastard. You set me up." I accused whispering furiously, he blinked innocently with his gorgeous amber eyes…that devilish son of-

"Lara, Bella?" Dad called when he shut the door and I sent one more dark look to a very smug Jasper.

"In here dad." I hollered. My dad walked in and blinked in surprise to see Jasper, I watched as Jazz stood up gracefully and respectfully offering a smile and his hand to my dad.

"Tis' a pleasure ta' finally meet ya Chief Swan. Ma' name Is Jasper Hale." He introduced with an easy smile. My dad blinked in shock, obviously not expecting me to choose someone as polite as Jasper and as very southern. He shook Jaspers hand with a smile. I let out a breath of relief. He liked him.

"It's nice to meet you too son, please call me Charlie." He told him and Jasper nodded with a wider smile.

"Do you know what time Bella will be back Lara?" Dad asked me and I shrugged.

"I don't even know where she is." I admitted, placing my cup in the sink and walking over to Jazz who placed his hand on my waist lightly.

"Ok, well you two kids enjoy your day." Charlie nodded into the room. When Charlie disappeared, I turned to see Jazz looking very smug with himself.

"You, Jasper Whitlock, are in deep shit." I told him, I enjoing seeing the big scary dangerous vampire gulp.

"I wanted' ya father ta like me, and it worked. Don't be mad with me pretty girl'." He emphasised his accent, I was fully aware now that he knew how much I liked it. I deliberated for a few moments before letting out a breath.

"Fine." I granted and Jazz grinned pressing his lips to mine lightly.

"I know where your sister is, Shall we go meet with her?" Jasper asked, a little too smoothly. I cocked a brow.

"Where are they?" I demanded and he sighed, guilty.

"At ma' house." He admitted. My eyes widened.

"No way." I declined shaking my head.

"Please Lara, T'would mean a lot to me…" He pleaded and I could tell it did, he lowered his head to press his forehead to mine and I groaned.

"Fine." I said not happy at all as he dragged me out the door.

"Bye Dad!" I hollered.

"Bye Kids!" He yelled back.

* * *

"You're mad." Jasper informed me reading my emotions.

"Correction, I'm pissed off. You probably don't have that on you Juju meter." I commented not looking at him, I was also curious. Did he live in the middle of the woods, I swear, if he lived in a cave…

"I'm sorry for tryin' to trick ya." He told me, his velvet voice soft. I cursed his voice to the fiery pits of hades. I think it could convince me to cut off my own right hand.

"If there is one coffin Whitlock, I am outta there." I told him and he nodded seriously trying not to laugh.

"I understand." He nodded looking to the road turning his head to try and hide a smile. We pulled up outside of his house and my breath caught at the beauty of the house. His arms came around my waist and he buried his head in my neck, his nose brushing against the bare skin.

"What d'ya think?" He asked me and I smiled.

"It's beautiful." I smiled at it.

"Ye', ye' it is." He agreed, I turned expecting him to be looking at the house but he was looking to me. Pure and utter adoration burning in his eyes. He kissed my temple and took my hand, leading me inside the house.  
The white walls were full with art. He led me up the stairs and winked at me as we walked into the room. Bella and Edward were standing in the entrance too. Bella looking uncomfortable as hell.

"Hi Lara!" Alice cheered and came over to kiss my cheek and hug me, I hugged her back, laughing a little.

"Hey there Alice." I nodded, Bella looked to me a little wide eyed and I shrugged.

"I can be nice." I defended and she raised an eyebrow. "If I try really hard…" I amended, making Jazz chuckle into my ear from behind me.

"It's nice to finally meet you Lara." Esme said, warmly hugging me after she introduced everyone. Emmett grinned at us the entire time. Rosalie looked at Bella with complete distaste. She looked at me curiously, clearly not knowing whether she hated me or not.  
Jazz pulled me off to one side near his family, while Alice talked to Bella a little.

"I'll show you around the rest of the house." Edward muttered to Bella, Bella looked to me before she left.

"Call me if you leave." I nodded in agreement.

"You're not gunna' call her are ya'?" Jasper asked and I shook my head.

"Nah." I shrugged making Derek, Emmett, and Jazz laugh.

"You can call me Rose." Rosalie said all of a sudden before leaving, everyone blinked as she left and then beamed at me.

"Congrats." Em sang before following after his mate and wife. I looked at Jasper over my shoulder who smiled down at me.

"I'll show ya' around pretty girl." He told me and I nodded.

"It was nice to meet you all." I told them and they all nodded with bright smiles.

"See you soon!" Alice cheered, I laughed, waving, as we rounded the corner.

"See t'wasn't so hard." Jasper asked as we climbed the stairs.

"Don't push your luck, Major." I muttered making him laugh and kiss me at the top of the stairs.

It wasn't.

It wasn't so hard at all.**  
**

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**Review please:D Thankyou so much to each and everyone of you! :D**

**Lots of love to all of you! I've noticed thousands of people are reading and yet a few are reviewing... Please! If you can find time to read please find a second to review! :D**

_**(I know this is at the top but I know some people don't read that ;))**_

_**Something else too! I am planning on redoing "Light of my darkness" a Sam/oc. If I'm being honest...it blowed. And not the good kind of blowing, I'm talking really damn bad. SO I want to do a Sam/Oc but I don't really know where to start? Sooooo do any of you guys have any idea's I will give you the credit for it of course, maybe even work with someone on the story? Anyway if you are interested let me know; send me it through a review or a PM! :D**_

_**Please follow and spread the word! :D**_


	7. Blow what's left of my right mind

**I've been thinking about this baby situation, I know it's a far, far way off but still. I will deff still have Bella pregnant but I'll put a poll up closer to the time to decide if there will be a mini Jasper or Lara: D Picture of Lara is up on my profile if you're curious, if there lots of questions you wanna ask please feel free and write it out on a review or PM me :D XOXOXOXOX**

**I was hoping to get to 120 reviews last chapter :( But i wasnt going to make all you amazing reviews wait so here is the chapter! LOTS OF LOVE!  
In Untamed New moon was a few chapters, but MLIR New moo segment will be a lot longer, there will be Lara/PAul, do not stress, Jasper is still the yummy juice of this story! **

**Please leave a review! XOXOX**

**I know this will happen no matter what, don't hate for a few of the same lines from untamed i this chapter, it wont be happening again. AT ALL! THE STORY TAKES A WHOLE NEW ROUTE!**

**Phew, review review!**

* * *

**There is lust and then there is love. They are related, but still very different things. To indulge in one requires little but honeyed speech and a change of clothes; to obtain the other, by contrast, a man must give up his rib. In return, his woman will undo the sin of Eve, and bring him back into Paradise.**

**Laugh, even when you feel too sick or too worn out or tired.**

**Smile, even when you're trying not to cry and the tears are blurring your vision.**

**Sing, even when people stare at you and tell you your voice is crappy.**

**Trust, even when your heart begs you not to.**

**Twirl, even when your mind makes no sense of what you see.**

**Frolic, even when you are made fun of. Kiss, even when others are watching. **

**Sleep, even when you're afraid of what the dreams might bring.**

**Run, even when it feels like you can't run any more. And, always, remember, even when the memories pinch your heart. Because the pain of all your experience is what makes you the person you are now. **

**And without your Experience-you are an empty page, a blank notebook, a missing lyric. What makes you brave is your willingness to live through your terrible life and hold your head up high the next day. So don't live life in fear. Because you are stronger now, after all the shit has happened, than you ever were back before it started.**

* * *

**"Blow what's left of my right mind."**

"Jasper stop!" I cried from the floor, I hated being tickled and that basted knew that. His hands travelled down the sides of my body, leaving a path of electric in its way.

"What am I?" He asked in reference to our previous conversation when I made the mistake of saying he wasn't scary.

"A very, very terrifying monster." I managed to gasp between my burst of laughter.

He hovered over me finally stopping the torture and grinning down at me cheekily.

He pressed his lips to me lightly, resting his forearms on the cream carpet of his room. Jasper's room was mid-size I would say, the deep chocolate walls made it feel homey. He had a bed. Something I was trying very hard not to think about actually, it was huge and black leather. I ran my thumb over Jazz's smooth cool cheek shivering slightly when he pressed kissing down my jaw. Jazz suddenly looked up with an irritated expression. He jumped up pulling me with him.

"I can here ya' creepin' 'round Emmett." Jazz called and I laughed a little when the grinning bear came into the room.

"Alice says there is going to be thunder!" He cheered and Jasper's face lit up like a kid on Christmas day. He must have felt my confusion and turned back to me after Emmett had gone to find Rosalie or Rose as she asked me to call her.

"We getta' to play baseball." He grinned and I smiled at his happiness and wrapped my arms around his neck and looked up to him looking down at me, his eyes filled with an emotion I couldn't quite figure out but whatever it was it was strong. He pushed my hair from my face and left his hands on my neck/jawbone. It was strange how my body reacted to him; I leaned up to press a light kiss to kiss jaw. I heard him sigh a little and wrap his other arm around my waist.

"I'm glad I found ya' Darlin'." He murmured lightly and I nodded.

"So am I." I pressed my lips to his once more before Alice and Derek ruined the moment.

"Sorry!" She giggled and Derek smiled at her fondly before dragging her out of the room leaving me laughing as Jasper groaned burying his head in my neck making my giggle. He smiled widely at the noise and then took my head pulling me out of the room.

"Let's go ask Bella and Edward if they want to play." Jazz declared pulling me up the stairs, we got to Edward's door and I knocked as Jazz wrapped his arms around me from behind.

"Come in." Edward called in a cheery tone; Jazz looked at me strangely before opening the door. I winked at Bella when I saw her sat on Edward's knee on the couch. Edward didn't have a bed I noticed, but what he did have was a bright red Bella perched on his lap.

"The storms gunna' hittin' ahead an' Alice says we can play- ya' game?" Jazz asked from behind me his head resting on my shoulder. I noticed we were a fair way from them and I realised Jazz was keeping his distance from Bella like Edward had asked. It pissed me off a little that Edward said that to him, he's done really well and I _doing_ really well. Bella was watching us very carefully as Edward grinned as excited as Jazz.

"Bella can come as well of course." Jazz added and I smiled at the shock in her face, Jazz hadn't really spoken much in front of Bella. In fact he didn't speak a lot in front of anyone but me, he wasn't shy but he didn't really like the spotlight. Edward smiled and looked down at my sister.

"Would you like to come?" Edward asked Bella and she hesitated at the mention of any physical activity. "Lara is going." Edward added and I looked over at my shoulder at Jazz who shrugged.

"I am?" I asked him and he rolled him eyes and began leading me out of the room.

"Of course ya' a're." He said as if it was obvious with a hint of teasing, I winked at Bella once more before allowing him to lead me out of the room, Jazz closing the door behind them.

* * *

Jasper and Edward dropped Bella and I off, Jasper got out of the car with me and stiffened, his head tilting to the door. He looked through the window and Edward nodded at him I realised who it was, Jake and Billy were waiting at the porch, Billy looking impassive as stone, Jake looked mortified with his father's behaviour.

"He came to warn Charlie." I stated and Jazz nodded stiffly, luckily Charlie wasn't in yet thank god. Jasper looked furious, I was a little worried and I wrapped my arm around his neck and kissed him lightly, he kissed me back and then sighed.

"Let me deal with it." I told him as Bella got out of the car after saying her goodbye's to Edward probably having a very similar conversation. Edward's temper however wasn't as kind as Jasper's. Bella stayed a distance behind me away from Jasper, I don't think she was afraid but she was…wary would be the best way to phrase it.

"If ya' think tha's best Darlin'." He finally agreed kissing my forehead once more, sending a dark look at the chief of La Push. Edward was waiting stiffly by Bella's side, waiting for Jazz to run home or whatever with him either that or he just didn't trust Jazz with Bella. Turns out that Edward can't read my mind. Apparently it's fuzzy, like a bad signal.

"I'll see you soon." I promised and he nodded, looking over my shoulder at him brother kissing me once again and then began walking away with Edward down the road. It began to rain so Bella and I jogged over to the door where Jake and Billy were, Billy's face no longer impassive, in fact he was tightly gripping the arms of his chair tightly.

"Hey,Billy, Jake." Bella greeted them as cheerfully as she could manage. "Charlie's gone for the day so I hope you haven't been waiting too long." She added.

"Not long." Billy's eyes pierced mine, I looked away to smile at Jake who looked at me a little wide eyed.

"Wanna come in and dry off for a minute." I asked pretending to be oblivious to his scrutiny. We all walked in, Jake lead Billy into the kitchen and I hung up my jacket.

"Your boyfriend is super scary." Jake told me and I laughed at his expression, Billy's jaw locked.

"Not really." I told him winking.

"Jake, why don't you get the new picture of Rebecca out of the car?" Billy offered suddenly making Jake jump.

"Where is it?" He asked and nodded when his dad told him it was in the back of the car and slouched back off into the rain.

After a few awkward moments Bell's cleared her throat and spoke up.

"Charlie won't be back for a long time." She stated almost rudely. He nodded not saying anything as he looked deep it thought.

"Spit it out Billy." I told him and he smiled a little at my sharp temper and then his expression softened.

"Charlie is one of my best friends." He began and took another breath. "I see you have both been spending time with the Cullen's.

"Yup." I stated popping the p.

"Maybe it's not my business…" He began

"Your right. It's not." I stated annoyed already, Bella nudged me but said nothing else. She seemed just as pissed as I was.

He raised his eyebrows at my tone. "You probably don't know this but at the reservation the Cullen family has an unpleasant reputation." He stated.

"Actually we did." Bella informed him in a hard tone that made my lips twitch into a smirk. "But the reputation couldn't be deserved because they haven't set one foot on the reservation have they?" Bella asked and we could both see her less than subtle reminder pulled him up short. Ouch.

"That's true…you both seemed well informed. More informed that I expected." He mused carefully and I nodded.

"Maybe better than you Billy." She clipped and I nodded.

"Maybe." He allowed. "Is Charlie as well informed?" Billy asked finding a whole in our shield. Sneaky basted...

"It's not your business Billy, We don't get involved with things at the reservation and he is our father. Bella and I are eighteen soon. Our business is our own." I told him and he sighed.

"Yes, I guess that it is your business." His surrender making Bella and I sighed with relief.

"Thanks Billy." I told him and he sighed.

"Just think about what you're doing girls." He urged and we nodded happy to agree with whatever.

"Okay."

"I mean don't do what you're doing." He pressed, the concern burning in his eyes made my heart squeeze and I hugged him tightly. He chuckled and hugged me back. I jumped back when the door swung open.

"I can't find it anywhere." Jake hollered and I laughed at his expression.

"Oh well, we'll bring it another time." Billy said and Jake pouted about leaving soon, we said our goodbye's at the door.

* * *

I didn't dress up in anything but what I usually wore, a deep purple tank top. My navy blue denim jacket and black skinny jeans and some military boots. I walked downstairs and saw Jasper and Edward in the living room with a very uncomfortable Bella. Jasper rose immediately and went to my side wrapping an arm around me lightly.

"You two look after my girls." Charlie said walking to the door, my dad adored Jasper. Seriously, he seemed to like Edward too.

"We will Chief swan." Edward said politely.

"You have a nice night Charlie." Jasper said with an easy smile and my dad replied with a nod a smile. I saw Jasper give Edward a smug smile and Edward and I rolled our eyes at him.

* * *

Jasper carried me onto his back into the clearing. Bella and Edward got into some debated or argument so we left them to it. I landed on my two feet luckily not falling on my ass in the field.

"HI LARA!" Emmett bellowed across the field making everyone laugh.

"I'll be right back Darlin'." Jazz said kissing my cheek and the running at a sped I couldn't comprehend to Derek and Emmet, Alice and surprising Rose came over to me.

"Are you excited?" Alice cheered." Oh Edward's here!" She cheered and with that ran off leaving me and Rose.

"How can something so small have so much energy?" I thought allowed.

"I think it was some malfunction." Rose told me and I nodded seriously. We both burst out into laughter, I liked Rose. She had a hard exterior but that didn't mean she was a bitch. It meant she was strong.

"I'm glad Jasper has you." She told me and I smiled.

"Thanks Rose." I nodded, we walked a little. Deciding we should go to Seattle one weekend. The more we talked the more open she was. She left to go help Alice a little later and I joined with Esme and Bella.

"You don't play with them?" Bella asked shyly as we walked up the pitch ,Esme keeping at pace with us easily. She smiled at us warmly, I had, had more opportunities to get closer to Esme than Bella. She was an amazing woman.

"No I prefer to referee-I like to keep them honest." She explained smiling at me knowingly, bells still look confused.

"In other words they cheat." I told her and Esme and me shared a grin and an eye roll.

"I DO NOT!" Emmet yelled over the pitch and rolled my eyes and mouthed to Bella 'He does'. I heard Jazz chuckling across the pitch.

"You should here the argument everyone gets into, like they were raised by wolves." Esme said I felt a twang of pain in my chest, I wished I had a mother like Esme. Don't get me wrong, I adored my mother and she loved me but I guess I just wished that I had someone to take care for me.

"You sound like my mom." Bella said sweetly.

"Well I do think of them as my children in many ways, did Edward tell you I had a child?" Esme asked Bella and I felt a horrible gut feeling that this story didn't have a happy ending.

"No." Bella murmured and Esme looked at me and smiled a small smile.

"Yes, my only child. He died the poor thing and it broke my heart that's why I jumped of the cliff." She said and sighed. I took her hand and squeezed it before letting it go and giving her a small smile.

"Edward said you f-fell" Bella stammered.

"Always the gentle man…I want to tell you both how happy I am my sons found you." She smiled at us warmly and I returned it.

"You don't mind then? That we are wrong for them." She asked hesitantly.

"Hey!" I called slightly offended and Bella rolled her eyes yet again. RUDE!

"No you're what Edward wants and it will work out. And of course you and Jasper too Lara. As you know my son has more problems with our diet and yet with you he is almost human." She smiled warmly in our direction once more and hugged me tightly and smiled at Bella. We stopped then and I saw that everyone was and apparently they had all spread into teams. I watched Jasper swinging his aluminium bad and watched as he waited for Alice to bowl. He grinned at me and winked and I laughed at his showing off as he did tricks with the bat. I thought when I met Jasper that he wasn't a laid back guy but in truth he was hilarious.

"I'm glad he found you Lara." Esme whispered softly to me and I turned and smiled at her.

"You would have been an amazing mom Esme." I told her truthfully and she held my hand and squeezed it and we looked back to the game.

"All right, Batter up" Esme called clearly.

Alice released the ball with a flick of the wrist and I heard a load smash from the bat which echoed of the mountains, I now know what they needed thunder. Emmet was a blur around the bases.

"Home run." Bella murmured and Esme half up a figure and sound later Edward came out of the forest with the ball in hand and a wide grin.

"Out!" Esme cried in a clear voice and I heard Emmet cuss making Rose and Esme giggle. I watched as Jasper span the bat around his hand effortlessly, I saw his eyes flicker to mine lightly making me smile a little.

After a while they swapped around.

Rosalie managed to snag a point and I cheered and she laughed at me and grinned. It was Carlisle's turn to bat and he hit it near the trees. Emmet ran up the tree and rebounded of it to catch the ball and got out Carlisle. He grinned at me wagging his eyebrows.

"My monkey man." Rose said with a grin, I grinned at her she returned it before turning back to watch he game. Jasper winked at me sbefore stepping up to bat.

The score changed constantly as the game continued, only once did Esme have to call them to order. Jazz and Em was still pouting when Rose and I took Esme's side and we laughed again. Edward and Bella were discussing how we would never watch normal baseball again and that was for sure. Derek was batting and Rose got him out, she was looking smugly at me and I chuckled at his pout. Everything was fine , right up until when Alice gasped and everyone looked up to see Edward and Alice looking at us in horror, everyone was at our side in seconds. Jazz was stood next to me with a protective arm around my waist.

"What is it Alice." Carlisle asked with an authoritative voice.

"They were travelling and they heard us play, they turned around. They want to play. Everyone shot a worried look in our direction. Rose was now stood on my other side looking at me with worry and I felt Jaspers arm tighten around my waist.

"How soon?" Carlisle asked.

"A few minutes." Alice said in a tense voice.

"We can't make it, last thing we need is for them to catch they're scent and start hunting." Edward groweled.

"How many?" Rose asked and she grasped my hand and squeezed it reassuringly. I noticed that Em was now standing next to Rose. He looked just as worried as Rose.

"Three." She answered

"Three!" Emmet scoffed. Jazz kissed me temple trying to reassure me.

"Let's just play the game, they are only curious." Carlisle said after a moment and everyone nodded.

"Derek!" Jazz yelled and Derek nodded, understanding that Jasper wanted him to take his place. He pulled of his hoody and gave it to me. "Put it on, it could help." I nodded to his pleading eyes and pulled on the oversized hoodie. I noticed that Esme was now taking Roses place, Jasper stood next to me holding me to his chest and Rose was at my side.

Edward was calling the game while Rose played the role of the catcher.

"Nothing is gunna' happen to ma Darlin'." Jasper promised, I wasn't scared. Jasper was using his Juju stuff making me feel calm. I held onto his tightly as he wrapped his arm around us.

After a few minutes, everyone turned to the forest and heard footsteps. Rosalie came to my side casually, I knew she was protecting me but didn't want to give any hints to the others that I was human. I was surprised that she was protecting me as strongly as she was.

Everyone judged Rose too quickly. I guess sometimes you gotta dig a little deeper.

"Stay by me Sweetheart." Jasper murmured and I nodded, I shared a worried look with my Sister.

I hope we made it out of this.

* * *

**Long ish chapter! What do you want more of, less of? Please review and check out my other stories. **

**Next chapter is last in twilight negment and then we hit new moon, so excited! :D**


	8. More than the stars

**Thank you all so much for the reviews guys! Y'all are awesome! I Please review this chapter, last one before I get into New Moon :D**

**This is so damn exciting! :D**

**Honestly because off the amount of amazing reviews I'm pelting out the chapters, honestly I'm so motivated. PLEASE KEEP IT UP! I am by the way going to be doing a one shot for Blake and Emmett's wedding! OF COURSE I AM! DO YOU THINK I WOULD JUST DO THAT TO Y'ALL! What do you think should get up to? What trouble should Blake and Rose cause, what about Blake's dress? Let me know in your reviews! If you haven't checked out untamed you should be ashamed of yourself and meet our Blake yourself ;) **

**I'm not sure how long the one shot will take to put up guys.  
Anyway this is Momentary Lapse In Reason so review! Lots & lots of love to y'all! :D**  
**I'm going to dedicate each chapter now to a reviewer!  
This chapter is dedicated to...madamfruitcake for your awesome contribtion. I'm love the idea and maybe I have something planned that i'll be able to slide that in...;)**

* * *

**Why I love you is a hard question to answer. I love you because you care for me like no-one else I know. I love the way I feel in your arms, so safe from dangers in the world. I love your eyes, so hypnotic and mesmerizing, beautiful to gaze into, and yet never revealing everything to me. I can explain every way that I love you because that's in possible. But I can say I love you because I you are you.**

**The first kiss is the passionate one; it's the one filled by desire and attraction and all that. But the second one is rational; you get time to think about it, worry and over analyse. Most women prefer that first kiss, but I'm partial to the second one because it's about something more.**

**It's like I realized that way down inside, I've always been lonely for something. But I don't know what for. It's like... everybody in the world wants something. Only they never really know exactly what it is - they just keep finding out what it's not. You know how, when you turn off the TV or you come out of some concert, and everything just feels... empty? Like you thought that would be what you wanted, and then it wasn't?**

* * *

**"More than the stars"**

I tried to keep as calm as possible, I knew my racing heartbeat would not help the situation. Everyone had a fairly casual stance; Jaspers arm was still tight around me. I felt calm so I knew Jazz was using his gift. Rose was stood with Em next to me, and then there was Derek and Alice, Esme, Carlisle and then Bella and Edward. Jasper's hand rubbed my back lightly adding to the comfort

The three strangers were beautiful, I didn't doubt that and yet they were terrifying. They were more animal like than the Cullen's. The man who was showing himself as the obvious leader had a beautiful mocha skin, the other man had his long brown hair in a ratty ponytail and the woman had bright red locks, she was beautiful but deadly. Their eyes were a startling shade of red. The dark haired man stepped forward smiling at Carlisle who took a few steps forward to greet the vampires closely flanked by Emmett and Derek. Rose took a small step towards me casually as Emmet moved from her side.

"We thought we heard a game." He said in a relaxed voice with a hint of a French accent. "I'm Laurent, this is Victoria and James." He introduced with a polite smile.

"I'm Carlisle. This is my family. Derek and Emmet, Rosalie, Jasper and Lara, Esme and Alice and then Bella and Edward." He said pointing us out in small groups to avoid calling attention to individuals.

I zoned out of the conversation, I tried to act as vampire as possible. I focused on Jaspers thumb gently traces circle in my hip to stop me from being scared. I noticed that Victoria looked at me more than the others; I tried to avoid her gaze. Everything was going well until three things happened. The wind blew and ruffled Bella's hair, Edward stiffened and the second male. James. Suddenly whipped his head around nostrils flaring.

Everything happened quickly,Edward and James growled as Edward stood in front of Bella defensively, Jasper and Rose didn't move to flank Bella they stayed by my side, they didn't stand in front of me. I hadn't been caught and they didn't want to draw attention to me but jaspers twitching hand didn't go unnoticed by Victoria.

"She's with us." Carlisle stated and all of them looked shocked.

"But she's _human._" Laurent spat in confusion.

Oh Jeesh, oh Jeesh. Holy mother-

James straightened up and yet never took his eyes of Bella, I noticed that Victoria never took her eyes of me and so did Rose. Rose snarled at the red head and she hissed back.

"Another one." Victoria spat at me, Jasper growled, Bella flinched in terror from the sound as he shifted me behind him. Victoria backed away a little.

"We would like to accept your invitation. We will of course not harm the girls. We seem to have a lot to learn about each other." Laurent said looking at all of us, I noticed his gaze hovered over Jasper's a little longer…Fear? Fear flashed his eyes, I didn't understand what made Jazz look scarier than the rest.

"We'll show you the way. Emmett, Rosalie, Derek, Esme?" Carlisle called. Rose looked at me for a second and hesitated and Jasper nodded and she smiled at me and joined the others. Jazz pulled me in the direction Edward was all but dragging Bella, Alice was walking behind them.

"Are ya' ok Darlin'?" Jasper asked and looked at me worried, looking over me for any signs of distress.

"I'm fine, I'm worried about Bella." I told him and he growled and my eyes widened in shock.

"I don't care 'bout Bella; I wanna' know if _you're_ ok for fuck sake Lara!" Jasper growled and I leaned against his chest, anyone else would have been afraid but I wasn't. Startled a little yes, Jasper was protective by nature, because of when he was raised and how he lived he looked at everything from a military point of view.

"I'm fine Jazz." I told him before he could press further he pulled me on him back and took off to the jeep. Alice was riding shotgun and I was in the back in the middle next to Bella and Jazz. Jasper pulled me against him chest and I laid there and looked over at Bella.

"Where are we going?" Bella asked. No one answered and Bella exploded.

"Dammit, Edward! Where are you talking me?" She demanded. I curled further against Jasper who wrapped his arms fully around me murmuring soothing words in my ear.

"We have to get you away from here – far- far away and right now." Edward said not taking his eye of the road. We were now going 105 miles per hour.

"Turn around! You have to take me home!" Bella shouted and struggled with her harness.

I could feel Jasper trying to calm me down, I was afraid. Not for me but for Bella.

"S'gunna be fine pretty girl'." He murmured and I nodded not really agreeing.

"NO! Edward! You can't do this!" Bella yelled again. I was going to slap her in a minute I swear to god.

"I have to Bella, now please be quite." Edward said defeated.

"I won't! You have to take me back! Charlie will call the FBI!" Oh for god sakes, I saw Jasper roll his eyes. Any other time I would have laughed.

But not this time. Not now.

"Calm down Bella, we have been there before." Edwards's voice said in a cold tone.

"Not over me you don't! You're going to ruin your lives!" She yelled struggling with her harness.

"Jasper." Edward said, Jazz shifted me onto his lap in the middle and grabbed hold of Bella's hands restraining her. She tried to tug and pull through his iron hands but he didn't move. He only held her tiny hands with one of his large one's the other he used to stroke my hair lightly. As I leaned against his chest.

What if something happened to him? I don't think I could live in a word where this man didn't exist. I inhaled his honey sent memorizing it, encase this was the last chance I got.

"Pull over Edward." Alice told him, speaking for the first time.

"He's a tracker Alice! Didn't you see? He won't stop!" Edward yelled. And I felt Jasper stiffen. I looked over my shoulder to see him looking at me with a burning worry. I kissed under his jaw lightly but it didn't make him relax. I realised he was just as worried as Edward just not as…verbal about it.

"Pull over Edward!" Alice said with authority.

"He'll follow her scent; it will be easy to find her Alice." I heard Bella gasp and I felt a pain flash through me.

"Charlie! You can't leave him there!" Bella thrashed against me again and I started to get pissed off.

"Give it a fucking rest Bella." I spat at her my temper getting the best of me.

"Lara…" Alice said trying to calm me down and Jasper rubbed my arm and I nodded my head breathing in deeply.

"There is another option…"Alice said in a reasonable voice.

"THERE IS NO OTHER OPTION!" Edward exploded and both me and Bella jumped in shock.

"We 'ave to take 'em back Edward…the risk is too big." Jasper said, finally speaking.

"Lara will be fine Jazz as will Bella, we need a better plan." Alice tried to soothe him and Jaspers tightened his grip on my waist.

"No." Edward stated.

"He'll wait…We will have to kill him." Edward said to Jaspers reading his mind.

"I 'ave no problem with that." Jasper said, I could hear the smile in his voice also the strategy left over from his military background

"Listen Edward, you take me back. I will tell my dad I want to go back to phoenix. I pack my bags. We will wait until the tracker is watching and we run. He will follow us and leave Charlie alone and you can take me anywhere you want." Bella said and we all looked at her stunned.

"What 'bout Lara?" Jasper asked and I fought a smile at his authority and focused tone.

"Lara stays with Jasper." Bella stated as if it was obvious.

"That's not a bad idea, S'long as I stay by Lara." Jasper said surprised and determined.

"It will work Edward." Alice said in a strong tone.

"You have 15 minutes you hear me." Edward said and looked at Bella for the first time and I nodded when Jasper sent me the same look.

"Ok." Bella said and relaxed for the first time. "Err Jasper." She looked at her hands and he let go and gave her a small smile. Jasper wrapped his arm around me fully now and pulled me to lie on his chest and stroked my hair.

Edward then described the plan in more detail.

"You need to stay here Edward, Charlie isn't stupid only one of you guys can leave. The tracker is going to know where I am so will you be." Bella said and we looked at her again.

"I'll take them, Jasper and I can take them." Alice announced and Edward looked to Jasper with a raised brow.

"Can you handle it?" He asked him, I felt Jasper's chest rumble, Bella flinched back in her chair at the threatening growl. Edward smiled and nodded.

"You'll need Derek to help you track the female." Alice stated sadly, not looking forward to leaving her mate. Derek had a gift too, he was also a tracker.

"I can't do that." Edward sounded completely defeated now.

Bella told him to send him on a wild goose chase and meet up with her in a few days and arranged to meet in phoenix.

"She diabolical." Jazz chuckled.

"What will you do in forks?" Edward asked, picking at straws.

"Stay indoors." Alice answered immediately.

"I kinda' of like it." Jasper said and I rolled my eyes. "I'mma not lettin' ya' outta' ma sight Darlin'." He whispered to me making me sigh and I knew he was telling the truth. He wouldn't.

We finally agreed on the plan and we pulled up to the house.

"Go on pretty girl'." Jasper encouraged and I got outta the car with Bella and we shared a look before going in the house.

"You ready for this?" I asked her and she shook her head. "Me either."

* * *

My dad's heartbroken face I think would stain my memory forever. I just couldn't get it out of my head.

Jasper had left with Alice to go back and organise things, very reluctantly Edward had told me. We walked into the front door of the Cullen house and Jasper pulled me into his arms immediately. I gasped when I saw Laurent but Jazz assured me he was here to help.

Edward growled at Laurent and Laurent explained what he told us about James and then swiftly left. Edward shared his plan and everyone agreed.

"Get her upstairs and trade clothes." Edward commanded Rose and I sighed knowing where this was going. She stared back livid and hissed.

"What is Bella to me? I'll trade with Lara." Rose shot Bella a dirty look and Em wrapped an arm around rose trying to calm her and Jazz pulled me to him. I gave an apologetic look to Bella and she smiled showing me its ok. I couldn't help the pang of happiness when Rose spoke; I knew if the roles were reversed I would feel the same I guess, I really liked Rose.

I immediately recognised why I liked her so much. She reminded me of Leah, her strength her fire. I missed Leah , I missed her a lot in truth.

"Esmé?" Edward shocked us by ignoring Rose.

"Of course." She murmured and shot her and Bella upstairs.

"Common rose, calm down." Em said rubbing her back. Rose offered her hand to me and I took it as she led me upstairs and we swapped clothes. I heard her mutter.

"No way was I wearing Bella's rags." I hid a laugh, not the time nor the place for laughter.

We all walked to the garage in silence after.

"Esmé and Rosalie will be taking your truck Bella." Edward told Bella and Rose looked at it with distaste.

"Tel me about it." I muttered to her making her smirk a little at the comment

"Alice and Jasper, take the Mercedes. You'll need the darkest tint." They both nodded.

"We will take the jeep." He said looking at Derek, Emmet and Carlisle.

Everyone began walking towards the car and Jasper pulled me to his chest and crushed his lips to mine for a second. Before opening the passenger side for me. Alice climbed into the back with Bella and after Edward and Bella said their goodbyes we were gone.

* * *

I was more than a little disoriented when I woke up. All my thoughts were hazy and I was cold, not uncomfortably but unusually. My eyes fluttered open and grazed against a hard structure, I looked up and saw Jasper looking down at me with a small smile. I moved a little and became away I was laid on Jasper's lap. My legs were across the couch and my head was on his chest. I took the opportunity to curl my legs up trying to be close as possible to him.

"How ya doin' Darlin'?" He asked, worry laced his strong tone and I sighed, his words destroying my plan to ignore the impending doom. I sat up a little straighter and his arms loosened around me so I could do so.

I looked around and realised immediately that we were in some kind of hotel. The ridiculous amount of lamps and ugly curtains dead-give away. I didn't see Alice and Bella and panicked a little. Where they ok?

"Shh Sweetheart, Bella and Alice are in the bedroom." He told me lowly brushing my hair from my face lightly.

"What's going to happen now Jazz?" I asked him trying to clear my throat not to sound to vulnerable and his golden eyes softened, I noticed they were slightly dark which made me worry. Not about his control but I'm sure it was uncomfortable for me to be so close but I didn't have it in me to move which was selfish yes but…I needed him like I needed air..

"We're waitin' for a call sweetheart." He told me gently.

I began to climb off Jazz when he lifted me effortlessly into his arms, my eye lids heavy. I didn't think I could sleep but I snuggled my face into the crook of his neck as he carried me into one of the tiny bedrooms laying me on the bedroom. I fought my tiredness but I lost. My eyes lids crashing down before I could think.

I'm glad, I couldn't think of anything good that would come of this.

I woke up god know how many hours later, from the lighting outside I would guess it was late afternoon. I looked down at Rosalie's clothes. A dark green vest top and some deep blue skinny jeans. God she had a good fashion taste.

The floor boars creaked as I opened the door. Alice was sat on the couch with Bella, Jasper on the one in front. They were looking at a drawing so intently, they didn't seem to hear me come in.

I walked over and took a look myself, something caught my eye. A long golden archway. A memory hit me and I pointed my finger to it.

"It's a ballet studio." I stated and they all looked over to me in shock,

"You know this room?" Jasper's voice was clam but I knew him well enough to read the undercurrent of something. But I couldn't name what it was.

"I remember, we used to go to lessons there when were eight or nine. It had the same arch way." Bella added and I nodded. Bella quit after a few weeks…she sucked. Badly.

"You're sure it's the same room?" Alice asked us, Jazz was looking between the photo , Bella and I a hint of panic in his eyes. He masked it quickly even offering a small smile. I saw right through it and sat by his side leaning on his shoulder, his arm came around my waist as normal but he pulled me onto his knee at a frightening speed making Bella jump a little. He hugged me against him tightly.

"Alice can I call my mom, the phones safe right?" Bella said all of a sudden and Alice looked to Jasper who nodded.

"I don't see any 'arm, just don't say where ya' are." He said after he thought about it for a second.

Bella walked into the other room and rang mom. I stayed curled against Jasper as time passed. I just hoped everyone would be alright.

"Time t'go Sweetheart." Jasper told me and I nodded. Following him out of the room, Bella close to my side as I was to Jasper. I felt guilty really, I had Jasper close. I didn't know how I would be if he wasn't here but Bella…Edward was on a plane on his way here. She seemed deep in thought. Very, _very_ deep in thought which worried me a little.

* * *

The airport was huge and crowded, our luck that we were in the largest terminal. Jasper kept me at his side, the entire time. I was going to be leaving with him, Bella and Edward and go somewhere for a while.

"Are you sure you're not hungry?" Alice asked Bella for the fifth time from the table we sat, Edward would be here in less than twenty minutes, suddenly Bella jumped up and nodded.

Alice began to rise but Bella shook her head.

"Do you mind if Jasper comes, I'm feeling a little…?" Her eyes conveying all we needed to know, Jasper released my hand and kissed my temple before leaving with Bella through the crowd.

Alice looked just as confused as I. Bella always seemed a little uncomfortable with Jasper, I don't really know why I didn't think he was scary…well I did but I wasn't scared of him. I loved him.

My eyes widened in shock of where my thought trail had gone. I couldn't be in love with him.

_But I was._

I don't know the moment I fell for him, I was so determined not to but all my efforts were in vain. It all seemed pointless now. I did love him.

"How are you holding up?" Alice asked me and I shrugged tuning to her with a light smile.

"Okay, I guess. How are you holding up without Derek?" I asked her and she smiled a little wider and then frowned.

"I hate being away from him, I found him a few years after I brought Jasper back. Did he tell you how many times he made me draw you?" She teased making me laugh happy for a distraction. And then she froze, her eyes widened and before I could grasp what was happening she was dragging me through the crows.

"Jasper!" She called louder than usual. We came through the crowd and arrived outside the toilets.

"What's wrong?" Jasper demanded from us rushing to my side as fast as a human possibly could.

"She's gone!" Alice cried almost hysterical. I think my heart stopped as I looked at them wide eyed.

"No, no no…" I cried, Jasper pulled me into a tight embrace. Where was my sister…?

"Stop pacing, you're making me nervous." Rosalie ordered and I shot her a dirty look. We were at or well she was sat looking like a model on the couch of my old house in phoenix. Bella for some fucking reason got it into her head that she should go and meet a rogue vampire and hand herself over. I was furious. Everyone had rushed to the ballet studio. Leaving me in the hands of Rose.

Bella was such a fucking idiot.

"They're going to be fine." She told me gently and I nodded flopping down next to her.

"I swear if she doesn't get eaten then I'm going to kill her." I muttered making Rose laugh lightly. Before I could blink Jasper and Emmett crashed through the tiny door into the house. Rose rushed to Emmett quickly. Jasper pulled me up from the couch and into his arms before I could blink.

"Jasper." I released a breath I dint even know I was holding and I felt relief spread through me, some of it belonged to him I think.

"Bella is in pretty bad shape Lara, she's being taken to hospital; she's going to be fine though." Emmett told me, my breath caught as Jasper rubbed my back.

"Let's get out of here Darlin'." He said picking me up, I don't think I could make my legs move even if I tried.

* * *

Bella was in the hospital for two weeks.

A broken leg.

4 broken ribs.

A mind concussion.

Bruises covering her body.

As soon as she properly recovered _I_ was going to put her _back_ in the fucking hospital.

"I can't believe you made me go to the fucking prom." I muttered to Jazz who laughed, and span me around making me land back safely in his arms. I was wearing a dark blue long dress. Rose picked it out and curled my hair and did some fancy shit with it. He looked gorgeous as per usual but damn…

Jazz looked over his shoulder, you could see Bella and Edward outside dancing in deep conversation.

"You look very beautiful Darlin'." He whispered in my ear making me shudder. Everyone in the room was dancing, no one paying attention to our little bubble.

"Jasper." I said and he looked at me warmly.

"Yes Sweetheart?" He asked and I pressed my lips lightly against his, it was strange how they moulded perfectly against his cool marble ones. "I love you." I whispered against them and I felt him freeze a little before a picked me up a little and spin me around making me giggle.

"Hmm…I've waited a good long while to hear ya' say that. I love ya too Darlin'. More than the stars." He promised.

"More than the stars." I agreed and laid my head on his chest hoping that somehow I could remain there. Forever.

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**PLEASE REVIEW! Thousands of people read and then fifteen people review? WHERE IS THE JUSTICE!**  
**I'm having a want to start a new story but I have no idea's, please send me some idea's through reviews! Do any of YOU guys have an idea and want me to help write with you? **

**Let me know! Answer and review guys!**


	9. Silence is the loudest unspoken word

**Here's to the crazy ones. The misfits. The rebels. The troublemakers. The square pegs in round holes. The ones who see things differently. They aren't fond of rules, and they have no respect for status quota. You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify or vilify them, but the one thing you can't do is ignore them because they change things. They push the human race forward and while some see crazy ones - we see genius, because the ones who are crazy enough to think that can change the world, are the ones that do.**

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"_Silence is the loudest unspoken word you will ever say."_

I hated my birthday. It meant more years of sucky living and having to deal with issues that everyone in the world has to deal with. I didn't ever really feel the needed to celebrate that fact. However now I had Jasper I guess I did. He made me feel alive, awake. I had felt numb a lot in my life, like a candle burned out or more than likely blew out by everyone I had ever met.

Jasper didn't even remember his birthday and went along with whatever I wanted to do really and then…Alice Cullen came along. I love Alice more than white bread but her addiction to parties and such is borderline OCD and is slightly worrying. Any way we were having a party. My birthday present (Which I insistence he didn't get me but his southern selective hearing as I like to call is chose not to hear me) Was a beautiful dress. The tight black bodice was a love heart shape neck and came tight across my figure and flared out slightly at the skirt and came a few inches below my thigh. It wasn't short and yet not long. It was perfect. Almost annoyingly perfect as he was.

I walked down the stairs running a hand through my hair, School kind of sucked, everyone wished me a happy birthday but Bella was pissing me off acting like a spoiled brat it wouldn't bother me but Jazz wasn't there and I missed him, he was pretending to be a year older than me so he graduated with the senior class. I was a senior now…whoop Dee doo.

Charlie was just pulling off his jacket and he turned to me obviously hearing my arrival.

"Happy birthday! You look…very pretty." He said cheerily as he could manage…I mean it's Charlie and I chuckled. I noticed Bella wasn't down yet, I had changed into my dress and heels but earlier for school I was wearing my new top that Rose got for me, and it was diesel polo and damn was it pretty. The leather jacket Alice gave to me and well…just a pair of leggings and my converse.

"Where's Mrs. Miserable?" I asked him and he rolled his eyes, he opened his mouth to speak but a voice beat him to it.

"I'm not miserable." Bella yelled from the living room making me laugh. She obviously got in just after me. I just wanted to hurry up and get here.

"Do you have any plans for tonight?" Dad asked, I was beginning to feel sorry for him, he was always been cut off. The door knocked swiftly making me smile. I pointed to the door as I walked to answer it.

"Jazz is taking me to his house, I think Edward and Bells are going too." I told him and he nodded looking relieved obviously worried he hasn't planned anything.

I opened the door and smiled naturally, god he was beautiful. His perfectly sculpted face, his honey eyes. Shadows were fairly dark under his eyes showing me he would have out feed soon. I realised he wasn't saying anything or even moving although his eyes trailed up and down my body.

"You look very beautiful Darlin', I missed ya' today." Jazz muttered in my ear, After pulling me into a tight embrace making me laugh and little and swap my arms around him.

"I missed you too, thanks." I grinned and pulled back allowing him to kiss me lightly.

"Okay, I'm leaving." Charlie stated very uncomfortable making me laugh.

"Nice to see ya' Charlie." Jasper smiled, Charlie and Jazz got on well. He didn't spend time with him when I wasn't here, he probably would but…Well Jazz struggled most with the bloodlust part of being a vampire. But he did amazingly and he was getting better at it as time carried on.

I pulled Jasper into the living room obviously with his help because I couldn't move him on my own. Vampire and all…Bella was wiping her tears from watching Romeo and Juliet.

"You're watching this shit again?" I asked her from the doorway and her eyes narrowed.

"It's a good film. What do you not like about it anyway?" She asked me trying to buy time before we left for the party making me chuckle, I let her. Edward was casually watching Bella as he usually did. Edward and I didn't talk much, Edward kept Bella away from Jazz and I was always with Jazz ergo…But he loved my sister which was enough for me.

"Well for first he is so in love with Rosaline, then he sees Juliet and then falls in love with her and then ends up getting them both killed due to lack of communication. It's all ridiculous. You should read Jane Eyre, better book. Better movie." I told her and she shook her head.

"It was love at first sight." She insisted.

"It was a hormonal boy who acted like a jackass and killed the girl he loved. Take from it what you will." I shrugged making Jasper laugh as I leaned against him, his arm around my waist. It irritated me to see Edward hover over Bella, he didn't do it so it was obviously but I still knew he was doing it. I got why so I never spoke up about it.

"Go get changed." I ordered and she stood up and obeyed mumbling under her breath all the way.

"Happy birthday Darlin'." Jazz whispered in my ear and I laughed at his attempt to lighten the mood.

I hope tonight would go well…

* * *

"Holy shit…" I muttered under my breath making Jazz and Edward laugh, Bella seemed to be hyperventilating as we walked into the very, _very_ pink room.

"Do you even own anything pink?" Jasper whispered lowly in my ear as Edward and Bella walked in the room, Bella looking horrified.

I smirked a little and shrugged. "Maybe one day I'll show you." I teased, confusion hit his eyes before they widened and filled with lust and his grin grew. He cleared his throat and took my hand pulling me towards the Smiling Cullen's.

"Lara." Rose called and I turned to grin at my best friend, she pulled me into a huge hug and I wrapped my arms around her tightly. I had missed her a lot.

"I thought you were staying in Africa for a few more weeks?" I asked her, shocked she was here and she smiled.

"I wouldn't miss your birthday." She told me and wagged my eyes brows.

"LARA PIE!" Emmett boomed spinning me around.

"Emmy bear!" I cheered back making him laugh. Alice skipped over to Bella to hand her a present, I walked over to Jazz who was standing near Rose. Both as far away from Bella as sociably acceptable.

Jazz for safety and Rose…well she just didn't like her.

"You ok?" I asked Jasper and he nodded wrapping an arm around me pulling me to his side.

I laughed at Bella's face when she shook the empty box and then her look of amusement when she found out about the stereo.

"Open mine and Edward next!" Alice cried making me laugh, Derek grinning at his small pixie. Carlisle and Esmé stood looking at their children fondly.

"I'll be right back." I told Jazz who looked confused but nodded and realised me anyway. I walked over to the table next to Rose to grab the present I had left for Bella.

Five seconds.

That's it. I turned away for five seconds, when I turned back around my eyes widened in horror as I saw Jasper run for Bella. I didn't even recognise him, pure hunger in his eyes. Edward pushed her across the room, causing her to smash into plates which caused the blood the increase, flooding across the floor. Rose stood near me too protecting me, standing in front of me and yet ready to rush over and help Emmett if needs be.

My boyfriend was trying to kill my sister I looked over Roses' shoulder to see Derek and Carlisle pulling Jasper outside. I could tell both Rose was holding her breath, I realised that I had held mine too but for a completely different reason of course.

"Go rose." I muttered, she looked over at me with sad eyes, I couldn't even try and smile at her, Esme gave me a heart breaking look as she left with Rosalie.

I rushed over to Bella along with Carlisle, Edward growled at us obviously his mind only processing a threat.

"Let me help my sister Edward." I asked him gently and he blinked and stepped aside hovering over Bella. He wasn't breathing that much was clear.

"I've got her bag." Alice announced and then led us into his office, moving things quickly out of the way so Bella could perch on the desk. I noticed that Edward hadn't taken a breath.

"Go Edward, I'll make sure she fine." I told him and his gaze fell on mine with concern.

"Are you ok?" He asked and I smiled a little.

"I'm fine." I broke it. Just like that. I had always said that I would never say I was fine until finally I was. And I was so far away from Fine it was scary. But I wasn't afraid of Jasper, Freaked out. Yes. Bella fell in love with Edward the vampire but I fell in love with Jasper the man. The fact that Jasper was a vampire didn't bother me, not in the slightest. I tried very hard not to dwell on his past…the people he killed. It wasn't his fault, he was given another option. I wasn't going to punish him for being brave. You can spend you entire life looking at the pieces of your broken life on the floor, over analysing, crying and worrying or you can pick up your shit off the floor and move on. That' what he did and what I intended to do.

Edward's eyebrows furrowed not really believing me, his jaw remained looked as he stared at Bella.

"Go find Jasper; I'm sure he's very upset with himself right now." Carlisle said while picking out the glass in her cut, we all agreed, Edward sighed at us all before leaving .A few minutes later I saw Alice struggling.

"I think Jasper needs your help, could you make sure he's ok please?" I told her and she looked at me and smiled and mouthed thank you. I winked at her.

I sat across from Bella who was looking very, very guilty which was ridiculous but before I could tell her off the words exploded from her.

"I'm sorry Lara." Bella said and I looked at her in disbelief.

"This isn't your fault Bella." It told her and she shook her head.

"Don't blame Jasper…" She begged and I shook my head.

"I don't Bells, Jazz tried really hard and he slipped up. I'm not mad at him Bella I'm just worried about you, I know he's putting himself down as we speak and I don't want him to think I'm disappointed in him." I told her and she nodded in understanding. I wasn't afriad of Jasper, I never had been but right now it was my sister that was important.

"Do you want me to take you home?" Carlisle asked us and before I could open my mouth Edward was stood at Bella's side. His gaze unreadable, pain in his eyes but he kept it guarded. Almost unreadable. Almost.

"I'll do that." Edward told him and Carlisle nodded giving me a one armed hug.

"Happy birthday Lara." He told me lowly, a hint a sadness in there and I smiled.

"Thanks." I said my goodbye's to him and Esme after offering to help clean up.

God I hoped Jasper is alright.

* * *

I lay in my bed as the rain slashed down at my window, happy birthday my ass. The window mad a slight creak making me sit up, my wild curls flowing down my body over my tank top. Jasper's face was heart breaking; I felt a piece of my shatter at the pain written on his face.

"I am so very sorry sweetheart." His voice was weak and destroyed, even his usual straight posture diminished. I climbed off the bed and made way slowly over to him. He was very still as he watched me, he stiffened as I got close but made no move to move away from me. I leaned against him gently and wrapped my arms around his neck. He softened a little but it took a few seconds before he returned my embrace. He pulled me tightly to him, he buried his head in my hair as I held him as tightly as I possibly could.

"I'm sorry I'm weak Lara." He muttered, his voice breaking. I pulled back to give him a look.

"I love you Jasper, You're not weak-People screw up. You're a predator not a puppy Jazz, Bella didn't get hurt everything is ok. No-one is mad with you." I told him honestly and he hesitated and then smiled a little. I realised he must have been checking if I actually felt that way. I pressed my lips against his lightly, he had been hunting obviously after the…incident but I didn't want to push him too further.

After a little while he carried me into bed lying next to me as he usually did.

"I love you Lara, More than the stars." He promised as he always did every night since prom nearly six months ago.

"I know." I breathed, I fell asleep to him low chuckle.

And I did, I just hoped it was enough to get through all the adversity.

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**Not looking forward to not writing Jasper for a while but we all know how the story goes…or do we? How do you think Lara will react and what will Jazz say? Will he pull and Edward or to what Emmett did to Blake? Stay tuned and I'll let y'all know :D**

**Hmmmmm...Anyone for a little slice of Paul? **

**Review guys please, let me know what your looking forward to, Any idea's? :D**


	10. Can I find the strength to live my life…

**Guys! It's here finally, the goodbye. I'm not entirely sure how many chapter I'm going to do for the New moon segment to be honest with y'all but at least 5 more chapter so around 7 is my guess but I'm kind of bad at that shit, if I don't feel the inspiration I wont's write that shit. Period. Oh and I put a playlist at the bottom of what I listened to so far when writing the stories.**

**I know a lot of you guys didn't want Jasper to leave! I already miss him but for the my vision of the Eclipse segment he kinda has to! Sorry guys but I think you'll like it!:D**

**Lots of love for y'all and check out Untamed on my profile it's an Emmett/OC…Jeesh guys if you didn't already know this then you should ;) Read and review people.**

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**Do you ever get that feeling where you don't want to talk to anybody? You don't want to smile and you don't want to fake being happy. But at the same time you don't know exactly what's wrong either. There isn't a way to explain it to someone who doesn't already understand. If you could want anything in the world it would be to be alone. People have stopped being comforting and being along never was. At least when you're alone no one will constantly ask you what is wrong and there isn't anyone who won't take 'I don't know' for an answer. You feel the way you do just because. You hope the feeling will pass soon and that you will be able to be yourself again, but until then all you can do is wait.**

**Life isn't about keeping score. It's not about how many people call you and it's not about who you've dated, are dating, or haven't dated at all. It isn't about who you've kissed, what sport you play, or which guy or girl likes you. It's not about your shoes or your hair or the colour of your skin or where you live or go to school. In fact, it's not about grades, money, clothes, or colleges that accept you or not. Life isn't about if you have lots of friends, or if you are alone, and it's not about how accepted or unaccepted you are. Life just isn't about that. But life is about who you love and who you hurt. It's about how you feel about yourself. It's about trust, happiness, and compassion. Life is about avoiding jealousy, overcoming ignorance, and building confidence. It's about what you say and what you mean. It's about seeing people for who they are and not what they have. Most of all, it is about choosing to use your life to touch someone else's in a way that could never have been achieved otherwise. These choices are what life's about.**

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"_**Can I find the strength to live my life…without you?"**_

I shifted a little nervously, which was strange. I mean, I'm not a nervous person in general. All the windows where open, the wind blowing softly against my skin making me feel a little cool. I just wished I could curl up against Jasper to keep cool.

Jazz…was in pretty bad shape. He was really down over the past two days, not moody but…destroyed. He took what happened really hard, the agony in his eyes made it seem like he killed Bella and then the rest of the country. He was coming over any time now and I was going to have to talk to him about this. I couldn't sit by and watch the guilt eat away at him. Bella wasn't in, she must have gone to Edward's after school. Edward was the same as Jasper but more…cool and collected. Emotionless and I think that worried Bella more than if he was as hurt as Jazz. Edward had kept Bella away from Jasper when Jazz came here which had been fairly frequent over the past two days.

My head snapped up from where I sat at my next, attempting to rationalise and distract my thoughts from Jazz to finish my Romeo and Juliet essay. The window in my room had a slight creek that always annoyed me but now it just alerted me to Jasper's presence. I stood up quickly and smiled a little at Jasper who's expression was blank. His posture straight as if he was about to walk into a business meeting. Distracted and controlled.

"Hey, are you ok?" I asked him trying not to face palm myself as I stepped closer to him. He nodded stiffly.

"Lara, I'm leaving for a while." The words flooded from his lips so quickly I had to strain to hear them. I blinked trying to make my brain focus the on processing the words.

"What? Why?" I demanded, I was happy my voice wasn't cracking. His jaw was locked and his eyes seemed darker than usual. Hollow. I was surprised to see barely any dark circles under his eyes though.

He couldn't be leaving. Maybe he meant a short trip…

"I am going to join Alice and Derek on their trip around Europe along with the rest of my family." He stated again. My temper spiked at his behaviour. I didn't want statistics, I wanted fucking answers.

"Jasper. Just spit it the fuck out." I ordered.

"I'm leaving, I came to say goodbye." He told me straight. I felt everything inside me smash. Every wall he had broken down came up three fold. No longer was I surrounded by wooden gates but iron walls. Tears came but burned away from my natural instinct to close up. I felt completely and utterly numb.

"Just get out Jasper." I told him, he didn't flinch physically but something flashed his eyes I didn't try and figure it out. More lies. God I was stupid.

So, so damn stupid. I had allowed this to happen, I had let myself care. Let myself love him. It felt like I was been torn in two but I wasn't about to give him the satisfaction of watching me break. I wouldn't break. Not for anyone. Not for him.

Not anymore.

He flashed in front of me, my posture became for rigid and he pressed a kiss to my forehead, his lips lingered for a few moments and he stepped away.

"Get out." I managed to make myself whisper afraid my voice would break if I spoke any louder.

"Lara-" Jasper's voice startled me a little, the gentleness in it made me burn, he seemed rushed as if he had missed his train and suddenly wanted to get on it again, to take back the last few moments. My ears rang.

"Just get out!" I yelled and I heard the window slam close. I think I stayed looking at the empty space for a few minutes before my legs collapsed and I hit the floor with a thud. I held my hand over my mouth to keep in a sob. I crawled to the side of my bed and pulled myself up wrapping myself in my blankets.

He was _gone._

* * *

Bella was missing; one of the only things that I had left was missing. Had they taken her with them? Would she have left me just like that? I refused to show I was broken.

I didn't feel the pain, I didn't feel hurt. I just felt numb.

"We'll find her Lara." Billy promised and I nodded not really taking in the words. The forest was dark; I didn't take my eyes off it. I didn't know what I was waiting for, maybe for her to rush through the woods?

Maybe he'd come back…

No. I didn't want him to come back. I couldn't let myself want him to come back. I wouldn't. I didn't stay upfront where most people were, Mike and his parents, even Angela's parents joined in with the search. Jake was with his Dad who had wheeled over to Charlie and Harry.

"Lara?" I heard a low husky voice come from behind me; I turned to see someone I certainly didn't expect. Paul Lahore. He was well…gorgeous. His russet skin pulled over his toned muscles, he was shirtless. Wasn't it a little too cold for a search? Not that I cared about the weather, I just wanted my sister to be ok. Paul towered over me. Everything about his seemed amplified his high cheekbones and dark hair and eyes seemed...more. His expression was curious and soft…well soft for Paul.

"Hi." I managed to say, he didn't answer he just moved closer and wrapped his arms around me tightly and held me. He was burning. Warm, it was nice. It was opposite of Ja-his cold exterior and apparently interior too. I wrapped my arms around him after a while.

"I got her!" I heard a low voice call across to the forest. I realised my arms, Paul didn't let go but he loosened his grip so I could turn. My eyes widened at the slight of my sister hanging loosely in the arms of Sam Uley. I didn't know a lot about Sam really; just that he was older and used to date my old friend Leah. Shit went really downhill when Emily came to town and Sam broke up with Leah for Emily. Leah was broken. I never really knew Emily but she had always seem nice, not the 'steal your boyfriend' type but I guess you really don't know people until they bite you on the ass. I knew that.

"She's alright." Sam assured my Dad as he stumbled into the house at the weight of Bells. She looked defeated, she had given up completely and I felt the rest of me shatter. Not that there was much left in the first place. Paul stayed close to my side silently as I walked into the living room where Bella was. I stayed while the doctor checked her out but left for the kitchen when Charlie began his inquisition. In the hallway before the door Paul grabbed my arm pulling me out of here shot of the remaining people.

"Are you ok?" He asked, Paul was a jerk, he always had been but deep down he was a good guy. He had grown up through a lot of shit and he had a bad attitude to show for it but I guess that's what he used as his wall. It made his stronger.

"I'm fine." I lied smoothly and shrugged. "Shit happens." I smiled a little and he rolled his eyes. Paul wasn't one to dig deeper, that's what I had liked about him. If he knew I lied…he didn't show it.

"I gotta go." He told me pressing a kiss to my cheek and turned away.

"Paul!" I called and he tuned with question. "Thanks." I told him a with a genuine small smile. It was the only genuine thing I had done since…anyway it was genuine. He grinned a little back and winked before jogging out of the door. I walked into the kitchen, Charlie was saying goodbye to the last of everyone. His eyes were sympathetic when I walked in.

"Jas-" He began and I held my hand up shaking my head.

"I don't wanna hear it Dad. It's done. He's gone." I stated coolly. He sighed but nodded in acceptance. I heard a small bang upstairs that Charlie didn't seem to hear.

"Goodnight Dad." I told him and jogged up the stairs, opening Bella's door slowly. I froze when I saw Bella sobbing in a puddle on the floor. I walked over and bent down wrapping my arms around her shaking frame.

"He's gon-gone." She cried and I nodded, a traitorous tear slipping down my cheek. I held my arms around her tightly rubbing her back.

"Shh…" I tried to soothe her but how was I supposed to fix her when I was broken just as much as she was?

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**So how do you guys think her reaction was? Lara and Bella are very different people, when things get too complex for Lara she shuts down, putting up walls and finding distraction's to stop it leaking through.**

**I just wanted to give you guys the playlist I listened to when reading this story;**  
**Paramore-Ignorance.**  
** -You are the only exception  
-****That's what you get.  
**  
**Ron Pope-Drop in the ocean.  
Spank rock- Car song.  
before we turn to stone ingrid michaelson.**

**Please leave a review! Even if only a smiley face, just something to tell me you want me to carry on! Oh and before i Forget, If you watn me to read a story please write it in a review or PM me and I will! :D**


	11. I could use someone, Like you

**Awh you guys are absolutly amazing! Answers for your question , yes! Lara's story is a lot more involved than Blake's so she willbe more involved, We will see how much Jasper changed LAra not just how she changed him. We'll see lot's of differnt sides to her! :D  
**

**Please leave a review!**

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**There's one thing a quote does that nothing and no one else can do... it can become a part of you. You may never meet the person who said it but that person is now a companion. Quotes help you get over pain, feel love, make you smile and laugh, and helps you through those though tough days when you think that no one knows what you're going through.**

**Frustrated because I can't tell if it's real. Mad because I don't know how you feel. Upset because we can't make it right. Sad because I need you day and night. Angry because you won't take my hand. Aggravated because you don't understand. Disappointed because we can't be together, but still I'll love you forever.**

**People are always telling me to smile, like smiling is going to just take away all the hurt and pain. Well I've tried that... I've tried hiding my sorrows and covering the sadness in smiles... and what I've learned is that when it hurts this much inside your heart always has a way of showing it no matter how many masks you wear.**

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**October**

**November**

**December**

**January**

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_**"**__**I could use someone, like you."**_

Coffee splattered over the table as Charlie's fist came down on table. I looked up in shock, Even Bella the essence of every living dead zombie looked up showing some shock too.

"That's it! I am sending you both back home." Charlie announced. Confusion swept over me, was he getting amnesia…I lived here?

"We are home?" Bella mumbled in confusion.

"I am sending you both to Jacksonville, to live with your mother." He clarified watching our reactions, I watched as Bella's face fell and I don't blame her, after the first week-something we all never spoke about- She had never missed a day of work or school. She hadn't stepped a toe out of line...I on the other hand was a different story. Where Bella did nothing, nothing at all I did everything I shouldn't. Well I'm probably over stating everything, I never missed school it was my activities outside of school which caused problems. I went to a lot of parties, I didn't get into trouble but I came home late that is if I ever came home at all. I think I had a permanent hangover. But I felt it, I felt something and feeling that was better than nothing at all.

"I don't know what's worse, Bella you never _do_ anything that's the problem and Lara…" Charlie's scowl turned into a desperate look.

"I'm fine." I lied with a shrug and drunk some of my coffee, Bella's shoulders sag in probably what was disappointment. All her effort wasted. Bella and I never talked anymore. Not since the first week really, it was selfish but it was just so hard to watch. Each of us a reminder of what we lost. Bella's tone got a little more life in it when he said she should go see a shrink, I didn't even have it in me to laugh.

"I've gotta get to school. Bella you coming?" I asked her, some of the first contact I had had with her in four months except for the usual "Hi" And "Can you pass the salt?" She threw me what could have been a thankful glance but it was…dead. I didn't know what was worse really, Bella was lifeless. I think I'd chose that, at least able to block it out. Let time glide but I wasn't lifeless.

Just numb.

* * *

I sat with Angela and Jessica at lunch. Angela was nice, she didn't push but sometimes she was too…observant. But she never called me out, just sometimes gave me a worrying glace and check if I was ok.

"I'm fine." I must have said it a million time since Ja- he left. And I think she was one of the people who truly wanted an honest answer, unfortunately to tell Angela I wasn't ok was knocking down a wall and letting someone in something I vowed never to do.

But school passed quickly.

"Do you know Bella and I are going to the movies after school?" Jess told me on the way out with a hint of question my eyes widened. I tried to cover my shock.

"Ye, she told me she really needed a girl night." I lied easily and she nodded happy with my answer and launched into another story I really didn't give two shits about. Bella was waiting for me in the truck and we drove home in silence. I was thinking about asking her about the movies with Jess but that would lead to a conversation. Something Bella and I avoided at all costs.

Bella dealed= Do nothing and let time pass you by, hang lightly onto the past.

I dealed=A lot of booze, partying and when it got too hard to forget the past a guy…or two.

Bella had found a way somehow to Charlie off of her back, now I had to get him off of mine. I pulled off my jacket at the door, something Edward and Ja-He where different in leaving was that I had all of my things. But sometimes I wish he would have taken it, taken it with him wherever he was. Searing pain came through my numbness, I squeezed my eyes shut and slammed the iron walls up letting numbness to take over.

"Lara, Bella?" Charlie called when he got in and I looked over my shoulder from the stove and saw him removing his gun.

"Just me dad." I called, he walked in further looking a little shocked.

"Where's Bella?" He asked me and I shrugged in nonchalant.

"Out with Jessica." I told him and he nodded thoughtful. It was quiet only the noise of the flickering flame echoing on the hob.

"You have to stop this behaviour Lara." Charlie told me softly and my stirring slowed and I sighed. I wish I could but I couldn't, I just wanted to feel something. Something without the pain of my memories. An idea struck me and I nodded in answer.

"Your right." I agreed shocking him, he didn't push his look and gave me a smile and went to watch the game until dinner was ready. I tried to make some small talk, Charlie wasn't really the talking guy so it wasn't too unmanageable. Maybe there was another way…

* * *

Bella seemed more...awake. There was something in her eyes that made the change. Determination. I watched her curiously from the sofa. She was a little twitchy like she was hiding something. She put the phone down and I raised an eyebrow at her phone conversation.

Why the sudden interest in Jacob Black?

"I'm going to head down to La Push." Bella told me smiling weakly and I nodded standing up.

"Mind giving me a lift, was heading to La Push today." I told her and she hesitated and then seemed to make up her mind nodding. We made our way to the truck and I noticed a sheet covering something large in the back, it was raining so I didn't dordle.

We started driving down the narrow highway and I cleared my throat.

"So what's under the sheet?" I skipped over the shit and got to the point, she stiffened and then sighed.

"Some bikes, scraps for Jake to fix up…if he will." She told me and I nodded. Huh. Didn't peg her for the thrill type. Seriously I had known her for 18 years, twin and all but even I didn't know that. Maybe it was a new thing.

"Cool." I shrugged and she blinked.

"You won't tell?" She asked a little shocked and I rolled my eyes chuckling at her shock.

"Nah." I told her and she smiled a little in relief and continued driving.

"So ermm, where do you want me to drop you?" She asked and I carried on looking at of the window.

"Paul's." I told her and I saw her turn her head with wide eyes and then it seemed to fade and she just nodded. I gave her directions to his house.

I climbed out and turned to her before she left. "Be careful ye?" I told her and she nodded. She drove away and I walked up the path and began to nod but the door opened before I could answer. Paul came to the door looking a little down the road where Bella had gone, it took me a second but I realised he had heard the truck. He looked tired, his eyes slightly warn but nothing too serious. His cocky smirk plastered on his face and he leaned against the door jamb.

"And what can I do for you Lara?" He asked me innocently and I rolled my eyes laughing a little.

"I was bored, everyone else was busy. Last option and all…" I teased and his eyes narrowed playfully.

"I'm no one's last option." He told me and I nodded.

"I know." I walked a little closer to him, I wasn't touching him but I could feel the heat burning from his body. I wasn't even bothered that he was way warmer than anyone should be I just liked the fact he was hot. No, that wasn't it. I liked that he wasn't cold. He stood up and opened the door wider, tilting his head inviting me inside still smirking.

"You're still cocky." I stated walking into the familiar room. Paul's house wasn't huge up it was fairly big for one on the reservation. He always kept it tidy too, when his Dad left I guess this is all he has left of his mom. He wanted to keep it cared for. I felt heat behind me where Paul was.

"I have a right to be cocky." He teased seductively placing his hand on my hip and pressing alight kiss to my neck as he swept my hair to the side.

"Don't you have a girlfriend?" I asked him not making any move to lean away as he pressed his front to my back.

"Let's just say Sarah and I broke up." He told me, irritated poking through at the sound of her name. I turned around so my chest was against his, well not exactly -he was taller than me but not uncomfortably.

"Let me guess, she wanted you to be the good guy and you don't like playing pretend?" I asked leaning up to close the distance between our lips.

"Something like that." He muttered and I grinned a little inching closer, my bottom lip brushing against his.

"Her loss." I breathed before crushing my lips against his. He gripped me against him roughly. His heat everyone, surrounding me as he pushed me against a wall, lifting my legs so they wrapped around his waist as he carried me across the room pushing me against walls at times to kiss me more deeply, I hung onto him just as enthusiastically. I dragged my nails down his chest making him groan.

I felt something.

He helped me forget the pain.

He helped me forget the past.

He made me feel alive.

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**Sorry about the lack of smut guys, it's only a T so I can't be getting all down and perverse. Oh, Lara and Paul ;) Remember guys this is a Jasper/OC not a Jasper/OC/Paul if you were wondering but Paul plays a large role in New moon, it's not like Bella and Jake. With Paul and Lara its physical, It always was, it doesn't mean he doesn't care about her because he does and she cares about him too but not in the love way. As the story continues it will make sense, I just don't want to give loads away but don't want you all to be like "Bitch this a Jasper/OC get that werewolf away from her" And stuff ;) Review my beautiful people.**

**As you guys guessed** **my music library is all over but my inspiration for this was "Echo" Jason Walker. **

**Please leave a review! :D**


	12. Baby, I'm a fool for you

**Hey everyone! Because your all so damn amazing I have decided to update early.**

**Please leave a review! Lots and lots of love from me! :D**

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**Walking through the halls of high schools is quite similar to walking through a battle field… you are never quite sure what you will find lying around the bend… everyone seems to be thinner, taller, blonder, prettier, and tanner than you… they all seem to be having the time of their lives despite the educational setting… they all seem to have the most friends and the most people to say hello to walking through the halls. Well, life isn't what it seems. Most of those people just surround themselves with others because they are too deathly scared to be alone. They are so scared that they aren't really friends, they just pretend… because without those people they would be nothing. They hurt just like you do. They notice the imperfections in their own faces as well even though your eyes cannot see them. They notice how the girl next to them is taller and thinner… even though you don't. Maybe sometimes it's what you don't see that makes you more alike than you'll ever know.**

'**I love you' means that I accept you for the person that you are, and that I do not wish to change you into someone else. It means that I will love you and stand by you even through the worst of times. It means loving you when you're in a bad mood or too tired to do things I want to do. It means loving you when you're down, not just when you're fun to be with. I love you means that I know your deepest secrets and do not judge you for them, asking in return only that you do not judge me for mine. It means that I care enough to fight for what we have and that I love you enough not to let go. It means thinking of you, dreaming of you, wanting and needing you constantly, hoping you feel the same way for me.**

**I love you because I know you're always there… there to catch me when I fall… there to listen when I need you, there when I feel alone. I love you because you understand me… you know how I feel even when I can't say it… you know I'm not as strong as I say and still you never let me know that I'm not fooling you. I love you because you make me believe, believe that I am not worthless… believe that I can be loved, am loved, and can love others. I love you because you know, you know I feel this way but can't say it and still you wait… letting me take my time to come to terms with the fact that I love you… would give my life up to be with you… and about all… never hurt you… lie to you… or leave you. Now I hope you understand.**

* * *

_**"Baby, I'm a fool for you"**_

It worked. I finally got Charlie off my back and I felt…better.

I didn't feel as numb, the hole that was torn through my chest when Paul was their didn't hurt so much, he didn't fill it but he…I guess distracted me from thinking about it. Giving the allusion it wasn't there. For a while at least.

Bella was…Bella again well a fraction of her which I guess was better than nothing . When she was with Jake she seemed better, I even went to the garage once and helped them with the bikes. Bella and I talked more now, both with distractions able to finally act like normal people.

"Maybe we'll get lucky and run into the bear." Jacob teased Bella, Billy and I laughed at his face.

"She only has to be faster than you Jake." I reminded him making Bella laugh and he rolled his eyes.

"Good luck with that." He retorted rolling up the map, I was going to tack the truck home. I don't hike. No way in hell do I hike thank you very fucking much.

"Lara!" Billy called me back, I turned at the door and walked back to him in his little wheel chair, he was wearing a serious expression but it seemed soft. Oh Jesus…a lecture.

"I heard you have been spending some time with Paul." Billy stated cooly and I raised an eyebrow.

"Well this is going in an interesting direction." I mused making him crack a smile.

"Just be careful, Paul has a temper remember." He reminded me, I searched his eyes that held nothing more than concern for me and I smiled nodding.

"I will." I saw no point in arguing, I would be careful. More than careful and I knew Paul had a temper, he once hit someone for giving him a funny look. The poor guy had a twitch or something. Oh Paul… I climbed into the truck after saying my goodbye's and began to drive home.

"Will you come with me somewhere?" Bella asked after she came into my room later that day and I hesitated and then nodded, I hadn't heard from Paul since what happened at Jake's it didn't bother me much but I could do with a distraction.

* * *

That was how I ended up climbing through a thick jungle in search for some field or something…Ok maybe I'm being a tiny bit over dramatic but it was far, like 5 miles and was cold and wet and….it was just bad ok.

Bella did something now and again; she wrapped her arms around herself to hold herself together. Like a whole was being carved in her chest. I didn't have that; I didn't have, well…anything. I don't think about him, I can't. Feeling something is a mission these days but if I thought of him I'm afraid of what I could feel.

Bella froze slightly when we stepped out of the trees into a small meadow. This must be it. Disappointment flashed through her body maybe this wasn't the place. She whimpered under her breathe. I turned to try and give her the little comfort I could offer but she gasped and her eyes widen. I turned to her line of vision.

"Laurent." Bella breathed, she sounded relived?! What the fuck! VAMPIRE! I studied him for a little, My breathe caught a little at his pure skin, Laurent looked nothing like Ja-him but it still burned. I chocked down a laugh, I got what I wanted. I wanted to feel…I got my wish. The burning in my chest became overwhelming I could barely hear the conversation.

"Jasper had problems with that too…" Bella told him and I stiffened, his name I hadn't uttered of heard for five months ripped threw me like a bag of knifes and it was something that Laurent didn't miss. Bella tried to talk to out of this as he stepped forward seductively. All my instincts screamed for me to run, run and don't stop until I reach the boarders, and hell then swim to frigin Japan.

"Victoria blames the two of you, you see. Bella more than you of course Lara- Edward being the one that killed her mate. She will very put out that I killed you." He stated with a sigh as if it was a casual thing. My heart beat exploded.

We stepped back, well I grabbed a frozen Bella and forced her to stumble back a few seconds but he was faster. He flashed in front of me and leaned down the my neck. I stiffened completely. My breathing stopping. Bella gripped on to my hand so tightly she almost broke it. I wanted to tell her to run but I couldn't speak, he lowered his head to brush his nose over my neck inhaling deeply.

"You're mouth-watering." He purred. I squeezed my eyes shut waiting, my walls crashing down. Jasper. Jasper Jasper. Jasper Jasper. Jasper Jasper. Jasper Jasper. Jasper . _I love you Jasper. _

After a moment my eyes fluttered open. Laurent's head snapped to the right and he span around at a frightening speed.

"Lara!" Bella whispered frantically as she grabbed me, I released a breath. Adrenaline coursing through my veins.

"I don't believe it…" Laurent muttered, he was backing away slowly to the forest and then I saw it. A huge black wolf, horse size but more muscular stalking towards the vampire. It snarled loudly, thunder banging through the field. Why was a vampire afraid of the beat, granted it was huge and its teeth seemed well…kind of mean but he was a vampire. As in answer to my question the wolf was suddenly not alone, it was flanked by four more huge wolves, a grey one that came from the side of me, a reddish brown one, a brown one and another brown one.

"You just can't make this shit up…" I muttered out loud and Bella gasped.

Laurent continued to back away, he didn't look at me as he said, "You truly are the most mouth-watering creature I have met Lara, It' a shame Jasper didn't realise soon enough." He called slightly higher than his normal voice. I froze as did Bella but it didn't last long. The grey wolf snarled, Laurent took that as the last straw and ran. The wolves chased him through the forest and Bella collapsed on the ground sobs building in her throat. I helped pull her onto her feet in my daze. We ran through the forest.

* * *

"I'm worried about Jacob." Bella stated and I raised an eyebrow and turned my head to look up, I was curled up at the end of the couch with my sketch book propped up on my legs. I don't know what made me pick it up, I saw it lying on my desk, a slight sheet of dust covering the purple leather and it made me think. It was something from before Ja-him. Something I did before I came to Forks, A distraction.

Not only from that but our impending doom. Victoria was looking for us, it wouldn't take long for Laurent to reach Victoria. We might as well try and pretend everything is ok.

"Worried?" I asked her, she was curled up also but in more of a ball shape, hugging her arms around her legs. Jake had been sick for a few days now, he hadn't called. I tried calling Paul yesterday and he didn't answer. I didn't try again though, hence the sketch pad for a distraction. I could feel myself numbing again. Fading, I clawed my way through it and sketching helped. I shaded in the dark material looking down again waiting for my sister's answer.

"Do you think I should go down their?" She asked and I hesitated and sighed a little putting down the pencil.

"Billy says he has mono but it's not contagious so I can't see the harm. Anyway I'm sure he'd like to see you." I told her as nicely as I could manage and she smiled a tiny bit, a little light in her hollow eyes. She jumped up and walked into the kitchen and tried calling again.

I rubbed my finger across a section of my drawing, and I heard Bella's dull voice. "Oh…I didn't realise he was ok…Bye billy."

She sat down, a haunting hollow look in her eyes. I shook my head closing my sketch pad placing it on the side table.

"Let's go." I said grabbing my jacket, she blinked confused. "We're going to figure out what is really going on with Jake." I told her and she nodded jumping up of the couch following me. We walked out of the door leaving my sketch of a broken Bella behind.

We pulled up outside of the black residence and I felt my jaw drop. Holy moth-

Bella slammed the door of the truck, storming over to a very gorgeous Jacob black. I sighed and climbed out too. I jumped onto the hood of the truck and watched the scene unfold. Out of the corner of my eye well across the land I saw a group of hot shirtless guys.

Paul?

I recognised a few of them Embry Call, Sam Uley, Paul of course and there was another one I just couldn't think of his name. James, Jar-something or other.

"Go home Bella." Jake told her sternly and jogged to meet up with the group, they were too far away for me to see there facial expressions. I jogged over to Bella grabbing her arm and pulling her across the field. She was breaking and I couldn't fix her.

I couldn't fix _me_…

The rain began to pour when I closed the door to Bella's truck and called Jake's name. He stormed over to me shaking slight.

"What do you want Lara." He spat and my shoulders tensed and I shoved him a little it barely moved him. He stopped shaking in shock.

"Do I fucking look like Bella to you? Grow the fuck up Jake, what the hell is your problem?" I asked him and his jaw locked.

"You really want to know?" He drew out his words, something flashing in his eyes. He was angry, furious in fact but there was a slight smugness in there.

"Yes." I nodded.

"You want someone to blame, how about those filthy bloodsuckers you both love so much." His voice was harsh and I froze…bloodsuckers.

"I don't know what you're talking about." I told him through my closed jaw ignoring the need to wince at the name.

"You no exactly what I'm talking about." He stated, we were close to each other now. Eye to eye. "I can see it in your eyes; it hurts you just as much as Bella. Your just better at hiding you're emotions, you always have been." Jake continued. I just stood there, refusing to give him a reaction.

"You're just as bad as Edward." I told him and watched him flinch; the horror in his eyes gave me satisfaction, he wanted me to hurt. He blamed the Cullen's and he was angry. My words hurt him not as much as his hurt me.

"She's better than you, always had been Jake and always will be. So congratulations you officially broke her. Not that you had much of a chance with her anyway…" I reached up to pat his shoulder, his face held agony but I didn't care. I was beyond caring, my sister was hurting. She did nothing…nothing to deserve this. Neither of us did. I turned my back and walked back, Jake was still unmoving.

"See ya later Jake!" I called in a mock friendly voice before climbing in the truck and reversing not looking back.

"Thank you." Bella murmured and I turned to her quickly not wanting to crash.

"For what?" I asked a little lost in my brains haze, my anger wearing off.

"For what you said…" She said quietly and I nodded and sighed. We were a pair alright.

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**Ouch, Lara defending Bella in this chapter! The girls find out about the wolves next chapter! YAAAAAA! :D**


	13. Save me from myself

**Hey everyone...so ive had a really, really, really bad day. So I decided to lose myself in this little world you and I have created and post another chapter :D Please leave a review I love reading them, Especially ones that mean something or that are reall funny!**

**Madamfruitcake- hmmm what an excellent question my fellow English friend. I shall ask jasper when he returns :D**

**Please review! It gives me inspiration and something to work with.**

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**Life is for having fun. Don't be stupid and waste it on some guy/girl who is gonna act like he/she hates you tomorrow. Never waste it on some one who doesn't want their friends to know they're in love with you. Don't give that person the rest of you tears or a month or a year of your life when he/she treats you badly and doesn't mind to make you cry. Every person deserves some one who wants to brag about them. Every person deserves some one who makes them smile and laugh at their worst moments. We all deserve at least that.**

**I love how you hold me. I love how you tell me I'm beautiful. I love how you look at me funny when I say something stupid. I love how you make me happy. I love how you smile when I see you. I love how you laugh when I say something random, or stupid. I love the face you make when I snort when I laugh. I love how you ask me if I'm alright when I cant stop laughing. I love how you make me feel. I love how you tell me I look cute. I love how you like my pajamas. I love how you talk about music for hours. I love how you say sweet things to me. I love how you whisper in my ear when it's really quiet. I love how you squeeze me so hard when I hug you. I love how I can talk to you for hours about anything, and you listen, and I listen. I love how we call each other as soon as we wake up. I love how you sound when I wake you up. I love how my dog has more sex with you than I do, just kidding. I love how you want to spend every day with me. I love how you squeeze my hand. I love how you rub my back, and kiss my neck. I love how you lay next to me, and tell me that everything's perfect. I love how everything is perfect. I love how you see the person I really am. I love how you say we are perfect for each other. I love how you make me cry, but not because I'm upset or sad, or you hurt me, but because you made me the happiest person ever. I love how I wake up in the morning for you. I love how I anticipate seeing you. I love how you kiss me. I love how I look at the empty space in my bed, and wish you were filling it. I love how I get nervous when I see you, but feel more comfortable with you than I do with anyone else. I love how my parents love you. I love how you deal with my picky eating habits. I love how you worry about me, and take care of me. I love how you pay for me when we go places. I love how you insist everything will be alright, and make me feel at ease. I love how you keep me warm when I'm cold. I love how you give me weird looks at awkward moments. I love how you stop everything for me. I love how I'm important to you. I love how I make you happy. I love how you make me happy. I love how you make sure I stay in line. I love how I only want to be with you. I love how I only think about you. I love how I stop everything because I get distracted and have to call you. I love how you get jealous. I love how you are when you are with your family. I love being with your family. I love how I can see myself with you forever. I love how we talk about being together forever. I love how you think I have cute feet. I love how you tickle me. I love how you get mad when someone says something to upset me. I love everything about you.**

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**_Save me from myself'_**

Bella was a fidgeting mess this morning. It was driving me through the wall, Paul had called this morning but I couldn't make myself pick up the phone. Maybe today, jut today I'd let the numbness take me.

"Bella. Spit it out or sit the fuck still." I breathed and I watched her lips twitch and then she exploded.

"Jacob morphs into a huge dog!"

The room was silent for a little while, Bella and stopped fidgeting and waited for my reaction. I let out a deep breath and stood up slowly.

"I'm going to need more coffee…" I muttered walking to the kettle.

* * *

"I'm sorry." Jacob told me and I blinked and then smiled a little.

"Me too." I agreed, what I said wasn't true. Jake was good enough for Bell's. We were on out way to meet up with the pack because we knew a bunch of shit that would help. Paul being Paul saw Bella and then exploded without any questions as per usual, that's why we were sitting at Emily's waiting for them to come back. Jacob phased I think that's what they called it.

"How are you Lara?" Emily asked me, I didn't know Emily very well but she was nice but if I was being honest I'm team Leah but I had a feeling that this story was not black or white. The scars on Emily's face as evidence of this, I didn't notice them really. She was still pretty. I shrugged when everyone turned to look up at me. Jared that was his name…

"I'm fine." I lied, she smiled when I asked her the question back and pulled more muffins from the kitchen.

"I'm great, I'm engaged…" She supplied a little bit of conversation but Sam came in and ermm…distracted her. It hurt to watch, I looked away as Bella did, and subtly sending her a small smile Jake and Paul crashed through the door.

"Hey there." Paul winked at me and I rolled my eyes. Bella laughed a little under her breath.

"You're so weird." I commented, everyone looked up at me with expressions that read "You werent saying that last night' I shrugged unbothered by the disapproving look I was getting from my sister.

"I said weird, not ugly." I stated making everyone laughed, Paul just smirked and shoved a muffin in his mouth. Jake shook his head at me with a small smile and I winked at him making him laugh a little.

"Jacob has information for us, well the girls do." Sam stated and everyone straightened up turning their heads to look at us and I cleared my throat.

"Take it away Bells." I told her uncomfortable with the spot light, well more like the pressuring stares. Jake rolled his eyes and took the lead.

"The red headed leech is trying to avenge her mate but it's not the black-haired leach we killed. The Cullen's got their mate last year." I saw Bella shudder from the side of me, it wasn't new news but it was still terrifying.

Everyone stared at us with their mouths open. I leaned against the wall and closed my eyes.

"Bitches be crazy." I stated, I opened my eyes and everyone burst into laughter at my ice breaker. Sam dived into a new plan to catch Victoria and I shuddered at the thought, I looked a little at Paul. I didn't love Paul and I never would but I cared. I didn't care about much but I did care about him and I didn't want him hurt.

"Do you girls know if lee-the red headed female has any gifts?" Sam asked and I thought for a moment, Bella shifted uncomfortably.

"Not that I know of but Ed- ermm the Cullen's mentioned that she was very…tactical. She helped James track his victims." I told them and they frowned.

"So it's true, they do have powers." Embry mused and I nodded. Bella froze completely, I shot her a worried look. Emily looked concerned too.

"Kitchen." I mouthed to Emily who nodded subtly.

"Bella would you help me get the cookies…" Emily said and Bella nodded and they headed to the kitchen. It was silent for a second. I cleared my throat.

"Edward can read minds, Alice can see the future and ermm J-jasper can control your emotions." I managed to say with minimum stutter. Sam nodded and I followed the girls into the Kitchen, now I know why Bella kept her arms around her chest.

It was like my heart was being ripped out.

* * *

Bella and I spent the majority of spring break down in La Push, Paul was off patrol once this holiday so I stayed at his that day but the rest we mostly invaded Billy's space which made both of us feel uncomfortable, everything seemed to be going fine. Constant, they kept chasing Victoria away from the boarder, Paul told me she just kept slipping through their lines. As if she knew exactly where they were.

I tried not to think about the danger the pack was in, I was in no position to loose someone else-Would fate really steal from me the only things I had left?

No. Nothing would happen to them. I had to believe that or I wouldn't be able to function.

A large bang at the door made me jump; Emily and I rushed over panic in our faces. Was one of them hurt?

Sam and Paul were waiting restlessly, Sam pulled Emily into his arms straight away, I walked over to a stone figured Paul and wrapped me arms around his neck a few seconds later he relaxed and returned it.

"Harry Clearwater had a heart attack." He breathed and I tensed and leaned back, I turned in shock to Emily who had tears streaming down her face at the thought of her uncle.

"Let's go." Sam murmured to Emily and Paul nodded. I had to turn away from Sam and Emily, the agony in Sam's eyes when he saw the tears streaming down Emily's face was heart wrenching. He looked as if he would give his life just to stop the tears.

"Where's Bella?" I asked as Paul pulled me to his truck, I noticed that we weren't going with Emily and Sam and he growled lowly making me lean a little away in shock. He turned to me shaking and caught the look on my face. The shock and maybe some fear and calmed himself down as he started the car.

"Paul?" I asked in a slightly demanding voice and he let out a raspy breath.

"Your fucking sister decided it was a good idea to cliff diving in a hurricane." He told me and my eyes widened and I sat completely upright. Was she ok, oh my god she was…?

"She's fine, Jake pulled her out and he's taken her back to the house but he doesn't want to leave her alone and we need to get to the hospital so I'm taking you home." He informed me and I nodded. I wanted to see if she was ok.

We pulled up a few minutes later and I kissed Paul on the cheek and opened the door. I got out and was shocked to see Jacob jogging or running down the street.

Paul snarled loudly and I whirled around in shock why was Jake coming back and why was Paul shaking.

"Get in the truck Lara." Paul ordered and I shook my head.

"What the hell is going on?" I demanded.

"There's a fucking vampire in that house." Paul stated and I froze up and began to run into the house, Jake had gone into the house so it was just me and Paul.

"Are you crazy! Get in the fucking truck!" He yelled shaking walking towards me.

"Bella's in there Paul!" I yelled back and he growled lowly.

"Fine. Try not to fucking DIE!" He slammed the door to truck, climbing in and driving away. I stood for half a second in shock, if he was so worried about me dying why would he just drive away?!

Reality snapped back and I rushed into the house. The door slammed against the wall.

"Bella!" I called and I heard Jake's voice I nearly slammed into his back, he would let me around him in fact, pushing me behind him.

"I'm not going to hurt her." I heard a voice that I never thought I would hear again. My entire body exploded. Alice Cullen.

"Let her go Jake." Bella ordered, Jake growled but let me by. Bella had tears marks streaming down her face, she looked a mess. Alice looked well…the same. Except her eyes were a dark shade. But her dark pixie haircut and white skin burned into me.

"Can I talk to you for a minute Bella?" Jake spat and Bella nodded turning to Alice who smiled at her reassuringly promising she wouldn't leave.

Alice pulled me into a tight hug, after a second I hugged her tiny frame back. She pulled back quickly to give me a disapproving look pulling me to sit down on the couch with her. She studied me and the sighed.

"A werewolf really?" She asked me and I groaned leaning into the couch. I was being lectured by a vampire…You just can't make this shit up.

"Jake is my friend." I told her, and it was true. She saw right through me.

"I heard you arguing with another outside, I know when Jasper left it hurt you but…" She started and cut off when I gave her a dark look.

"He left _me_ Alice not the other way around. And I'm not dating Paul." I told her and sadness flashed through her eyes and she shook her head.

"But you ermm…sleeping with him?" She asked me outwardly, Alice didn't really have a valve as you can see and I sighed and tucked my legs under myself and shrugged.

So what if I was?

"Those boys I swear…" She muttered, I was about to ask her what she meant when she froze and got one of her dazed stares. It clicked in my mind what was happening. She was having a vision.

"No, no he can't…" She looked panicked, She was gone in half a second and I was left to stare at an empty space.

"Alice!" I called rushing after her…What was going on?!

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**Oh deary, deary me! Shit is going down! I repeat SHIT IS GOING DONW!**

**Review pretty please, gotta love review my beautiful people.!**

**Please leave a review! Lots and lots of love from me! :D**


	14. Take everything I have

**Aw you guys are absolutly amazing! Review please and check out my other work. This chapter was inspired by The Gods Of Macho - Black Iron Lung :D  
Please all keep reviewing there wasnt as many as usual last chapter, hence the kinda late chapter. I kinda lose a little inspiration, please review! Lots of love to those who reviewed and read as well. Also you guys who fravorite! :D**

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**I believe that we are who we choose to be. Nobody's going to come and save you, you've got to save yourself. Nobody's going to give you anything. You've got to go out and fight for it. Nobody knows what you want except for you. And nobody will be as sorry as you if you don't get it. So don't give up on your dreams.**

**We've all been lost for most of this life  
Everywhere we turn more hatred surrounds us  
And I know that most of us just ain't right  
Following the wrong steps being led by pride  
-avenged seven hold**

**Here's to the kids. The kids who would rather spend their night with a bottle of coke and Patrick or Sonny playing on their headphones than go to some vomit-stained high school party. Here's to the kids whose 11:11 wish was wasted on one person who will never be there for them. Here's to the kids whose idea of a good night is sitting on the hood of a car, watching the stars. Here's to the kids who were never too good at life, but still were wicked cool. Here's to the kids who listened to Fall Out Boy and Hawthorne Heights before they were on MTV and blame MTV for ruining their life. Here's to the kids who care more about the music than the haircuts. **

**Here's to the kids who have crushes on a stupid lush. here's to the kids who hum "a little less 16 candles, a little more touch me" when they're stuck home, dateless, on a Saturday night. Here's to the kids who have ever had a broken heart from someone who didn't even know they existed. Here's to the kids who have read The Perks of Being a Wallflower and didn't feel so alone after doing so. Here's to the kids who spend their days in photo booths with their best friends. **

**Here's to the kids who are straight up smartasses and just don't care. Here's to the kids who speak their mind. Here's to the kids who consider screamo their lullaby for going to sleep. Here's to the kids who second guess themselves on everything they do. Here's to the kids who will never have 100 percent confidence in anything they do, and to the kids that are okay with that. Here's to the kids. This one's not for the kids who always get what they want, but for the ones who never had it at all. It's not for the ones who never get caught, but for the ones who always try and fail. This one's for the kids who didn't make it, we were the kids who never made it. The overcast girls and the underdog boys. not for the kids who had all their joys. This one's for the kids who never faked it. We're the kids who didn't make it. they say "breaking hearts is what we do best," and "we'll make your heart be ripped out of your chest." the only heart that I broke was mine, when I got my hopes up too high. We were the kids who didn't make it. We are the kids  
who never made it.**

* * *

_**"Take everything I have."**_

"Please Bella. Stay for Charlie…For me." Jacob pleaded as he leaned in through the driver's window. I sat in the back watching the exchange but not really seeing it. Edward was going to the volturi which were a powerful family or something so they would kill him, he thought Bella was dead which was why I was sat in a car with Alice and Bella going to Italy to save him.

"I have to Jake…" Bella's voice broke. Alice revved the engine impatiently.

"Lara…" Jake tried and I gave him a desperate look. Desperate to make him understand, if Edward died then Bella would, maybe not physically but maybe that was worse….she was all I had left.

"Goodbye Jake." Bella chocked and Alice hit the medal and we raced down the road at a blinding speed.

We made out flight with seconds to spare and then the true torture began, waiting. Edward and I were never close and in all honesty I was doing this for my sister more than him. He broke her, smashed her up but she loved him. It was something Bella and I had very much in common.

We loved the wrong things, completely and irrevocably.

* * *

Bella was jumping up and down in her seat, Alice sat in the middle of the three seaters, it was one of those 3 seats on the left and two on the right things.

Alice pulled out her phone I noticed from the corner of my eyes, I almost laughed at the expression that Bella pulled at the air hostess, it was quite frightening.

I wasn't really listening to Alice but I heard something's, I assumed she was talking to Derek.

"No you can't." Her voice dropped so low, it perked my interest so I listened harder. "Tell Emmett, Rose and Jasper not to come…well go after them and bring them back. Think about, what will he do if they see any of us…?" She nodded, seeming not to notice my wince at Japer's name. I figured it was probably best to think his name, it didn't hurt any less but at least I felt something, if I was going to die I might as well go down swinging…She nodded quickly. "Exactly…" She sighed loudly listening to Derek down the line. "Don't let him come… If anything happen to her Derek, Jasper will…Yes…He'll lose Derek. I'll make sure nothing happens to her…I love you too, don't follow me…I'll get out I promise, I love you." She put the phone down, I couldn't even make myself process the one sided conversation. All the answer to my questions where on the other side of the phone.

"What is going on, why can't they come. I don't understand this Alice." Bella demanded frantically and Alice sighed.

"We could go after him, if Emmett could get his hands on him then we could stop him long enough to convince him and prove to him that you're not dead but if he sees us he'll rush into it, by throwing a car or something."

"Which of course leads to the second reason, the reason I couldn't say to Jasper. Because if they're there and they kill Edward, they fight them Bella." Alice told her, her eyes beseeching. I had angled myself so my back was against the window and my legs curled under me on the seat. "If there was any way we could win, if we could save my brother by fighting for him Bella…we would, but we can't. I can't lose Derek like that, please understand." She pleaded, I understood her immediately. I saw realisation hit Bella, Alice was protecting Derek at our expense and I would do it…I couldn't let Jasper die. I wouldn't. I realised I was giving Bella the same pleading stare when she looked at me. She nodded in acceptence.

Alice explained to us what the volturi was, I didn't speak at all, I saw no point to it. What could I say to comfort my sister…if it was Jasper- I flinched at the pain looking out of the plane window subtly so I could hide the pain of that thought.

I couldn't anticipate seeing him again either, I don't think I could go through that. Seeing him again and then losing him would be…excruciating.

"If he sticks to his latest choice we'll make it." Alice told us, as we raced down the back streets of Italy.

"What's his plan?" Bella demanded as Alice weaved in and out of cars.

"He's going to wait, until noon. He's leaning towards melodramatic so he wants the biggest audience so he'll step out under the clock tower." Alice told her, I was beginning to wonder how the hell my presence was going to help.

* * *

Alice bribed our way in through Volterra.

"They're everywhere!" Alice hissed and then Bella froze.

"Run Bella, you have two minutes!" Alice hissed and Bella ran as fast as she could through the streets.

Alice shot me a panicked look, finally able to show some fear in losing her brother.

"She's save him Alice." I told her with more confidence than I felt. "She has too…" I muttered as we continued to make out way through the city. Alice pulled up the car at the back of the city, We jumped out quickly, I ran to keep up with Alice as we stuck to the shadows, we heard the clock tower bell go off and Alice froze and then seemed to melt and she grinned.

"She did it!" She cheered and dragged me through the city. Before we reached the clock tower she stopped to give me a worried look.

"Are you sure you want to go in there…" She asked me and I know what she was really asking, if I went in there after my sister I may not come out and I nodded. "Stay near me, If we survive his Jasper is going to kill me…" I heard her mutter lowly but before we could comment we slipped in through the door.

Two vampires in long cloaks were stood in front of Edward and Bella, he was holding her behind him protectively. When we care through the door they tensed, they seemed not to like that they were outnumbered.

"Let's behave ourselves. There are ladies present." Alice stated, The tallest guy was the size of Emmet, taller in fact. He grinned at me winking and I automatically rolled my eyes. He blinked in shock and if it was possible his grin widened.

"Lets' discuss this more privately." The smaller one added, And then suddenly he grinned. Edwards jaw snapped shut audibly.

"Enough." A reedy voice called. Everyone relaxed their stances. However Edward's in defeat, how can one small girl strike fear in everyone.

"Jane." Edward recognised, his voice hard.

"Come." She ordered turning away and leading everyone expecting them to follow. Felix gestured me to go first and I raised an eyebrow. Alice hissed a little and pulled me to her side leading me though the hall.

We made our way through the hall and came to a grate. Alice jumped through lightly.

"You've got to be fucking joking…" I muttered making Felix chuckle from behind me.

"Feisty, I like it." He muttered and I stepped closer to the grate.

"Ok, feeling better about jumping now." I told a smirking Edward.

"Alice will catch you." He reassured me.

"The things I do for you Edward Cullen." I sighed before closing my eyes and jumping. Alice kept her promise, I probably had bruiser where she caught. Her stone arms placed me lightly on the ground. Bella jumped and then Edward followed swiftly after her. I heard the sound of Felix's feet and Demetri's feet hit the ground as we followed the narrow corridor.

We came into a softly lighted room, in the middle of the room covered in vases and flowers and paintings was a mahogany desk. Seated there was a…human? A receptionist…oh dear god.

"Gianna." Jane acknowledged. She walked in front, followed by Edward and Bella and then Alice and I. Behind us was Demetri and Felix. I turned to this Gianna and I saw her giggle and Felix and I scoffed.

"Jealous?" Felix purred and I rolled my eyes, not turning around.

"You caught me." I muttered sarcastically making him chuckle, even Demetri thought it was funny. Alice kept an arm around me. I didn't look at Edward and Bella, afraid that it would hurt. Yes. I was that selfish. I was overjoyed Bella had saved Edward but how long would it last? I was blindly confused by the way Edward looked at Bella, he left her and said he didn't love her and yet he's looking at her with such adoration it burned through me? I decided it was relief, relief and guilt release.

We finally reached a huge doorway; Jane opened the doors leading us into the room which held a handful of glorious immortals, three of them on what looked like thrones.

The middle stepped forward with a friendly smile that freaked me out more than if he was baring his ermm...fangs?

"Jane my dear you have returned!" He rejoiced, he stepped forward to kiss her of her cheek. He looked more fragile, more chalky than Edward or Alice. He glided his way back and I saw Jane smile widely.

"Yes master Aro, I brought them all back alive as you asked." She smiled like a child about to get a golden star, it was weird.

Aro looked like he was going to piss himself, he turned to me and his smile widened if that was possible.

"And Lara too!" He cheered, I froze a little. How did Creepy fangs know my name?

"Let's have the story!" He sang and Edward stepped forward, Pushing Bella lightly toward me near Alice and gave his palm to Aro.

"He can read every thought I have ever had…" Edward explained to us. The exchanged worse for a while and I didn't hear it, I tuned in again soon enough.

"They both smell quite delicious but Lara your smell is…mouth-watering but not edible." He mused and I froze.

"Ye it's an off day when I don't get people telling me how edible I taste." I told him and he laughed loudly, I heard Felix laugh from near the door as some of the other vampires. Bella sent me a wide eyed look, we were going to die either way. Might as well go down dancing on the burning decks.

"I wonder Bella if you are immune to Jane's gift?" Aro wondered after she had passed his own test. My eyes widened in horror as I saw Edward dive in front of her and collapse to the floor in agony. Jane ripped her eyes away from him and stared at Bella, I saw Edwards gaze from the floor blend into relief and jump up surrendering Bella to him.

I was crossing my fingers hoping she wouldn't test her power out on me.

"What to do with you now…" Aro mused and we all tensed, this is what we had been waiting for.

"You still won't consider joining us, Edward? Alice?" He asked and they politely declined and he pouted and then with a thoughtful look turned to me and my sister.

"And you Bella? Lara?" He asked and I blinked. Say what?

"What?" The white haired Caius demanded.

"Oh surely you can see the potential of them as vampire's my dear Caius." Aro chimed and Caius frowned looking at me.

"She has no gift." He told me distastefully. Ermm….ouch? Aro smiled as anticipating this reaction.

"Ah but it seems Felix has taken a liking to the young girl." He mused, Edward snarled protectively at Felix who grinned winking at me.

"I'm good, thanks." I told him, he didn't look put out but even more excited with the challenge.

"No thank you." Bella whispered lightly.

"Such a waste…"Aro sighed.

"What if I meant it?" Edward asked him quickly and yet carefully.

"Then you would be free to go, but I'm afraid you would have to mean it." Aro told him and Edward's lips tightened; Alice stepped out with her raised hand. She didn't say anything when she placed her hand in Aro's.

He laughed loudly after a few agonising seconds.

"Amazing, to see what you have seen…"

"But that will." Alice stated surely and he nodded.

"Yes, it is quite determined." He nodded and then smiled at us.

"You are all free to go." He told us with a smile wishing us to send on our condolences to Carlisle much to Caius distaste. Felix groaned.

Aro smiled fondly. "You have eternity Felix; maybe she will change her mind." He offered, smiling at me lightly.

"I would rather poke out my eyes." I stated to a smirking Felix, He rolled his eyes at the comment it didn't bother him in the slightest.

"I wouldn't bet on it Felix." Edward told him, Felix's eyes narrowed a little.

"See you so my young friends." Aro called, after giving Edward a cloak.

"Let's go." Edward said in a more urgent tone, we followed Demetri.

"See you soon gorgeous." Felix muttered to me winking passing me, I fake gagged, the door closed behind us but I heard his deep laughter.

Alice pulled me along with her quickly as did Edward with Bella. I realised why after the beautiful woman passed us with a group of people.

As we walked quickly we went through a door but it still didn't muffle the screams.

* * *

We sat on the plane; I laid my head lightly on the head rest. I sat next to Alice as she muttered to Derek on the phone, before my eyes lids fluttered closed I saw Bella buy a coke. Jesus Christ we were going to have a caffeine maniac on my hands. When I closed my eyes it was too frightening. I forced them open subduing a yawn and pulled out my phone. I hadn't checked it since we left Forks. It read _87 missed calls and 52 messages._

The calls were evenly split from Paul and my Dad and I sighed, I had a few messages Jake but the majority of my messages where from Paul and a few from the other guys. I held my finger on the dial button for Paul and then turned my phone off. I would deal with him tomorrow.

"Are you ok Lara?" Alice asked me again for the tenth time and I nodded with a small smile.

"I'm fine." I lied, leaning back against my seat.

"You ok Bell's?" I whispered as many people on the plane were asleep but I knew she could hear me from where she was laid in Edwards arms, my eyes were closed an excuse not to look at them.

"I'm ok." I knew it wasn't a lie, she was truly ok. For the first time in six months she was ok. "Are you ok?" She asked me and the edges of my lips twitched a little at her freaked out tone, I recognised she was talking about Felix's obvious interest. He was gorgeous but…

But…

Well, he wasn't Jasper.

"I'm good." I told her and she nodded absent-mindedly.

But what I wasn't prepared for was the reception waiting for us at the airport.

* * *

**I KNOW! Another cliff hanger, I'm an asshole! ;)** **JASPER IS COMING BACK NEXT CHAPTER! Oh how I have missed him, Let's see what he has to say and how Lara reacts shall we? ;)**

**Please leave a review, A smiley face will do. Just something that tells me you want me to write the Eclispe segment or just end it in New Moon? :D**


	15. EVERYTHINGS BORING AND EVERYONE'S A LIAR

**I can always depend all of you to cheer me up! Damn god , y'all are amazing! Twenty reviews in one chapter that just Plain amazing. Jasper is back, I repet jasper is back! Yaaaaa. So I'm guessing you all want me to do eclispe. What am I to deny you amazing people. I have a good Idea where the story is going and I'm pretty sure you'll love it! **

**Thanks to my amazing beta! **

**28 FUCKING REVIEWS IN ONE CHAPTER! OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOOOOD! I'm powering this chapter out right now because of all you amazing people! Please leave a review! :D**

**Please leave a review love hearing from every single one of you!**

* * *

**i was never one to patiently pick up broken fragments, glue them together again, and tell myself that the mending whole was good as new. What's broken is broken – and I'd rather remember it as it was at its best than mend it and see the broken places as long as I lived.**

**He smiled and as he did it, she was filled with a sudden triumph and a great ecstasy, for she knew then, that he was hers, and she loved him, and it was something she had known from the very beginning. She had known that this thing was to happen, that nothing could prevent it; she was part of his body and part of his mind, they belonged to each other, both wanderers, both fugitives, cast in the same mold.**

**As we grow up, we learn that the one person who wasn't supposed to let you down probably will. You will have your heart broken, probably more than once, and it's never easier the second time around. You'll break hearts too, so remember how it felt when yours was broken. You'll fight with your best friend, and may even fall in love with them. You'll blame a new love for things an old one did. You'll cry cause time is passing too fast. You'll eventually lose someone you love. Life is short, so take too many pictures, laugh way too much, kiss way too slow, cry way too hard, and love everyone.**

**Do you want to know what my problem is? I will tell you what my problem is, I LOVE YOU I love your name, I love the way you look at me, I love your gorgeous smile, I love the way you walk, I love your beautiful eyes, I love what you look like when you are asleep, I love the sound of your laugh, to hear your voice fills my entire heart with an indescribable feeling. I love the way I can be having the worst day of my life and seeing you completely changes my mood. I love how when you touch me I get weak, that is my problem…**

* * *

**"EVERYTHINGS BORING AND EVERYONE'S A FUCKING LIAR"**

When we stepped off the plane, I wasn't at all prepared for the reception awaiting us. The first one I saw was Derek, he didn't seem to see any of us at all. He only had eyes for Alice. She went straight to his side and into his loving embrace. It wasn't as public as others were, but that made it more affectionate. It made me look away, not only from the burning, but the privacy of the moment.

Edward pulled Bella towards an awaiting Carlisle and Esme who were standing by the pillar in a far corner, I made my way to follow, but before I took one step, my path was blocked.

I looked up and my breath didn't even get caught-it vanished. It was like all the air in the room disappeared. I could feel the chill of his body coming off him. Our chests didn't touch, but it was close. His black eyes were wild; the purple bruises under his eyes were defined. His eyes searched every part of my face. His beauty burned me. My emotions hit me at full force. The hurt was there but something else seemed to be more prominent. Relief, relief that the other half of my soul was here. My lips were parted in the shock.

Jasper.

I let out a deep breath for what felt like the first time in six months. I blinked. Six months. Six months ago he left me. He didn't want me. He didn't love me. I took a step back, I saw his frame stiffen. His eyes became beseeching, begging. But for what, I don't know. I slammed my walls up and side stepped his. He was frozen. He didn't even move as I walked around him and went to find my sister. I didn't look back, the urge to run to him was over whelming but I wasn't going to run to someone who wouldn't catch me. I couldn't hear he didn't want me again.

I would shatter.

Esme pulled me into a tight hug, she kept an arm around me as we walked to the car park. I was air borne when we reached the cars.

"LARA!" Emmet bellowed and I laughed and hugged him back. He placed me onto my feet; I was then ripped from him and into Rosalie arms into a tight embrace.

"I'm so sorry." She whispered and I hugged her as tightly as I could.

"It wasn't your fault Rose." I told her, I knew Edward was going to make her feel as bad as possible and in the end, it wasn't Rose's fault, it was Edward's and Bella's. Bella jumped off the cliff, but Edward left, causing her to do it. Not Rose. Bella was fading fast, her eye lids drooping. Jasper was there, I could feel it. I hated how my entire body responded to him.

"We need to get you to bed Bella, You don't want to pass out and die." I told her and Rose coughed hiding her laughter, Bella shoved her middle finger up at me making everyone blink in shock, Edward had his mouth hanging open.

"That's the last day you spend with Paul…" I mutter and I heard Bella snort lightly in laughter. A low rumble came from behind me but I paid no attention to it, I refused to. I was barely keeping it together as it was a slice of emotion and I was a goner.

Alice and Derek were in one car, Rosalie and Emmet in another and it seemed Esme and Carlisle came in a separate one too.

"Let Rosalie make amends, Lara and Jasper can ride with us." Esme told him, his jaw locked but he didn't argue. Panic sliced through me but it faded quickly, maybe I should just ride with them. I followed Carlisle and Esme, I felt my panic rise again slightly as I got into the back and Jasper slid in next to me. Why was I so goddamn calm…? My eyes harden and I sent Jasper a glare.

"Stop that." I bit, he looked shocked, then he realized, and looked a little guilty. I watched as he swallowed, his Adam's apple bobbed. His honey scent nearly drove me off the edge as we drove. I sat as far away from him as I could without making a scene. Carlisle and Esme were silent too; it was a very tense atmosphere.

My eyes lids felt sore, fighting off sleep. I hadn't slept well in so long, I didn't have nightmares but I was restless every night. I slept better when I was with Paul, his heat helped me drift. Better, but not perfectly.

Another difference between Jasper and Paul. I didn't realize until that moment, how much I compared Paul to Jasper.

I cared for Paul, but not in…_that_ way. I could have, before I met Jasper, but the simple fact remained-

He just wasn't Jasper.

* * *

"Bella!" Charlie opened the door in shock and relief and then fury as he looked at Edward. Jasper and everyone else left but Edward carried Bella. Charlie pulled me into a hug, shocking me to my core.

"What have you done to her?" Charlie bellowed releasing me, trying to take Bella off Edward, to which she was highly reluctant. Charlie eventually agreed to let him take upstairs to bed, and then kicked him out. I waited in the kitchen for the fury. He stormed down the stairs and then his eyes softened.

"Where were you?" He demanded but the concern in his tone softened the delivery.

"It was a huge thing between Bella and Edward. Edward thought something and then Alice dragged Bella to LA to fix it, and I didn't want her going alone with Edward and all, so I went with them to make sure Bell was ok." I lied fluently. Charlie opened his mouth and closed it before sighing and sitting in the chair.

"Are they all back?" He asked and I know what he was asking, emotion drained from me and I nodded stiffly.

"I think so." I told him and he sent me a sympathetic look.

"Are you and Jas-" He asked me, he liked Jasper. In fact, he loved him. I used to rejoice to it but now, it just made my stomach churn.

"No." I told him more sharply than I should have, then is sighed and shook my head. "No." I told him again, more softly.

"I have to ground you, you know?" He told me, and I nodded.

"I guessed." I nodded uncaring. I didn't care; I didn't go out much anymore anyway. Paul normally just sneaked in but now…

No, nothing had changed.

Jasper doesn't _want_ you, he doesn't. I chanted the thought repeatedly, trying to drill it in my head. I rose from my chair after saying goodnight to my dad and climbed up the stairs.

I changed in a daze, climbing into bed. I had removed the quilt from my sheets, when Paul stayed it was just too god damn warm. Because of this, the sheets were fairly thin and curved around my body tightly. I let the darkness take me, uncaring if I drowned in it.

I rolled over and slid onto my pillow on the other side of my pillow. It felt a little strange but I didn't care. I felt refreshed. I was in that half-awake/half asleep haze as I placed my hand on the pillow too. I suddenly realized 3 things.

One) Pillows were normally warm, maybe with a slight chill, but definitely not cold.

Two) Pillows were soft, and not hard.

Three) Pillows don't have arms; they can't wrap their arm around your waist lightly.

I jumped up in shock grabbing the sheet darting to the other side of the bed, my chest heaved and I opened my eyes to see Jasper laid there, like a god on my bed. His expression was haunting. The agony in his eyes broke me apart. His pain cut me deeper than my own.

I released the sheet a little; I mean I was clothed; in a tank top and some cotton shorts. I took in his face, he had hunted, I knew that for sure. His golden irises were proof the circles under his eyes were a lot lighter but his jaw was still stiff, as was his frame as he sat up leaning against my headboard silently, the thing that I noticed mostly though was his nose that scrunched up a little-why?

"Ya' room reeks'a wolves." He stated coolly in his smooth voice and southern accent freezing the burn that had filled me for months, I knew him well enough to know that beneath his cool exterior was something boiling. It shocked me; I saw slight anger in his eyes and a hint of possessiveness.

"Huh." Was my reply. As you can see, I am currently writing a book of snappy comebacks.

He moved quickly, at a speed I couldn't even register, until his face was close to mine. He seemed to think about his words before he spoke them.

"I owe ya' an apology Darlin'. No I owe ya' more than tha'- I had no idea that Victoria would try an' avenge James. I thought tha' if I lef' ya' then you wouldn't get hurt anymore- ya'' could fall in love with a man tha' could touch ya' without killing ya'- but then ya' put ya'self in the care of _werewolves_, Immature_, _volatile creatures the next thing as bad as Victoria. I nearly ripped La Push apart when I found out tha' ya' had-" His eyes darkened and he turned slightly from my frozen body to stare at the bed with furious eyes-"Moved_ on _with one'a them. It makes me feel sick to ma' core that ya' would-"

"Stop." I told him and he did. His eyes held a pleading hold, not pleading, _begging. _

"You have to stop this right now Jasper-you can't let this-this _guilt_rule you for the rest of your life. The things that happened with Victoria when you left wasn't your fault. It's not your job to take care of me and it's not your fault that Paul protected me along with the pack." I told him, I didn't think I would be able to do it but I wanted him to be happy. I would deal with the burn when he left. A snarl erupted from Jaspers chest making me jump; he ripped the sheets of my bed tightly and looked down to me. His eyes dark and his jaw locked.

"Ya' believe tha' I feel guilty that ya' are with a werewolf?" He stated slowly through his teeth. I didn't understand. At all. My eyes brows wrinkled in confusion, I didn't even think to correct him about Paul and I being together.

"You don't?" I questioned with a look of blank comprehension on my face. He shook his hand and he let out an un-amused laugh.

"How to word it to ya'…" He mused under his breath and then looked me in the eyes, they were softer but determination was strong in them.

"I am_ jealous_ pretty girl', even more, I am furious. I'm mad tha' someone else gotta' touch ya' and its 'ma fault'." He told me, his finger brushing my cheek. Sending electricity in its path. Six months, and he still has the same reaction on me since I met him. Hell, it was more. I processed his words…why would he be jealous.

"Im'ma' good liar Darlin'. I always 'ave been but ya' believed me so easily." His voice broke a little, his eyes pained and he traded his finger for his palm on my cheek. "Ya' believed me, I could feel it in ya' emotions. How could ya'? How could ya' believe that I could live without ya'? I have waited over fifty years for ya' Lara !" He grabbed my shoulders and shook my lightly trying to make me absorb his words.

I just couldn't. I had drilled it into my head so many times that he didn't want me and now he was saying he did. My walls shook, threatening to crumble. His cold hands snaked up my neck to cup my face in his hands, one hand then trailed down to my waist until I was pressed against him.

"I'll prove it ya pretty girl." He said before pressing his lips to mine, I felt his tongue trace my bottom lip softly asking for entrance which I complied with, my lips moving on their own accord, As usual I was losing the fight for dominance but in all truth, I could care less. I felt Jasper's hands slipping from my waist down my hips to the back of my thigh and he picked me up and sat me on his lap so I could kiss him more easily. I wrapped my legs around his waist and he tightened his grip around my waist as I wrapped my arms around his neck. My feet dug into the mattress as I pressed myself further into him. He ripped his lips from mine, slamming me into the mattress, his arms caging around me so I wouldn't get hurt, his eyes were pitch black. I traced my thumbs under his eyes across the dark circles, his eyes brightened as my breathing calmed.

"I can't touch ya' like he can Darlin', But I can make ya' feel something- Something that ain't just physical." He murmured and I tensed a little, I wasn't in control. My natural instincts had changed since I met him. The only instinct I had now was one.

_Jasper._

"I'm not _with_ Paul, Jasper." I told him and his eyebrows furrowed in confusion and then smoothed out in realization, he didn't look happy but he didn't look as upset.

"I love ya' Lara. Always have an' I always will." He told me pressing his lips lightly under my jaw.

"I love you too Jazz." I whispered, his body stilled and then he raised his head. His eyes filled with adoration that made me second-guess my next words but I couldn't get hurt again, I wouldn't. He leaned into kiss me but I held a finger against his lips.

"But I can't Jazz…not yet. I need some time." I told him, I felt a little part of me die when his smile faded into a deep frown.

"Darlin'," He began, his eyes filled with unashamed pleading, I unraveled myself form his hold, and moved away from him on the bed. He sat up and stared off into the corner of the room.

"It's the wolf ain't it" He assumed and I shook my head moving closer, I placed my warm hand against his smooth cool face, making his look at me.

"No, I don't feel that way about Paul. He knows that."I told him and he nodded, but the pain in his eyes didn't hold up. It became too much for me to bear so I looked away.

He sighed lowly.

"It appears our presence is needed Darlin'." He stated and I raised an eyebrow but stood up with him. He raised his hand out to me hesitantly as if waiting for me to reject it. I placed my hand in his lightly and he smiled a little.

"Common'." He pulled me onto his back, and leapt from the window running at a frightening speed.

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**Please oh please review! Thankyou to all you guys who stick by me no matter what! Please check out Untamed which is an Emmett/OC – It's a lot more funny that this story but the Character Blake is a lot different too- She fits Emmett like Lara fits Jasper! Please check it out!**

**WOW! I got lots of favourites and follows, I know I don't talk about them much but I do love them all too! Please review! Oh and read the thing at the bottom about the new poll for this story! Last chapter in the new moon segment-do you want me to carry on and do Eclispe, let me know in your review!**


	16. I caught myself

**I'm so sorry for the late update guys! My beta was really busy and I want to make sure the chapters are all checked and everything so we had to wait a little longer! **

**WOW! I got lots of favorites and follows, I know I don't talk about them much but I do love them all too! Please review! Oh and read the thing at the bottom about the new poll for this story! This chapter isn't very long, not as long as the other so sorry guys! Last chapter in the new moon segment-do you want me to carry on and do Eclipse, let me know in your review!**

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**I have been thinking a lot about growing up and all of the relationships and broken hearts we go through. I always wonder how many times I said, "I love you" to someone and knew I didn't mean it. It makes me think about all of the people that have said they love me and didn't mean it as well, and I get really pissed off, because I hate when people lie. I mean, if they were lying to get in my pants, that is one thing, but just for the sake of dragging my heart through the mud. I don't think anyone has ever used me for my body, and that really, really hurts. It really does. I want to be a booty call. Isn't that what we all want out of life; to be someone's "go to" sex slave? I forgot what I was talking about. Oh yeah, Love. Love sucks.**

**It's hard to accept, but you can't change the past. You can't go back and manipulate things to the way you wanted them to happen. Because life would be meaningless and boring and just not worth living. But you can change the future and that's a beautiful thing about life. Yes, you will make mistakes. And yes, you will have bad days – but as long as you let the past go, you'll have such a gorgeous and bright future ahead of you. Knowing that things were meant to happen. Knowing that each day you will learn something so that you keep growing to be a better person. Life is like a rope, twined in all its complexities and yet weaved into one marvelous stream that you have the chance you use something amazing from. So grab hold of it.**

**You know you're in love when you can say anything to the person and you know they won't laugh at you. When you can see their face when you close your eyes. When you can still feel their arms around you holding you tight long after they are gone. When you can still taste their kiss after you have said goodbye. You can tell you're in love when you miss them before they are gone. When their voice lingers in your ears. When their presence eases any pain. When their name sends chills down your spine. When they are the only thing you can think about. You know you are in love when you can see all their hopes and dreams and their soul when you look into their eyes. When they call you at four in the morning to say, "I love you" and mean it. When your tears stain not only their shirt, but also their heart. When they are hurt just because of these tears. When even a simple chore done with them can become a lasting memory. Ultimately, you know you are in love when you can't imagine living without them, and can't figure how did you live before you knew them. When they fulfill every need and without them you are incomplete. The love of someone else completes the heart, and sound and mind all at once.**

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**"I caught myself"**

I had forgotten what it was like to run at this pace or well, hold tightly onto Jasper hoping he doesn't run into the trees or I fall and die. It was excruciating being that close to him and not being able to touch him the way I wanted to. The urge to lower my lips to his neck and kiss it lightly was overwhelming but I resisted. He held me tightly, probably more than was necessary but I acted as If hadn't noticed.

He slowed down to a walk a few seconds later and lightly lowered me to the ground holding onto my waist for a few more lingering seconds.

"You could have at least given me a chance to get changed." I muttered as we walked up the Cullen drive way. I saw Jazz grin from the corner of my eyes as he kept pace easily with my human speed.

"Now why would I do a thing like tha', I think ya' look quite…mouth-watering." He grinned and I rolled my eyes. Why did he have to say thing like that? It made all this so much harder.

"Of course you do…" I muttered as he opened the door, I heard him chuckle as we walked into the dining room.

"Nice Pj's Lara!" Emmett hollered from his place at the table, everyone sitting around the table while Rose didn't look happy at all.

"Thanks Emmy." I called back making his laughter boom around the room.

"The floor is yours Bella." Carlisle told her as I took a seat next to Rose; she sent me a desperate look, which I didn't understand.

"Well I'm hoping Alice told you what happened in Volterra." Bella started, as Jasper took his place on a chair next to me. His hands were in fists on the table. I kept mine folded on my lap to resist the temptation to touch him, I was tempted to smile in realization. Edward's jaw was locked and he glared at us all, looking fierce.

"Yes, everything." Alice nodded.

"And on the way there?" She checked with the pixie-vampire. Who nodded, I couldn't remember what they meant. Jasper sent me a quick look out of the corner of his eyes and I shrugged. I have no idea…

"Then were all on the page…I won't force myself on you all…taking into account that I won't put any of you in danger either, I want you all to vote about me becoming a vampire." She announced and I froze in shock.

Holy mother fu-

Jasper tensed a little and looked at me; I kept my gaze on my sister though who turned to me quickly.

"Félix will come here to see if you are human-He'll probably turn you himself." Bella told me in a certain voice. Jasper growled loudly making everyone jump at the fury.

"Edward…" Jasper's tone was a warning demanding to know what happened., Edward didn't look frightened but he seemed to think before he spoke. It was time's like this when It reminded me that he was the most dangerous of all the Cullen's.

"When we were in Volterra, Felix took a _liking_ to Lara and Aro asked her to stay as well as the rest of us. She decline of course- Felix likes the challenge, he is easily bored and probably not even think about her again for thirty years." Edward finished with a comforting thought that seemed to settle down Jasper.

"Son, no one will be taking Lara away." Carlisle reassured him, Jazz looked in my direction, and I smiled half-heartedly. He nodded a little and Bella cleared her throat drawing the staring away from me, which I appreciated to no length. Emmett wagged his eyebrows at me; making me roll my eyes…only Em would find this amusing. Rosalie glared making him fidget. What can I say…She is damn scary.

Edward spoke up and described his plan to hide us and yada, yada and I shook my head, was he stupid?

"Nice." Derek said receiving a dark look from Alice leaving him looking a little afraid which made me smile.

"No way!" Bella yelled.

"I like it." Jasper muttered appreciatively and I gave him a dry look, he shifted under my stare.

"What is wrong with you?" Rose screamed at Emmett who fist bumped Edward, she smacked him over the head making him wince rubbing it.

"Idiots!" Alice said muttered.

"You have some serious emotional damage." I added and he scowled at me. Emmet coughed to hide a laughter. Jasper grinned a little.

"Well Edward has given you another option, let's vote." Bella looked at Alice and Derek.

"Yes, of course!" Alice said and skipped forward to give Bella a kiss on the cheek. She winked at me and went over to Derek who nodded.

"Of course Bella." She then looked at Rose and I bit my lip in wonder.

"No, not because I have any aversion to you as my sister but this aren't a life I would have chosen for myself… Lara is my best friend and she has a life and a choice as do you and I wish Lara would have been there to vote no for me. So no." She explained and I smiled softly at her in understanding. She smiled back in relief. I understood and I didn't think badly of her for it.

She looked to Esme who smiled. "Of course, I already consider you apart of the family." She smiled at Bella and then at me.

Emmett picked her up spinning her around before she even asked him. "Hell yeah. We can pick a fight with these Volturi some other way." He grinned, making me laugh.

"I'll say ye', it would be nice to not wanna' to kill ya' all the time." Jasper offered, making me laugh I coughed to conceal it. Bella shifted a little uncomfortably.

"Your social skills _amaze_ me." I whispered lowly in his ear making him grin as he turned to me.

"You have given me no choice Edward…Yes Bella." Carlisle said and Edward walked in the room and I heard loud bangs.

"He's so passive aggressive." I muttered and Emmett nodded in agreement as we tried to keep a serious expression but busted into laughter.

"So where do you want to do this Alice?" Bella asked suddenly making me freeze.

Alice looked positively panicked.

"No! _No_! NO!" Edward roared now right next to Bella shaking her.

"I don't- Bella I don't know how to _not_ kill you." She stuttered. I was still frozen, my heart beating fast. Why couldn't she just wait...? I couldn't. I couldn't do this… I sent a panicked look to Rose who smiled at me reassuringly.

"Why not to wait till after you graduate, in name of being inconspicuous." Rose spoke thoughtfully and subtly, everyone looked to her in shock. I turned to her at the same time acting as if I was shocked too, but I didn't miss Edward's quick glance at me.

"That seems fair." Carlisle said in a thoughtful tone. I saw Bella deliberate and then nod. Edward relaxed.

"I can live with that." She stated.

"We should get you two home in case Charlie wakes up early." Edward said and I nodded, Jazz stood up too. I didn't know how this was going to work, I didn't even know what I was doing all I knew was I couldn't let my walls fall…not yet. I couldn't risk it yet.

He scoped me up on his back and silently ran, ,y bedroom was on the other side on the house to Bella's so Jazz ran well…to the other side. Duh?

He unraveled my arms from his neck and laid me on the bed pulling the covers up to me and kissed me lightly on the forehead, I saw him look at the window in deliberation or hesitation. I realized he wasn't sure I wanted him to go or not.

I wanted him to stay.

Maybe that was the problem, I should tell him to go. I should.

"Will you stay with me?" I asked him lightly and he met my eyes and nodded. He settled next to me, I didn't curl up to him like I wanted to but I turned to face him and his hand stroked my hair lightly.

I could be stubborn tomorrow I decided as my eyes fluttered closed.

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**People, my beautiful people! Review!**

**Guys, next chapter will be the eclipse segment and I have been wondering- Would you guys like A) Lara to be turned before the new-born battle OR B) Lara has a baby as well as Bella after her or just Lara has a baby? Let me know. Or hell C) She turns before the new born battle and then she finds a baby in an accident or a adopts or something. Let me know! :D**

**I have out a poll up so go there to check it out. Also guys please check out my Emmett/OC Untamed- if you haven't already but the people who stuck by my from that story I love you so damn much! Especially the people who update each time just to say they enjoyed it or hell a smiley face. It means something to me and all that…Again thank you so much, please follow me as an author and follow and fav, hell if you love this story tell other people to read it! Thank you all so much and please review!**


	17. Broken record

**Wow, lots of people wanting me to do the Eclipse Segment sooooo of course I did! The first Chapter is finally here! :D YAYAYAYAY! Lots of things going on in Eclipse for Lara and Jasper, Lots of issues Lara has to get through-Maybe love isn't enough? Is it? Let's find out.**

**Leave a review please!**

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**People are afraid of themselves, of their own reality; their feelings most of all. People talk about how great love is, but that's bullshit. Love hurts. Feelings are disturbing. People are taught that pain is evil and dangerous. How can they deal with love if they're afraid to feel? Pain is meant to wake us up. People try to hide their pain. But they're wrong. Pain is something to carry, like a radio. You feel your strength in the experience of pain. It's all in how you carry it. That's what matters. Pain is a feeling. Your feelings are a part of you. Your own reality. If you feel ashamed of them, and hide them, you're letting society destroy your reality. You should stand up for your right to feel your pain.**

**Sometimes there are things in our life that aren't meant to stay. Sometimes change may not be what we want. Sometimes change is what we really need. And sometimes saying goodbye is the hardest thing you think you'll ever have to do, but sometimes it's saying 'hello again' that breaks you down and makes you the most vulnerable person you'll ever know. Sometimes change is too much to bear, but most of the time change is the only thing saving your life.**

**Let's face it… we've changed. We all changed. Somewhere between summer ending and school starting, we've gone in our own directions. Hearts were broken, friends diminished, new love started and new people came into our lives. We no longer spend all of our time in our circle of friends, we no longer talk for hours about nothing at all. We've changed — some for the better, some for the worse. Some of us are finding love and others are trying to let go. Even though we've changed, we all know that even though we're all finding our own place in the world, that when we find out love, when we let go of a love, when the tears fall, or the happy smile spreads across our face… we'll come to each other because no matter where this crazy world takes us and no matter what happens, nothing will ever change so much to the point that we'll be friends forever.**

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_**"Broken record"**_

I smelt burning from my room and my head snapped up from where I sat at the desk in my room. My knee's pressed against the desk as my sketchpad leaned on my knees. I placed my sketch of Jasper down to investigate what was going on downstairs. I was wearing some high waited shorts with a plain tank top tucked in it. My hair was pulled to the right in a fishtail braid, it swayed as I walked down the stairs.

I walked in to see Bella wafting her hand at the microwave, staring at the clump of noodles. I took one look at her and Charlie's faces and burst into laughter, holding onto the door frame for support, Bella rolled her eyes and ignored me. Charlie just narrowed his eyes.

"Have I entered an alternative universe where Charlie _attempts_ to cook?" I asked him, after I had calmed enough to walk over to the stove. He rolled his eyes and sat down as Bella tried to fix dinner.

"So what brought this on?" She asked and I nodded just as curious.

"Don't know what you're talking about." He grumbled, I was mystified to say the least. Charlie cooking? It just wasn't…natural.

"Why do you look like someone shot a panda bear?" I asked him with a teasing grin, he ignored me picking up the paper, Bella and I shared a curious look, he normally saved this behavior for Edward when he was allowed to go in his allocated time. My grounding wasn't as harsh as Bella's. Because well A) I lied getting myself out of trouble. B) Bella's grounding was also to keep her away from Edward and C) dad still loved Jasper, which unbelievably was not a positive action. It made all of this harder.

Jazz and I were still not together; he was here a lot though. He came into my room at night too sometimes but I drew lines. He didn't like that, not at all. He spends the first week being respectful for me 'Needing time.' However, he recently had been rebelling against it-pushing me to break the lines and some of them, I did.

I loved him and it was hard to not show it but…I couldn't let myself lose the control I had spent 6 months grasping onto for dear life. I spend a lot of time with Rose too; she and I were closer than ever. She also understood my position. Rose didn't want me to become a vampire and I…it wasn't about being a _vampire_.

If Jasper had never had left I would probably be just as insistent-_Almost. –_But, he did. He did leave and I don't know. If I agree to that, that means I trust Jasper that he would never leave me and forever for a vampire is a very long time, I was struggling to believe he wouldn't leave _now._

I missed him when he wasn't there but when he was…I spent the entire time struggling to stop the emotions that had buried themselves deeply inside me-from exploding. After all, Jazz could feel it.

I blinked in realization Bella and Charlie had been having a discussion and were now looking at me with expecting expressions.

"I have no idea what you just said." I admitted making them both laugh a little and then Charlie sighed.

"So I'm thinking you both deserve parole for good behavior. You're amazingly non-whining for teenagers." He told us and I cocked an eyebrow. Dude, I whined all the time-but I was mean not a moron so I didn't complain.

"Seriously? I'm free?" Bella's voice and eyebrows shot up.

Charlie raised a finger. "Conditionally."

I sank down in my chair. "Fantastic." I groaned.

"Wait, this is more a suggestion than a demand and more for Bella than you Lara-Use your freedom to see your other friends." Charlie stated and I saw where this was going- It went straight from I hate your boyfriend street to I love Jacob Black boulevard.

"What does that mean?" She asked sounding very wary.

"I don't think you should dump all your friends for your boyfriend, keep a balance…particularly Jake." Charlie was very careful of his wording.

"What about Lara with Paul." Bella stated immediately and my eyes widened and I thumped her on her arm making her wince rubbing it.

"Don't drag me down with you!" I hollered, I turned to Charlie who gave us a look and I leaned back again.

"If I'm being honest, the less time you spend with Paul the better." Charlie frowned and I laughed a little knowing how fond of Paul my dad wasn't. I hadn't spoken to Paul since I came back and not for lack of trying- he wouldn't answer my calls. What else could I do?

They had some heart to heart then, which made me slightly nauseated and then it lead to a conversation about college.

"You both have mail by the way." Charlie stated suspiciously and is shrugged uncaring leading him to all but throw it at me.

"Ok Mr. Pushy." I muttered turning it around as did Bella, mine was sealed but Bella's wasn't however.

"It's open." She stated a little accusing, I chuckled at her appealed face.

"Due, she could ring the police." I warned him with a teasing grin and he rolled his eyes.

"Just open it." He insisted- watching both our faces. I didn't know why he didn't open mine, he must have caught my curious expression.

"You have more of a temper then Bella." He stated and I opened my mouth to deny it then shrugged. It was true. I ripped open the top just as Charlie congratulated Bella for getting into Alaska. I discarded the envelope and unfolded the paper.

_School of the Art Institute of Chicago_

_Dear Lara Swan,_

_We would like to offer you a place to study at the Art institute of Chicago, one of the finest….._

The letter went on for a bit but I stared at it in shock. I couldn't believe it. I actually got into the Art Institute of Chicago. I had always wanted to go there but I never believed I could get in…

"So…" Charlie prodded, I realized I was just staring at it. Bella slid the paper out of my hands and her eyes widened.

"She got into the School of the Art Institute in Chicago." She spluttered and Charlie's eyes busted out of his head as he took the letter, skimmed it, and then grinned at me- I had recovered a little bit from my shock.

"Well done Kid! I knew you could do it!" He grinned.

Firstly, I never thought if I applied, I would get in which was the reason I _didn't_send off my application. It was in my top drawer in my bedroom.

"Thanks dad, ermm I'll be just a minute." I ran up the stairs and through the hall into my bedroom- I crossed the room and yanked open the drawer.

It was gone.

"Everythin' okay ther' Darlin?" I heard a musical deep voice that made my body do summersaults every time I heard it- I knew it was Jasper without the voice. The smell of honey filling my system. I spun around with an accusing stare.

He was smiling innocently, a little too bloody innocently, sat with perfect posture. He wore dark jeans and a navy button up shirt. He always made the most sensible looks-look casual. His blonde hair tousled in his face. He was so beautiful it hurt.

"Drop the innocent act! You sent off my application!" I whispered furiously and he sighed.

"If I didn' do it, ya' wouldn't have an' your stuff is real good, pretty girl'." He leaned behind his back and waved my sketch of him I finished off before I went downstairs. My eyes widened in shock- he wasn't supposed to see that. His shit-eating grin was evidence why. I walked forward and tried to snatch the drawing but he refused to give it to me. He grabbed my waist with his arm pulling me down onto him and he gracefully fell onto my bed. He held me in his caged arms so I couldn't move.

"Looks like I'm not the only person with drawings' of the person they love, huh sweetheart?" He asked me with a teasing smile. I didn't want to go down this road tonight. Not again… He caught my expression or felt the change in my emotions and rolled over, trapping me under him. I fisted the sheet in my hands- the temptation to give in was overwhelming. He brushed the pad on his thumb across my bottom lip. I didn't move at all, my lips parted under their own brain. His amber eyes flitting across my face.

"When ar' ya' gunna forgive me Darlin'? I don't think I could I stand if ya' hated me forever…" His words were slow and painful- they melted me a little. It wasn't that I hadn't forgiven his it's just that…what if he left again?

He seemed to tell where my brain had drifted to and moved one hand to grab my chin lightly forcing me to look at him.

"I will neva' leave ya' again. I was already on ma' way back pretty girl. I don't know how many ways I can say it till you understand! I can't live in a world where ya' don' exist." His words burned through me. My heart seemed to overtake my brain as I pressed my lips lightly to his cool marble ones. I didn't want to hurt him- I was just protecting myself, but I wasn't going to be able to keep this up much longer. My left hand trailed up his chest, his coolness coming through the thinness of his shirt. His gripped my hip tightly as he pressed into me- one hand tangled in my hair. I ripped my lips from his when I couldn't breathe but it didn't seem to stop him from pressing kisses down my jaw and throat. I was vaguely aware that we were exceeding the lines of our other kissed before he left. _Vaguely._

A deep growl began to rumble deep in Jazz's chest as he pressed against me further deepening the kiss, I dragged my nails down his bare chest- I didn't remember undoing the buttons of his shirt but I was too far gone to care. He was addictive and I always wanted more.

Jazz's snarling became more profound and before I could blink, he flew away from me and landed with a loud bang against my wall. Luckily Charlie was watching the game and I was finally grateful for its un-necessary loud volume. I panted heavily as I rose from my position on the bed- I watched as Jaspers eyes squeezed shut. His chest rising and falling at the same pace as mine even though he didn't need to breathe. It finally slowed, as did mine and he opened his eyes to stare at me.

"I'm sorry." I told him and I was, I didn't realize I would hurt him. I was too wrapped up in well…him.

He smiled a little shaking his head. "It should be me apologizin'. I could have hurt ya'."

My eyebrows furrowed in confusion. "But my blood…"

He chuckled crossing the room and bending down in front placing his large hands on the middle of my legs, which were dangling off the bed.

"I lived through 6 months without ya' Darlin', it doesn't bother me anymore." He told me with an easy grin and my eyebrows shot up. I had seen first-hand that Jazz had a problem with his thirst.

"Huh?" It rather expressed what I thinking.

He chuckled, pulled me up from the bed, and kissed my forehead lightly. "I intend to win ya' back, whether ya' like it or not. You love me whether ya; wanna or not." He stated giving a pointed look to the drawing, which was now on the floor after being thrown off after Jazz and I's ermm…episode. I sighed and began heading downstairs with him following, I stopped with a small smile.

"You should probably fasten your shirt, Charlie will have a stroke." I told him casually, he looked down at his open shirt and then smirked at me, I turned quickly heading down the stairs so he couldn't see my returning grin.

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**Review my beautiful people for the little fluffy scene :D**


	18. Taunting

**I don't even know where to start with my apologies guys, I have been doing my final exams and have been up to my eyeballs in work and so has my beta who is currently studying and taking exams so this chapter hasn't been checked so I'm sorry for that, My life has taken a seriously huge turn, I've had to move two hundred miles from where I have lived my entire life because of it, I'm still adjusting but I'm not going to stop writing!**

**Please leave a review, It really cheers me up and I'm in serious need of that! :D**

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**When I'm not there.. do you think of me? When you're sad and something's bothering you.. do you wish I were there to help comfort you? When you've had a long hard day… do you smile knowing that soon you'll be seeing me, and everything will seem better, even if it's just for a moment? When you lay down at night… do you look back and cherish the new memories you've made with me? And when you get up in the morning, does everything inside of you smile, knowing that this will be another day that we'll be together? because that's how I think of you…**

**Kiss is not just a kiss, it's something that's so much more. When it ignites every passion inside you and makes you weak at the knees, when you're left sweating cause you are hot but the air conditioner is on, when your pressure rises and you're healthy as an ox, when your mind that was racing is now blank, when the world stops and all you hear are two hearts beating, then you've been kissed with a kiss that's truly a kiss.**

**I can't get you out of my mind, I keep thinking of how much I love talking to you… how good you look when you smile, how much I love your laugh… I day-dream about you off and on, replaying pieces of our conversation, laughing at funny things that you said or did… I've memorized your face and the way that you look at me… I catch myself smiling again at what I imagine… I wonder what will happen the next time we are together, I know one thing for sure, you're the best thing that ever happened to me in a long time.**

**Some things in life are either taken way to seriously or not serious enough. So why worry so much about our everyday problems. I mean there is only so much time to be alive but plenty of time to be dead. So live every day like it is your last. Take way to many pictures, laugh to hard and love with all your heart.**

**Wait for the man who calls you beautiful instead of hot, who calls you back when you hang up on him, who will lie under the stars and listen to your heartbeat, or will stay awake just to watch you sleep. Wait for the man who kisses your forehead, who wants to show you off to the world when you are in sweats, who holds your hand in front of his friends, who thinks you' re just as pretty without makeup on. One who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares and how lucky he is to have you. The one who turns to his friends and says, 'thats her…'**

**When you say I'm beautiful I say "yeah right," but what I'm really saying is "do you really think so?" When you say good job I say "thanks" but what I'm really saying is "I love that you notice." When you say we'll be together forever I say "I hope so" but what I'm really saying is "I hope forever never ends." When you say I love you I say "I love you too" but what I'm really saying is "never stop saying that." When you say that I don't care I say "yes I do" but what I'm really saying is "I care for you more than you'll ever know."**

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_"Taunting"_

"How do you do that?" Emmett repeated for the third time. And I chuckled.

"It's easy." I told him as I flicked another coin into a shot glass.

"She learned it in rehab." Rose called from the couch where she sat with Carlisle and Esmé. Jasper was sat reading in the chair next to them, but I saw he kept looking up with an amused expression.

"Bite me Blondie." I hollered not taking my eyes of the shot glass. I heard her laugh lightly. Emmett gave it a go and shattered the glass.

"EMMETT!" Esmé scolded, and I laughed at his pouting expression. He folded his arms across his chest.

Before I could tease him further a very smug Edward walked in with a rather red Bella.

"Our father is so annoying." She muttered as she sat on the empty couch with Edward. I strolled over flopping next to her.

"What did he do now?" I asked her in a bored tone making Rose chuckle.

"He went into a fit about me and Edward going to see mom this weekend." She told me and I nodded and shrugged.

"You should play the move out card." I offered and Esmé shot me a look and I looked away innocently, she smiled a little changing the channel. Emmett lifted Rose up and propped her on his lap casually.

Bella went a little redder. "I did. How do you not feel guilty when you do this?" She asked and Edward rubbed her arms, Rose and I shared an eye roll.

"I don't feel guilt, silly Bella." I patted her head making her slap my hand away; she pulled an expression of annoyance.

"I'm serious! You get away with everything. I actually once saw you talk yourself out of mom finding you, Cassie and 3 other girls passed out along with like half of the football team." She spluttered, and Rose and I shared another grin. Jazz chuckled rolling his eyes and went back to his book. I exchanged a fist bump with Emmett.

Carlisle just smile fondly at us all while Esmé shook her head returning her face back to the television.

"You're a good liar too; you just feel guilt about it afterwards." I told her and she looked a little thoughtful and then nodded and sighed.

"Maybe you should just stick to the rule breaking." Bella decided.

"Tha's a good' idea Bella." Jazz spoke from behind his book making Bella jump a little, I realised he never really spoke to her at all, he wasn't being rude but he was a lot more careful than before after the birthday incident and even then he was careful. It was strange that he was in the same room as her at all.

I stuck my tongue out in his general direction even though he couldn't see me.

"Tha's immature Darlin'." He stated behind his book and Emmett and I shared a freaked out look.

"Dude, how did you know?" Emmett asked looking very scared.

"I know Lara." He said simply stumping us both. Rose sighed bored with the chatter making me laugh. She threw a pillow at me.

Alice bounded through the door then. "Chess!" She announced making Rose, Em and I groan loudly.

It was going to be a wild night.

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Jasper was being unusually clingy this weekend-Bella and Edward returning later today but I had been watching Jasper. He hovered around me more than normally, Rose convinced me to sleep on the Saturday night and I did while the other Cullen's were hunting. It was strange to say the least, _everyone _was very hoverish- I don't even think that's a word. Jasper who quite when he drove me home- He turned to me as he drove taking his eyes off the road not that the car swevered at all from the centre of the road.

"Are ya' happy ya' sister's home?" Jazz asked me with his warm topaz eyes. I corners of my lips pulled up into a small smile.

"Ye I guess I did, It's weird. Bella and I never really spent much time together in Phoenix-we were so different but now I guess were a lot closer." I admitted.

His eyebrows pulled together in confusion and then his eyes bore into mine with burning curiosity. "Bella changed since she met ma' brother?" he asked and I shook my head.

"More me than Bella, before I came here I was a little…well let's just say I'm different." I told him, he didn't seem to like my answer. It seemed it was too vague.

"What d'ya' mean?" He inquired and I sighed.

"I was selfish, sometimes manipulative. I was all for self-preservation- I didn't care about other people much and that's really what got me in trouble. It took me a while but I got myself sorted and here I am now. I'm glad you didn't meet me back then." I told him and he shook his head and let out a throaty chuckle.

"What?" I asked him, why was he laughing? We pulled up at my house, a few seconds later.

"I'd love ya' anyway Sweetheart." He told me as if it was the most obvious thing; he pressed a soft and longing kiss to my cheek. I leaned into him naturally.

"Goodnight Jazz." I whispered and I felt him smile against my soft skin.

"'Night pretty girl." He murmured back and leaned back so I could get out of the car.

I could feel my resolve slipping as time grew. It wasn't going to be long now-I needed him like air.

More in fact.

* * *

Edward pulled up in the parking lot and he froze a little and let out a jiggered breathe.

"If I asked you to stay in the car, would you listen to me?" He asked us both and I leaned over the seat as Bella turned to her vampire with a confused expression. I hated school, it was pointless time I spent away from Jasper, and it was also a reminder. A reminder that I needed to make a decision Did I want to be turned after graduation like Bella? Jasper and I never talked about that. I hadn't even told him about my acceptance to Chicago. That's all I ever wanted- to go there but now Jasper is all I'll ever want.

Could I have both?

"Why?" Bella asked and we followed her line of vision. Jacob black standing by his motor cycle, he was hard to miss. Students gawked at his well…damn smoking body and 6 Ft. 7 figure.

"Damn he is hot." I muttered, both of them sent me sharp looks and I raised my hands in defence.

God they were so sensitive.

"I'm not staying in the car." She stated.

"Ditto." I climbed out of the car. Edward and Bella began walking to Jacob, everyone in the lot was staring openly, I just closed the door to the car when I as suddenly pushed lightly against the car by a very warm hand. I looked up and my eyes widened.

"Paul?!" I asked a little in shock, he rolled his eyes.

"Who else?" He grinned and I rolled me eyes then thumped him not too hard, it would hurt me more than him. He rubbed his arm with a fake pout pretending it hurt.

"Why don't you answer the phone when I call asshole?" I demanded and he groaned and then his nose scrunched up a little.

"You stink of leeches." He stated and I hit him again.

"You need anger management." He stated a little more relaxed.

"Answers. Now." I demanded and he sighed.

"We just needed to give a warning to your sister's leech." He told me and my eyebrows scrunched up in confusion but before I could get anymore answer's Paul looked up and growled at Edward who was glaring at him.

"I'll see you later Lara." Paul told me, in all honesty I was glad he wasn't mad at me but like I said before nothing between Paul and I was ever serious. I jogged over to Bella who was shaking lightly, she looked fearful and furious at the same time as Paul and Jake sped off.

"Victoria." She muttered and I froze. Fear piercing through me.

She came back for us.

* * *

**Ah scary Victoria! I love her hair though! I seriously don't understand why they changed her in eclipse the one in new moon and twilight so much better! Review pleeeeease!**


	19. Panic

**Love is what we are born with. Fear is what we learn. The spiritual journey is the unlearning of fear and prejudices and the acceptance of love back in our hearts. Love is the essential reality and our purpose on earth. To be consciously aware of it, to experience love in ourselves and others, is the meaning of life. Meaning does not lie in things. Meaning lies in us.**

**Do you ever sit and think… what if? What if you never said the first hello? What if our paths never crossed? What if you kept you mouth shut and just let things pass, or what if you would have said just one more thing? What if you had five more minutes? What if you could turn back time or make it all just stand still? What if you could say i love you one more time or NEVER had said it all? Where would your life be?**

**All I wanted was to be a girl falling asleep in a boy's arms and not caring about anything else in the world except how I feel right there with him. Just give me a hug and wipe away my tears. Smile at me and promise that everything will be okay. Sit here and listen. Tell me I'm fine the way I am cause it always sounds best coming from you. Hug me and say that I don't deserve this because I'm starting to believe that I do. Please just once be there to steady my shaking hand. Be there to laugh away all my problems. Be there to tell me that it's all going to be okay. And then you came along and your so much more than that.**

**Regardless of whether you love them, hate them, wish they would die or know that you would die without them… it matters not. Because once they enter your life, whatever you were to the world, they become everything to you. When you look them in the eyes, traveling to the depths of their souls and you say a million things without even speaking, you know that your own life is consumed by their love. We love them for a million reasons; it is a thing, an indescribable feeling.**

**When I'm not there.. do you think of me? When you're sad and something's bothering you.. do you wish I were there to help comfort you? When you've had a long hard day… do you smile knowing that soon you'll be seeing me, and everything will seem better, even if it's just for a moment? When you lay down at night… do you look back and cherish the new memories you've made with me? And when you get up in the morning, does everything inside of you smile, knowing that this will be another day that we'll be together? because that's how I think of you…**

**It's hard to accept, but you can't change the past. You can't go back and manipulate things to the way you wanted them to happen. Because life would be meaningless and boring and just not worth living. But you can change the future and that's a beautiful thing about life. Yes, you will make mistakes. And yes, you will have bad days – but as long as you let the past go, you'll have such a gorgeous and bright future ahead of you. Knowing that things were meant to happen. Knowing that each day you will learn something so that you keep growing to be a better person. Life is like a rope, twined in all its complexities and yet weaved into one marvelous stream that you have the chance you use something amazing from. So grab hold of it.**

* * *

_**Panic**_

Bella was freaking out again, practically begging for them all to turn her. Carlisle and Esme soothed her, promising that nothing would happen to her. I sat on the couch close to Jasper, He had his arm wrapped around me and I leaned against his snuggling into his hard and cool shoulder- believe it or not it was fairly comfortable. I was afraid and I needed him- it was that simple at the moment. I could worry tomorrow.

"I'm so glad Jasper didn't kill you. Everything is so much fun with you around." Emmett cheered.

"Rose." I said my voice thick with implications, her hand connected with the back of her mate's head and he winced. "Thanks." I smiled at her and she nodded sitting down on one of the chairs gracefully. I looked up at Jasper who was wearing a small smile but his eyes were troubled and filled with worry.

I nudged my head in Bella's direction and he nodded silently erasing all her panic and tension making her feel reassured as everyone talked her out of her desperate attempts. Jasper kissed my temple lightly helping to erase mine too.

I wished things could go back to the way they were- simple.

But as usual, my wish was no-one's command.

I didn't like it when Jasper was away. It made me nervous and I didn't feel comfortable in my own skin. That's why this was all so difficulty. It frightened me that I felt that way, how can I be so dependent on him? It made me feel a little better that he felt the same way and I know he did. He was just as dependant on me as I was to him.

I groaned and threw one of pillow across the room. I waited for it to hit the ground and when it didn't I raised my head to see Jasper smiling at me smugly.

"Miss me Darlin'?" He asked casually and my eyes narrowed but I jumped up anyway and wrapped my arms around him tightly. I froze a little when I realised what I was doing and began to pull away but Jasper's arms tightened around my waist and his cool breath hit my neck making me shudder a little.

"Let me in sweetheart. Im'ma neva' gunna' leave ya' again. I love ya'. _Please_ don't punish me anymore." He pleaded, pain crackling through his voice smashing the remains of my will. I pulled myself closer to him.

"Don't leave me again." I whispered as he held onto me tightly.

"Never." He promised lifting me effortlessly to lie on the bed pressing a light kiss to my lips as he lay next to me. Bella had been the same as had been all day, because Edward had to return the other day from his hunting trip because Bella snuck out to see Jake and Alice couldn't see her, Edward as usual being a drama queen. Anyway all the guys went hunting. Bella was staying at The Cullen's house with Alice which she was _not _happy about. Rose asked me if I wanted to come over but I told her I had stuff to do and I did- most of them figuring out what the hell I was going to do about Jazz. Obviously it didn't matter anymore- I didn't have it in me to stay away from him anymore.

"Can I ask ya' a question Darlin'?" He asked me after a little bit of casual conversation, he played with a peace of my hair casual. His expression was as casual as his gesture but his eyes gave away his emotions. I nodded turning more to face him.

"We aint' really 'ad a chance to really talk 'bout ya' becomin'…a vampire." He stated casually and I froze a tiny bit before calming myself. Better now than later.

"In know." I breathed and I saw his lips pull into a frown.

"I will stay with ya' no matter, it's ya choice sweetheart, if ya' don't wanna' become a vampire then I will respect ya' choice…I'll try ma' best to respect ya' choice." He amended with a small grin, I knew Jasper didn't share Edwards beliefs about becoming a vampire but I also know he knew the dangers of becoming one. But Jasper was a soldier throughout and I knew that his goal was to keep me forever-no matter the consequences.

"I want to be with you Jazz, forever." I admitted and his smile widened but then I pressed a finger to his lips. "But I don't know if I'm ready yet, I never really thought of my future Jazz but…" I drifted off lost in my choice or well, lack off.

"You wanted a family?" He asked his eyes suddenly sad.

Translation- Do you wants kids?

"I guess I never thought about it- I don't have a need for them and I don't want them as much as Rose I just, I guess I assumed that's the path my life would take." I told him, his eyes filled with regret and agony and I_ needed_ to take it away.

"But I _need _to spend my life with you Jazz; a human life just isn't long enough." I told him, he smiled widely at my statement and kissed me.

It was true, I could live without all that if I had him. But what I would give to have both…

* * *

My legs' were casually propped up on Jasper's lap on the couch, Esme was pottering around the kitchen humming to herself happy in her own world, Carlisle and Derek were at the table with paper's everywhere, Alice was skipping around the house as she usually does, rearranging flowers and other things. Rose and Emmett were upstairs. I flicked through the magazine I stole off of Rose.

Alice suddenly stopped and moved in a blur to pick up her phone which was sat neatly on the side table next to one of the larger bookcases. Jasper's attention turned from the television- it freaked me out to watch him, watch the Television. He was normally completely frozen; he didn't even blink and sometimes even forgot to breathe. But because my legs were in his lap he casually and gently dragged his long cool finger up my leg. He knew what he was doing to me that basted- he could feel it with his emotion juju stuff- the occasional twitch to his lips giving him away. Alice's conversation seemed to spike his interest. I nearly jumped half a mile when I turned to see everyone had now gathered behind the couch.

Jasper moved at a frightening speed, his arms reaching out grab my and pull him onto his knee. He was staring at me in concern- he didn't even try to mask it which worried me more than anything. Before I could question the shared secretive looks Edward charged in the door wearing a grim look-not that he looked typically happy all the time. I realised that neither did Jasper-I began to wonder how much did he really struggle that we never realised? I noticed Emmett and Rose had disappeared, worry spiked me. Was everything ok with Rose?

"How could you let this happen?" Edward exploded at Alice. She seemed devasted everyone jumped at his tone. My eyes widened, Jasper's grip tightened on me trying to stop me from standing but the look I shot him which made him stand up. He kept his arms around my waist from behind.

"They were never in any danger. There was nothing to see." Alice replied in defeat.

"If you're watching for Italy then-" Edward yelled.

"I don't think it was them, I would have seen that." Alice insisted.

"Who else would leave Charlie alive?" Edward pressed, I shot a frightened and panicked look to Jasper.

"Edward smelt a vampire in ya' sister's room. He didn't seem to come in ya' room though Darlin'." Jasper told me with a tight expression and my eyebrows furrowed-why would they not come in my room.

"Helpful." I heard Edward snap and Alice.

"Hey _dickward_. It's not Alice's fault." I told him and he turned to me in shock- Derek threw me a grateful look, he seemed about to throw Edward through a window for speaking to his mate like that. Edward growled lowly at me- Bella gasped and hit him- Jasper snarled loudly making Edward snap out of it, and look away guiltily.

"Your right Lara, I'm sorry Alice that behaviour was inexcusable- I apologise for growling at you Lara." Edward said sincerely and everyone sighed with relief, I smiled in nod grateful the hissy fit was over.

"Ok- let's think about this rationally…"Carlisle began but I didn't want to listen anymore- I maneuverer out of Jasper's grip and drifted off to the window and worried about my best friend.

It was raining lightly, not heavily enough that I couldn't see when Rose and Emmett returned but enough that Rose would have a rant that her hair would frizz; I smiled a little at the thought. I turned to see everyone in deep discussion about the possibilities of who could have possibly have been in my house- Jazz was looking at me, I was surprised to see a calculating expression. He was wearing his solider/major face. The no shit -one. It was actually kind of hot.

I released a sigh of relief when I saw a flash of blonde hair dart up the stairs. Bella was looking at me curiously not noticing that I had moved or wondering why I sighed. Everyone turned to the kitchen waiting for Rose and Em.

"Long gone, hours ago." Emmet began as he came in shaking droplets out of his hair making Esme frown. "They went east and then south- disappeared on the side of the road. Had a car waiting."

Rose met me half way, she was frowning. "My mother fucking hair is going to frizz." She muttered making me laugh a little despite everything.

"Rose!" Esme scolded, Rose smiled apologetically at her "mom" And then rolled her eyes when she had turned.

"But if he was curious, why not come here?" Emmet demanded and I chuckled as did Rose.

"You would." Esme said with a fond smile at her son. "Others aren't always as direct; there _are_ a lot of us."

"Does it matter who was waiting for me, there_ fact _that someone was looking for me proves it's too dangerous to wait until graduation" Bella pressed and I groaned, here we go again…I realised Bella had never even bothered asking me whether I wanted to be a vampire or not. Did she even care if I _didn't_ want to be one?

"No, Bella." Edward said quickly. "If you were meant to be harmed we would see it."

"Think of Charlie, think of how you would hurt him." Carlisle said softly.

"I am thinking of Charlie, he's the only one I'm worried about and Lara too, you should just change us, if anything happens it will be all our fault." Bella pleaded and I was hit with a wave of guilt, it _would_ be my fault. I heard a growl from across the room.

"It won't be 'er fault Bella, so I suggest ya' stop sayin' it would be." Jasper stated making everyone look at him in shock, he wasn't so outspoken and the way he spoke to Bella was quite spiteful-she actually flinched into Edward at his tone. Edward shot Jazz a dark look which didn't bother him in the slightest

"Oh grow up Edward, you know he's right." Rose told her brother.

"We'll just need to be more careful." Esme's kind voice thawing the tense atmosphere. I walked around the back of the couch to were Jazz leaned on the far wall- away from Bella. I wrapped my arms around his waist and laid my head against his chest. He relaxed immediately and buried his head in my neck inhaling deeply as his arms wrapped around my waist. I noticed that he did this a lot when he was calming down, it was as if my scent calmed him.

"Everything is going to be fine Bella." Alice told her with more confidence than a normal person would have- even if what they were saying _was_ true.

* * *

**Review people! I've taken into account everyone reviews and vote's for what will happen with Lara's changing- A little teaser for you and do with it what you will "Sometimes you **_**can**_** have your pie and eat it."**

**The reviews have dropped a lot lately, Is everyone not interested anymore? Would you prefer if I just ended the story here? I want to write something people want to read! **

**Please keep voting on my profile! :)**

**Oh and I will be addressing the vampire/drugs situation soon ;) **

**Please leave a review, even if it's a short one.**


	20. Born to Die

**Wow! Lot's of feedback and reviews! Thank you so much every single one of you! Sorry my updates have been haywire, I've just started working. I recently moved so everything's kind of up in the air.**

**Anyway, thank you so much for your continuous reviews! **

**Please leave another, it only takes a few seconds! :D**

* * *

**Maybe our old wounds teach us something. They remind us where we've been and what we've overcome. They teach us lessons about what to avoid in the future. That's what we like to think. But that's not always the way it is. Sometimes there are things we just have to learn over again.**

**Congratulations! You're not perfect! It's ridiculous to want to be perfect anyway. But then, everybody's ridiculous sometimes, except perfect people. You know what perfect is? Perfect is not eating or drinking or talking or moving a muscle or making even the teensiest mistake. Perfect is never doing anything wrong – which means never doing anything at all. Perfect is boring! So you're not perfect! Wonderful! Have fun! Eat things that give you bad breath! Trip over your own shoelaces! Laugh! Let somebody else laugh at you! Perfect people never do any of those things. All they do is sit around and sip weak tea and think about how perfect they are. But they're really not one-hundred-percent perfect anyway. You should see them when they get the hiccups! Phooey! Who needs 'em? You can drink pickle juice and imitate gorillas and do silly dances and sing stupid songs and wear funny hats and be as imperfect as you please and still be a good person. Good people are hard to find nowadays. And they're a lot more fun than perfect people any day of the week.**

**I was never one to patiently pick up broken fragments and glue them together again and tell myself that the mending whole was good as new. What is broken is broken – and I'd rather remember it as it was at its best than mend it and see the broken places as long as I lived.**

**He smiled and as he did it, she was filled with a sudden triumph and a great ecstasy, for she knew then that he was hers, and she loved him, and it was something she had known from the very beginning. She had known that this thing was to happen, that nothing could prevent it; she was part of his body and part of his mind, they belonged to each other, both wanderers, both fugitives, cast in the same mold.**

**Do you want to know what my problem is? I will tell you what my problem is, I LOVE YOU I love your name, I love the way you look at me, I love your gorgeous smile, I love the way you walk, I love your beautiful eyes, I love what you look like when you are asleep, I love the sound of your laugh, to hear your voice fills my entire heart with an indescribable feeling. I love the way I can be having the worst day of my life and seeing you completely changes my mood. I love how when you touch me I get weak, that is my problem…**

**People are afraid of themselves, of their own reality; their feelings most of all. People talk about how great love is, but that's bullshit. Love hurts. Feelings are disturbing. People are taught that pain is evil and dangerous. How can they deal with love if they're afraid to feel? Pain is meant to wake us up. People try to hide their pain. But they're wrong. Pain is something to carry, like a radio. You feel your strength in the experience of pain. It's all in how you carry it. That's what matters. Pain is a feeling. Your feelings are a part of you. Your own reality. If you feel ashamed of them, and hide them, you're letting society destroy your reality. You should stand up for your right to feel your pain.**

* * *

**"Born to die."**

I changed into a pair of tight pale jeans and pulled on a white vest top that was ripped diagonally showing my toned stomach- Dude…I work out.  
I pulled on my military boots and threw my leather jacket over my arm and opened the door to head downstairs, I let out a little shriek when a white hand slammed the door shut, I spun around coming face to face with not so calm Jasper.

"Ya' aren't goin' to tha' bonfire." He stated, my jaw dropped. Who the hell does he think he is?

"I think you'll find that I am." I stated in the same time shoving against his rock hard chest- it didn't make him move an inch.

"They ar' unstable and ya' could get hurt, I'm not riskin' that." He told me as if this was final. He was mad; His twang always became more prominent when he was angry.

"Get off me." I shoved against his chest once more, my temper spiking, His eyes darkened but he did as I asked and took a long step back.

"Who the hell do you think you are?!" I yelled, the only person in the house was Bella, I was supposed to be down there too waiting for Edward to drop us off at the treaty line but NO!

"You ain't goin' Lara, an' that's final." He said to me, god if he wasn't a vampire I would have slapped him.

"I can do whatever the hell I want Jasper, I have been for six months when you LEFT ME!" I yelled, his calm fury seemed to explode into full on rage and he slammed me against the wall, a low growl coming from his chest, if I wasn't so mad I would have been terrified.

"Tha's what this is really 'bout ain't it, ya' still don't trust me Lara. How many times to I 'ave to fuckin' apologize to ya!" He bellowed, I internally thanked the lord that Charlie wasn't home from work yet.

"WHY THE HELL WOULD I TRUST YOU!" I yelled, angling my head to yell at him. His jaw locked making his dark eyes more prominent.

"I'M TRYIN' TO PROTECT YA'!" He yelled back and I scoffed pushing him away from me, he moved a couple of steps back.

"WELL DO ME A FAVOUR AND STOP TRYING!" I yelled, his lips parted in shock in my fury but he changed it quickly to anger and snarled a little, I turned and threw the door open slamming it behind me. I stormed down the stairs to see Bella staring white eyed at me by the door, she looked a little pale I all honesty but I was too wound up to care.

"Lara-" She began faintly and I raised a hand throwing the front door open.

"Not in the mood Bells." I warned her and she nodded, I looked outside and I didn't see Jazz. Edward pulled up right on time, his eyes scanning me and I climbed into the back seat. I noticed Bella throwing him a look which clearly said "I really wouldn't ask." He turned his gaze back to the road and started the car.

God I hated him!

* * *

God I loved him.

As the bonfire went on the guilt and sadness form our fight began to hit me on full course, everyone was packing up and ready to leave. It was a lot of fun, Paul was completely normal with me and I was welcomed back…like someone who belonged. Leah and Seth had attended the meeting too so I had a chance to catch up with her. She wasn't doing well; there was something off about her more than usual and it worried me. She was already hurt enough after what had happened with Sam and her cousin Emily.

"So you gunna come to see me soon bitch?" She said pulling me into a hug and I chuckled and then sighed.

"I'll do my best Lea." I promised a knowing look which startled me a little bit flashed across her features. She opened her mouth to say something but then I was airborne spinning around by non-other than Seth Clearwater.

He placed me on my feet with his usual bug grin, god that kid made everyone smile.

"See you soon!" He cheered and then ran off, I laughed a little as Jake came carrying my sister holding her closer than necessary.

"Dude, that's my sister." I told him shaking my head; he rolled his eyes and led me to his car. We drove down the road with not lot of conversation. Silence was comfortable with Jake.

Bella woke up a little surprise to be at the border, she eventually stumbled he way across the treaty line and into the arms of Edward, she passed out on the way back and I sighed and tilted my head towards Edward.

"Is he mad?" I asked and Edward's features softened and he shook his head.

"No. He feels just as bad as you actually, worse in fact. You have to understand that Jasper's background and the beginning of his life has made his mind think differently to other's. He defines everything into categories. You are the most important thing to him _ever_, so everything is categorized into threats and non-threats. Werewolves are a threat whether you and Bella realize it or not. I can accept it because I know how stubborn Bella is and I have more…social skills than Jazz being a mind reader. Jasper is impulsive especially with his gift. He thinks like a major but he is very instinctual. He adores you, it's just his way but the answer to your question is no. He's not mad at you." Edward finished, I had listened to everything he had said. Derek and Jasper were a lot closer than Edward and Jazz and so were Em and Jazz but I could see that Edward cared for Jasper a lot. Relief poured through me at the end of his speech.

I really hope he was right, even if Jazz had been acting like a d-bag.

Edward dropped us off and Bella stumbled up the path in front of me opening the door, we got past Charlie easily due to Jake ringing him- I opened the door to my bedroom and stopped moving when I saw Jazz sitting on the bed with an unreadable expression. I closed the door behind me and walked forward; He met me halfway and pulled me against him tightly. I wrapped my arms around his waist and snuggled into his cold and hard chest.

We remained like that for a few minutes before he broke the silence.

"I'm sorry I lost ma' temper pretty girl. I just…I can't lose ya'." His voice was barley louder than a whisper, I didn't dare look at his face. His expression would break me.

"I'm sorry too." I mumbled into his shirt, he rubbed my back and bent down to press a kiss to my forehead.

"I love ya' Sweetheart. More than the stars." He promised.

"More than the stars." I agreed and tilted my head to kiss his perfect lips; he pulled my hips closer against him as I fisted my hands in his shirt and leaned up on my lip toes so I could kiss him better. My hand traveled up his shirt and his smooth skin to tangle in his hair, the other pulling open the buttons at his shirt. I realized that I had reached Jasper's limit when he pulled his lips from mine, I was surprised to say the least when he discarded the shirt and then pressed his lips back against mine.

Surprised.

Yes.

Complying.

Hell no.

I dragged my nails down his chest, I heard a moan but I didn't know who it came from as he backed me into a wall. It took me a second to realize there was a slight humming sound coming from Jazz. Was he purring?

I smirked against his lips, his hands traveled down my body to my thighs and he guided my legs around his waist, I clinged onto his shoulders as he pressed light kissed down my neck and jaw. There wasn't much to this shirt anyway, I heard a faint ripping. The material of my shirt hit the floor. His hands roamed my body; he was still purring making me giggle a little. I traced my lips around one of his battle scars on his shoulder making him shudder- He grinned against my lips kissing me more deeply. Jasper froze suddenly pulling his lips from mine and groaned. I was breathless so I had to wait a few seconds to be able to find my voice.

" 'pparently I forgot ma' brother's presence." He grinned like he was caught stealing the last cookie, he also looked proud too and slightly smug. He tapped my nose lightly as he lowered me to my feet. "Ya' distracted me."

"Takes two to tango." I reminded him still a little breathless, he beamed at me showing a full set of white and straight and of course incredibly dangerous teeth.

"I'll keep tha' in ma' mind." He told me and I laughed a little, looking down at my shredded top pouting.

"You ruined it." I accused, he was wearing a smug smile looking down at it. His honey hair fell into his eyes.

"I know, I got'a lil' carried away. I apologize ma'am." Jazz told me as sincerely as he would have if he was being serious but the mischievous gleam in his eye giving him away.

His smile slipped away and he moved closer to me his eyes scanning me, his lips pressing together with worry.

"I dint hurt ya' did I?" He asked sounding afraid of the fact and I smiled lightly at my vampire.

"No, of course not." I kissed his lips lightly and walked over to my dresser and pulled out some sleep stuff- some cotton shorts and a tank top. When I turned Jazz was propped up on his side of the bed- yes he had a side of the bed. Unfortunately he had pulled his shirt back on- he caught my expression and grinned. I walked to the bathroom muttering under my breath.

"Stupid, sparkly southern vampire." I heard him chuckle deeply as I closed the door shut. God that man would be the death of me.

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**Wow, a fight scene and a bit off fluff in one scene?! I know right…I'm awesome ;) Hehe, so is there in particular you want me to add more of, less of? I genuinely don't know how many chapter's will be in this story but defo a fair few more than Untamed, My guess is around 35/40 but I don't know, I'm planning on writing a few chapters for after breaking dawn for my idea for this story to work. Remember guys this is a T so I apologize that there won't be any lemons but I will do scenes like the one above. **

**Love you guys and please review!**


	21. The greatest thing you'll learn

**Thank you so much for all your endless support!**

**Quick question for all of you, when reading some of the old fan fiction stories, they mention awards and competitions and such. I was wondering if any of that was still going on? **

**Like they set up a Forum and decide out of all the stories nominated who should get the reward? Anyway if anyone knows how any of that stuff works or even if any of it is going on please P.M me or leave it in a review!**

**Please review and let me know how you like the chapter! **

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**Here's to the kids. The kids who would rather spend their night with a bottle of coke and Patrick or Sonny playing on their headphones than go to some vomit-stained high school party. Here's to the kids whose 11:11 wish was wasted on one person who will never be there for them. Here's to the kids, whose idea of a good night is sitting on the hood of a car, watching the stars. Here's to the kids who were never too good at life, but still were wicked cool. Here's to the kids who listened to fall out Boy and Hawthorne Heights before they were on MTV and blame MTV for ruining their life. Here's to the kids who care more about the music than the haircuts. Here's to the kids who have crushes on a stupid lush. here's to the kids who hum "a little less 16 candles, a little more touch me" when they're stuck home, dateless, on a Saturday night. Here's to the kids who have ever had a broken heart from someone who didn't even know they existed. Here's to the kids who have read The Perks of Being a Wallflower and didn't feel so alone after doing so. Here's to the kids who spend their days in photo booths with their best friends. Here's to the kids who are straight up smartasses and just don't care. Here's to the kids who speak their mind. Here's to the kids who consider scream their lullaby for going to sleep. Here's to the kids who second guess themselves on everything they do. Here's to the kids who will never have 100 percent confidence in anything they do, and to the kids that are okay with that. Here's to the kids. This one's not for the kids who always get what they want, but for the ones who never had it at all. It's not for the ones who never get caught, but for the ones who always try and fail. This one's for the kids who didn't make it, we were the kids who never made it. The overcast girls and the underdog boys. Not for the kids who had all their joys. This one's for the kids who never faked it. We're the kids who didn't make it. they say "breaking hearts is what we do best," and "we'll make your heart be ripped out of your chest." the only heart that I broke was mine, when I got my hopes up too high. We were the kids who didn't make it. We are the kids who never made it. — Pete Wentz  
****  
I decided, very early on, just to accept life unconditionally;  
I never expected it to do anything special for me, yet I seemed  
to accomplish far more than I had ever hoped. Most of the time  
it just happened to me without me ever seeking it.**

**I really wonder why people suddenly change after they get what they wanted. One day they're sweet, the next day, they're not. One day they're here, the next day they're not. One day you're important to them, the next day you're worthless. One day they love you, the next day they don't care about you. That's how ironic people and things can be. Pretty shits, pretty lies, pretty fucked up. But it's still your choice. Because you choose to get hurt when you choose to be in love.**

**Maybe our old wounds teach us something. They remind us where we've been and what we've overcome. They teach us lessons about what to avoid in the future. That's what we like to think. But that's not always the way it is. Sometimes there are things we just have to learn over again.**

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_**"The greatest thing you'll learn is to love and be loved in return."**_

I curled up in front of the couch by Jasper's legs wrapping my arms around my legs as the news played. Carlisle was sat next to Esme staring as intently at the screen as Jazz except Jasper didn't look concerned as the other two did but calculating- I could see he was wearing his major face hence why I was sat on the floor not distracting him, I turned from the T.V to see Emmett was in the Kitchen doing god knows what- Alice was sat by the door in front of the stairs leaning her head on Derek's shoulder. The door opened and I turned my head to see Edward and Bella walking through the door.

I leaned my head back against the couch. Jasper's legs were parted and were pressed against the edges of my body offering the comfort he could. His large, cool hand drifted lightly through my hair and I closed my eyes- he didn't even seem to realize he was doing it as he was staring at the T.V but he played absentmindedly with it as Bella and her boyfriend walked in and had some casual banter with Em who of course wasn't bothered about the situation in Seattle really. Nothing ever bothered Em which was why he was prefect for Rosalie. He was fire to her ice.

"Did you see they're considering a serial killer?" Edward asked Carlisle.

He sighed in return to his son. "They've had two specialists debating that possibility on CNN all morning."

"We can't let this go on." Edward announced and Esme nodded in agreement.

"Let's go now!" Emmett cheered. "I'm dead bored."

"Don't let Rose hear you say-" I began but a hiss from upstairs stopped me and I smirked at him. "Too late."

"She's such a pessimist." He muttered to himself. Edward agreed with Emmett as Rose came down the stairs- she was expressionless as her blonde locks hung around her- I was guessing I looked the same.

"All those innocent human's in Seattle. It's not right to let them die this way." Esme murdered.

"I know." Carlisle sighed.

"Oh." Edward says and turned his attention behind me to Jasper. I tilted my head to look at my vampire. "I didn't think of that- You're right. Well that changes everything."

It seemed I wasn't the only one looking at him in confusion; Bella's curiosity was the only one that wasn't burning with annoyance at the secret conversation. Bell's didn't know a lot of Jasper at all, I didn't tell her anything about his past of course- I wouldn't do that to him.

"What is he rambling on about?" Alice asked towing Derek with her- I felt sorry for Derek every time I saw him the poor guy was being dragged everywhere. It was clear Jazz didn't like the spotlight. He hesitated as he looked around the room reading everyone's faces as everyone had moved in to listen to him and then paused on Bella's.

"Ya' confused." He said to her, his deep voice quite. He seemed to be trying to work something out as he usually was, I angled myself and turned around to face him and crossed my legs.

"We're all confused." Emmett grumbled and I shot him a dirty look making him stick his tongue out at me.

"Ya' have the time to be patient." Jazz told him with an eye roll at his impatient brother. "Bella should understand, she's one of us."

Bella blinked in shock-his words obviously taking her by surprise.

"How much d'ya know about me Bella?" Jazz asked her. Emmett sighed theatrically throwing himself down on the couch to wait for Jazz's thought with exaggerated impatience.

"Not much." She admitted- Jasper's eyes flickered to me holding burning confusion and I smiled lightly.

"Not my story to tell." I told him and he smiled at me brushing a lock of hair from my face and tuned back to Bella. He began to roll my the sleeves of his ivory sweater to reveal his battle scars. Jasper had scars all over his body- well the parts I had seen anyway which was only a fraction of what I wanted to.

"Jasper what happened to you!" Bella gasped as she looked down at her own scar. I saw Rose exit the room and I stood up pressing a kiss lightly to Jasper's cheek and followed her out of the room and let Jasper tell his story.

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Rose was worried about Emmett more than anything else- Rose was actually a lot more caring then people thought but first you had to earn her respect. She was worried he was going to be stupid and take off to Seattle but I reassured her he wouldn't.

"You coming back downstairs?" I asked her as she fixed her hair in the mirror from the doorway and her nose wrinkled in distaste but stood up gracefully to follow me.

"Let's go see Bella!" She cheered in fake excitement making me laugh. We walked downstairs and I saw Bella sat at the end of the couch looking intrigued and smiling a little. Edward was stood next to of course- Rose went immediately to Emmett and I walked over to the couch. Jazz was smiling up at me as I sat in the middle of my sister and boyfriend.

"That's a nice story." Bella thought aloud as Jazz pressed a light kiss to my temple pulling me against him and we all turned to her like she was crazy.

"I mean the happy ending with Lara." She amended and my eyebrows furrowed- what did she mean?

"Lara made the difference." Jasper agreed his fingers lightly grazing my arms. "She made ma' life a lot better. 'Bout time she got 'ere. I waited long enough for ya'." He told me and I nudged him.

"Not my fault you're old." I told him sticking my tongue out; he shook his head laughing at my behavior.

"An army." Alice mused and I blinked. Oh shit…that wasn't good.

"It thought I was interpreting the signs wrong, there is no obvious motive." Jasper explained and wrapped an arm around me as if it comforted him- reassuring me I was still there with him.

I listened for a while, they discussed who. Everyone agreed the Volturi were out of the question but whoever this was they were playing with the whole's In Alice's vision.

Everyone stated at each other. Frozen with stress.

"Then let's go." Emmet almost roared. "What are we waiting for?" I saw Carlisle and Edward exchange a look and a nod and he turned to Japer. I tensed up realising the danger of the situation.

"You will have to teach us how to destroy them." Carlisle said to him with a tight jaw and I felt very sympathetic towards him-no one hated violence more than him, he didn't ever want to destroy anything but he must to save his family and if that's what he had to do, that what he had to do I guess.

"Do ya' think Tanya's family would be willin', with them t'would be almost easy?" Jasper asked Carlisle and he nodded I tightened my grip on Jaspers chest.

"We'll ask." He told his son.

"We must hurry." Jasper said holding out his phone. I had never seen Carlisle so troubled- he paced by the window as he dialled. My mind began flood with images of new-borns charging at the faces I loved- I was brought of my purgatory when Jasper's arms curled around my waist pulling me onto his knee, I tucked my face in his neck hiding like a coward so he didn't see the fear on my face. He could feel it though so he rubbed my back trying to soothe me.

Carlisle seemed very disappointed and Edward began to mutter something to Bella and I looked at Jazz for answers.

"What's wrong?" Emmet asked Edward, before Jazz could.

"It seems that Laurent was more involved with Irina than we thought, they want to trade their help for permission to take down the pack." Edward explained to everyone and Bella gasped.

"No!" She gasped loudly and I rolled my eyes in annoyance- why was she being so over dramatic. I was worried about Jazz and the Cullen's but my worry and fear would make it worse for them so I hid it but Bella…

"Bella, shut up." I told her still buried in Jasper's neck, he brushed my hair back and pressed a kiss to my head.

"Please Edward…" Bella murmured not hearing my comment and Edward reassured her it wouldn't happen.

"We wouldn't agree to that Bella, He had it coming and I still owe the wolves for that…" Edward told Bella in an even voice and she calmed down a little.

Sometimes Bella's saint hood annoyed me, she didn't realise that her panicking made it worse and not better. I concentrated on Jasper rubbing his hands up and down my spine.

"This isn't good." Jasper said worried. "We can win, we have the upper hand but at what cost." I watched as Derek eyes flitted to Alice and back and I stiffened and shot my gaze to Rose and then Jasper.

"Then let's make sure we don't lose." Derek spoke strongly making Bella and I blink. He can talk…? We shared a small smile and burst into laughter thinking the same thing which made everyone join in. I wouldn't think that we could lose-even if we won we'd lose some.

I looked around at the faces of my family and then looked at Jasper.

I couldn't live in a world where he didn't exist.

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**Please leave a review, even something small to show me how you like it :)**

**I mentioned the T Rating last chapter, quite a few people mentioned they were glad there weren't any Lemons so there wont be in this story. However someone did point out that the language was slightly M rated. SO I was thinking about changing the rating to M? What do you guys think, it will only be for the language, Nothing will change about this story! **

**Let me know what you think?**


	22. Burning the ashes

**I updated earlier than planned and do you all want to know why?!**

**BECAUSE WE JUST SURPASSED THE REVIEW COUNT FOR UNTAMED! Amazing ever single damn one of you! Jeesh, I'm hoping to reach 600 reviews by the end of this story, I really hope we can!**

**Quick note, someone asked me what my favourite scary movie is...I don't typically watch many but I'd say "The Orphan.". I'm happy to answer any question you guys ask me ( Unless their creepy). **

**I'm going on holiday next week, so I will post a chapter the day I leave so you guys have something and I will try when i'm abroad to post something too. If you guys recommend a Fanfiction you've read and think I should check it out, whether its yours or someone else's let me know, I'll read it. Either Twilight, Vampire diaries or Harry potter.**

**Please leave a review. **

**Another quick note, After hearing what you all think this story will remain a T rated story :)**

**Vampire diaries quotes in here, can you catch them?**

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**Walking through the halls of high schools is quite similar to walking through a battle field… you are never quite sure what you will find lying around the bend… everyone seems to be thinner, taller, blonder, prettier, and tanner than you… they all seem to be having the time of their lives despite the educational setting… they all seem to have the most friends and the most people to say hello to walking through the halls. Well, life isn't what it seems. Most of those people just surround themselves with others because they are too deathly scared to be alone. They are so scared that they aren't really friends, they just pretend… because without those people they would be nothing. They hurt just like you do. They notice the imperfections in their own faces as well even though your eyes cannot see them. They notice how the girl next to them is taller and thinner… even though you don't. Maybe sometimes it's what you don't see that makes you more alike than you'll ever know.**

'**I love you' means that I accept you for the person that you are, and that I do not wish to change you into someone else. It means that I will love you and stand by you even through the worst of times. It means loving you when you're in a bad mood or too tired to do things I want to do. It means loving you when you're down, not just when you're fun to be with. I love you means that I know your deepest secrets and do not judge you for them, asking in return only that you do not judge me for mine. It means that I care enough to fight for what we have and that I love you enough not to let go. It means thinking of you, dreaming of you, wanting and needing you constantly, hoping you feel the same way for me.**

**I love you because I know you're always there… there to catch me when I fall… there to listen when I need you, there when I feel alone. I love you because you understand me… you know how I feel even when I can't say it… you know I'm not as strong as I say and still you never let me know that I'm not fooling you. I love you because you make me believe, believe that I am not worthless… believe that I can be loved, am loved, and can love others. I love you because you know, you know I feel this way but can't say it and still you wait… letting me take my time to come to terms with the fact that I love you… would give my life up to be with you… and about all… never hurt you… lie to you… or leave you. Now I hope you understand.**

**A girl asked a boy if she was pretty. He said no. Then she asked him he liked her and he said no. She asked him if he wanted to be with her forever. He said no. She then asked him if he would cry if she walked away. He again said no. She had heard too much. She needed to leave. As she walked away, he grabbed her arm and told her to stay. He said "You're not pretty, you're beautiful. I don't like you, I love you. I don't want to be with you forever, I need to be with you forever, and I wouldn't cry if you walked away, I would die.**

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**"_Burning the ashes."_**

Esme pottered around the room humming a tune that I had never heard before while Carlisle was in his study upstairs. Em was watching the game in the chair while Jasper watched it from the end of the couch. My feet in his lap. I was wearing some think black socks- Dude the guy is cold…don't judge. His fingers lightly traced the slightly tanned skin of my bare legs. It was a fairly nice day so I was wearing some plain navy shorts and a grey fitted Cami. I flicked the pages of a fashion magazine I stole from Alice who was god knows where with Derek.

I felt a slight gust of wind, I had learned quickly that, that meant a vampire was in front of me- I guess it heated a little in my observation as I was already waiting for Rose to show me two dresses so I could help her choose what to wear for the graduation party.

She held up two dresses waiting for my verdict. I looked up scanning the dresses and my eyes went back to my magazine, She held the yellow one up to her body while the blue remained in her hand at the other side.

"No yellow. Jaundice. Go for the blue." I told her bluntly and I heard a little huff from her making me look up. I saw Jasper's lips pull up slightly but didn't look up away from the T.V.

"I don't like the blue." She told me looking at them both and my brain sparked.

"What about the black one we got from-." I began and her eyes lit up and then she was gone. I stared at the space where she had been for a few seconds before shrugging it off. Emmett chuckled following after his girlfriend- Esme grabbed a vase from the dining room table and headed upstairs to start mixing things around up there.

I watched Jazz, his stillness used to creep my out but I was so used to it. I pulled my feet off his lap, making him turn his head in curiosity. I dropped the magazine to the floor and moved across the couch so I could straddle his lap. His lips pulled up into a smile as his eyes ghosted across me.

"Can I help ya' Sweetheart?" He teased and I nodded and pressed my lips to his jaw. His hands tightened on my waist as I pressed light butterfly kisses up his jaw and finally touched his lips. My hands travelled up his chest. This kiss wasn't lustful as many were but just…me and him. Loving I guess is the best way to phrase it.

He pulled away from me, his vampire hearing obviously sensing someone coming. He shifted me so my legs were curled up at his side and my head was on his chest. He leaned back slightly touching his back against the pillows of the couch and stroked my hair. My eye lids began to close- god I could lay here forever.

"LARA!" Emmett voice boomed through the road making my eyes snap open. Jasper shook with laughter as he looked at my angry expression. Em bounded across the room dumping himself in the chair as Rosalie ghosted across the room to sit in the chair opposite and picked up the paper. I let my eyes lids fluttered closed, Jaspers soft hands combing through my hair while the other drifted up and down my spine.

Bella walked in the house or better yet stormed through the house with Edward. I zeroed in on the wrist Bella was cradling to her chest. Before I could ask Emmet beat me to it.

"Fall down again Bella?" Emmet asked her with an amused grin. And we all chuckled, I let my fingers graze over Jaspers chest-his muscles still defended over his navy sweater. Damn he was hot.

She glared at him fiercely. "No Emmet I punched a werewolf in the face."

Emmet blinked and looked at me before roaring with laughter which made his chair shake. Both of us were in hysterics and Rose and Jasper was sharing amused looks.

"Jasper is going to win the bet." Rose called and I grinned at her and she laughed like chime bells. I gave Jasper a good lecture after I found out about this bet- they betted between themselves how many times Bella would slip up on her first year- Jasper was betting high. In all truth I didn't give him too much hassle, he just didn't want to be the weak link. I smiled up at him- adoration poured through me and I blinked at the overwhelming feeling. Jazz was giving me a sweet look. I realised he had pushed his emotions onto me.

Awh what a cutie.

Carlisle came down the stairs with a first aid kit smiling a little leading Bella to sit at the table behind the couch. They chatted for a little.

"You'll make a bad ass new born." Emmett chimed in.

"Strong enough to take you on." Bella replied, I rolled my eyes but froze a little when Rose stood up throwing her paper down. I sat up and watched her leave to the balcony. Bella looked at her worried- Em threw her a sympathetic glance.

"Don't worry about it." I told her with a small smile. Jasper kissed my collar bone lightly and sweetly as I gently brushed his curls back.

"Why does she hate me?" Bella asked in a small voice- Edward squeezed her shoulder and I hesitated.

"She doesn't hate you Bella." I told her sadly, she nodded and then rose and followed my best friend outside. I was contemplating following her-for Rose's sake.

"Don't worry s'much. They'll be fine." He told me pressing a light kiss to my lips, Emmett fake gagged and I shot his the middle figure making him gasp.

"Jasper your girlfriend is abusing me." Em complained making Jazz chuckle.

"Im'ma stayin' outta this." He stated and I heard Esme walk into the room laughing lightly.

"Probably for the best." She agreed making us all dissolve into light laughter.

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"Ya 'look beautiful." Jazz told me for the hundredth time as he opened the door for me in the car park for the school I was finally graduating from.

I was graduation finally! This would normally have me more excited except for three reasons.

Bella was set on being turned after graduating- as far as she was concerned I was going to be turned with her too. It wasn't that I didn't _want_ to be a vampire- I just didn't want to be a vampire right now.

I had to decide on whether or not I was willing to give up my scholarship to Chicago Art institute.

I had to wear some ugly ass robe

Believe me today wasn't my best day, I slammed the door of Jasper's blue cameo frowning still. He walked closer to me pressing me against the car door and placing his hands at either side of my body keeping me there. He lowered his head so I had a perfect view of his topaz eyes.

"I love ya' Sweetheart, stop worrin'." He told me and kissed me lightly- I kissed him back believing in his words, even if only for a short time. A throat clearing behind Jazz made up break away. He turned and wrapped his arm around my waist and glared at his for intensive purposes twin sister who was staring at the robe I was currently modelling.

"What is that disgusting thing?" She asked stepping forward to prod it.

"Ha. Ha." I stated nudging her. Rose grinned at me as Em jogged over smirking wrapping an arm around his mate.

"Let's go! If we're lucky Bella will do something funny-fall on her face or something!" He cheered and Jazz and I raised our eyebrows. Rose just rolled her eyes and towed him towards the school. Bella and Edward were already here I noticed as we passed the cruiser as we walked into the school. The hall was crowded with family and friends- I smiled at some as I passed.

"Good luck Darlin'." Jazz murmured in my ear before heading to the back with Em and Rose and I headed to line up with the "S" people. Bella and I shared a look as Jessica began taking in her non-stop J-babble. I was getting a headache just standing there.

"Isabella Swan." Mr Greene called and I saw Jacob and Charlie stand up and cheer, I saw Billy too and I threw him a wink and he shook his head and laughed at my behaviour. Billy was a good guy, he just worried about us. But he came-even knowing the Cullen's would be here so I had a lot of respect for the guy.

"Lara Swan." I walked over to the guy who eyed me up a little too much for a teacher and then walked over to stand with the S people, I heard a loud deep cheer followed by a lighten one along with Billy, Jake and Charlie, I saw Rose and Emmett hooting from the back and I threw them a grin. Jasper was stood also but he wasn't hooting obviously. He just smiled at me proudly and clapped. I think that meant more to me than if he had hooted like Emmett was.

"Congratulations." Mr Greene muttered passing the diploma and I nodded thanks.

That was it.

Everyone cheered and I took my hat off as everyone else did and shook my curls free. Everyone dispersed to their family. I saw Charlie coming this way and suddenly I was airborne and spinning around in a circle and then I was placed on my feet and turned around.

"Well done Lara-kins!" Emmett cheered before Rose dragged him out of the way to hug me.

"I think I just caught Aids from that robe." Rose muttered and I narrowed my eyes at her taking it off and rubbed her with it. She cried out hugging onto Em to escape it making me laugh with her.

"See you at the party." She said and began to lead Em from the hall to help set up the party. I was about to turn to see where Jazz had disappeared off to when his arms circled my waist. I laughed lightly as his face buried in my hair. I turned in his arms and let my eyes scan his face. My smile slid when I saw through his façade. His eyes were filled with worry.

I placed both hands over his face stepping closer wanting to comfort him- the room was crowded. We were pressed together whether we wanted to be or not-no one would be able to hear us over everyone's congratulations.

"What's wrong." I demanded, Jasper's eyes hardened a little and then he crushed me against his chest and stroked my head. For anyone else it would appeared that Jasper was trying to comfort _me_ but I knew that was far from the case.

I was about to demand what was happening but my Dad came and all but ripped me from Jasper's arms- I thought I heard a growl emit from Jazz…I must be wrong. I hugged my dad back slightly awkwardly; he pulled back with a large grin.

"Bells wants to go to the lodge." Dad beamed and I almost bust out laughing, Bella would rather shit in her hands and clap than go there. He didn't give me a chance to answer before he looked up with a smile, it faded and his eyebrows crinkled. I turned to see an empty space where jazz was.

"He er-had to set up the party." I excused, Charlie was a pretty brush it off guy so he just shrugged and led me through the crowd.

I couldn't pay attention to what he said, my mind was reeling with the possibilities and worry of what Jazz the most calm and collected guy suddenly was worried about.

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**I split this chapter into two so the other part will be coming soon! Thankyou all for everything, please leave a review ! :D**


	23. If I were you, I'd have a little faith

**I just back people! So here's an update! I apologise for any mistakes as this chapter isn't beta'd! Thank you all for your support! I still cant believe how successful this story has been!**

**P.S the voting has now frozen! ;)**

**Right now a question! PLEASE LEAVE AN ANSWER IN A REVIEW!**

**Would anyone be interested in reading a Caius/OC! It wont be a soppy story, not that any of my stories are particularly, I don't think anyway. Anyway I don't know when it would be released, I guess soon after the ending of MLIR, but were a good while from that till! Anyway let me know! :D**

**Please leave a review!**

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**For what it's worth: it's never too late or, in my case, too early to be whoever you want to be. There's no time limit, stop whenever you want. You can change or stay the same, there are no rules to this thing. We can make the best or the worst of it. I hope you make the best of it. And I hope you see things that startle you. I hope you feel things you never felt before. I hope you meet people with a different point of view. I hope you live a life you're proud of. If you find that you're not, I hope you have the courage to start all over again.**

**You spend your whole life stuck in the labyrinth, thinking how you'll escape one day, and how awesome it will be, and imagining that future keeps you going, but you never do it. You just use the future to escape the present**

**We can never go back again, that much is certain. The past is still close to us. The things we have tried to forget and put behind us would stir again, and that sense of fear, of furtive unrest, struggling at length to blind unreasoning panic - now mercifully stilled, thank God - might in some manner unforeseen become a living companion as it had before.**

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"_**If I were you, I'd have a little faith."**_

Bella does this run, it's not jogging. It's not running but I like to call it the squat jog, it's what people do when they try to rush to get to the train or something. Anyway Bella squat jogged up the Cullen drive way as I waved to Charlie as he drove back town the windy drive way through the forest. I sighed running a hand through my hair- Only Alice would still find having a party acceptable.

I turned to head down the drive to face the music when I all but collided with a very hard stone wall. At least that's what I thought but strong arms caught me effortlessly crushing me against them. I looked up to meet Jasper's gaze, it was controlled but the look behind his eyes reminded me of the one he had in Phoenix.

Protecting.

I pressed my lips against his lightly, a little taken aback when he crushed his lips against mine. Gripping me against him almost painfully but I didn't care; I think my lips became just as frantic as I grabbed his collar closing any possible gap between us. Not that there was one in the first place. It was me that had to rip my lips from Jaspers; you know…that whole oxygen thing is a pain in the ass.

"Jazz we need to…" I breathed and he nodded taking my hand putting some space between us and forcing a smile.

"Common then Darlin'." He began to lead us up the path silently, opening the door gesturing me to go first making me smile lightly.

Jasper didn't let me go at all, leading the way to speak with Carlisle and Edward- I saw Edward send Jasper a disapproving look as he didn't try to hide his desperation and the fact he didn't like gambling with the stakes so high. I saw Bella eyes fill with determination which was _never_ a good thing. The doorbell rang almost pressing the button to every to be a fake as possible. Alice turned the music up and danced to get the door, The Cullen's spread smiles on their face and scattered. Jasper wrapped his arms around me from behind.

"Ya' look beautiful Sweetheart." He told me sweetly in my ear making me smile lightly leaning against his chest wrapping my arms over his shuddering a little, because well A) Jazz was cold and B) Well…it was Jasper.

The party was a huge hit, the entire senior class and most of the juniors turned up from the look of it.

Everyone mingled easily, I kept with Jasper mostly, Jazz didn't really like crowds. Even despite his overwhelming craving for blood. Rose didn't mingle much either but she stayed by Emmett's side as he grinned at people who ventured near them. Most lightly to watch as they all but shit themselves.

I was a little surprised when Jasper tensed suddenly. Before I even had a chance to ask he let out a small growl.

"Wolves." He said with a disgusted expression, I placed my hands on his smooth face kissing him lightly.

"I'll be back." I told him, he began to protest but I placed my fingers over his lips. "I will be right back Jazz." I told him pecking his lips and turning on my heel heading over to the door where Jacob, Embry and Quil where stood. I was a little surprised to see Alice there too. The three young wolves looked highly...determined. Alice irritated and Bella, well she looked just damn uncomfortable.

"What's going on over here?" I asked coming next to me sister with a cocked eyebrow. Everyone turned to me slightly.

Jacob scowled. "We want to know what's going on." Jake demanded and I shot a questioning look to Bella who sighed.

"Alice had a vision." Bella explained and my eyes widened. Oh…

"Good bye Jacob." I told him finally beginning to pull Jake away, I blinked in shock as his hand came down on the wall next to me blocking our path.

"Tell us what's going on." He demanded again in a growl. Bella let out a startled little shriek as Jasper appeared literally out of nowhere. His expression was quite terrifying. Even I felt a little wary. Jacob pulled his arm back slowly which was probably a good idea if he wanted to keep it. Jasper stood in front of me his face still frightening. I placed a hand on his arm.

"Jazz it's okay. He does have a point." I told him but he didn't relax his position. Quil shot me a look that clearly read "Your boyfriend is scary." Making my lips twitch.

"What did you see Alice?" Bella asked her trying to break the tension.

"The decision is been made. They're coming here." Alice announced making me tense. I felt the heat drain from my face. The wolves watched carefully as Jasper relaxed slightly pulling me against him lightly pressing a kiss to my temple.

"One carried your read shirt." Alice continued, understanding Bella's questioning look. Jasper's face clearly told me he disapproved with discussing this in front of the wolves but spoke anyway. "We can't let em' come tha' far. There ain't enough of us to protect the town." He told Alice.

"I know. It doesn't matter where we stop them- there still won't be enough of us. Some of them will come here to search." Alice told Jasper, her expression afraid and yet determined.

"Then I have to go meet them! Bella's voice came out like a strained shriek. I turned to throw her a glare.

"Bella I am in no mood for your martyr ways right fucking now." I warned her, Jaspers arms tightened against me telling me to calm down before he flooded a wave of security through me.

"What is coming?" Jacob inserted forcefully.

"Our kind. Lots of them. For Bella, that's all we know." Alice told him dryly.

"There too many for you?" He asked making Jasper's southern pride flare a little.

"We have advantages_ dog_. It will be a fair fight." Jasper told him.

"No, it won't be even." Jacob began to grin.

"Excellent." Alice hissed gleefully, they grinned at each other.

They began to discuss their plans but I tuned out. A have flooding my brain, I leaned against Jasper's chest trying not to imagine a world where vampires and Werewolves didn't exist. Just Lara and Jasper. But as always, my wish is no-one's command.

Bella's cry made me snap out of it a little. Embry sent me a small smile as the wolves existed the house. I felt my brain detach from my body slightly making me sway. Jasper held onto me tightly keeping me upright before swinging me u effortlessly into his arms, I laid my head on his shoulders and let my heavy eyelids close.

"Jazz please." I asked for the ninth but he shook his head.

"Ya' ain't comin'. Ya' worn out and if this don't work…" Jasper trailed off. I took a deep breath before releasing my back up plan.

"Paul will take me." I told him, he tensed immediately. His jaw locking at my low blow as he leaned against my desk his knuckles white due to his grip on the edge. I hugged my legs tighter against my body at his cold glare.

"Fine." He hissed standing upright, grabbing my jacket for the chair and throwing it next to me on the bed. I sighed letting my legs fall and sliding on my jacket. I walked up to Jasper who continued to stare out of the window with tight eyed. I wrapped my arms around his waist tightly burying my head in his chest. He didn't wrap his arms around me but he relaxed a little.

"I'm sorry Jazz." I whispered, I heard him sigh before wrapping his arms around me tightly burying his head in my hair.

"S'okay Darlin'." He murmured before lifting my legs around his waist effortlessly and jumping from the window.

* * *

We walked hand in hand across the field, It took a few minutes but I realised it was the baseball clearing we were at last year. We arrived at the family. Derek and Alice were at the far side of everyone, Rosalie came to stand on my other side with a reassuring side. Emmett began taunting Bella making Rose roll her eyes.

"He's so stupid." She muttered to me making me laugh lightly, Jazz pressed a kiss to my temple before going over to speak with Carlisle.

"But you love him." I told her and she smiled lightly shrugging.

"But I love him." She agreed making her bump her hip against mine lightly making me laugh.

"They're here." Edward announced suddenly, our gazes snapped across the clearing but I didn't see anything. Rosalie stepped a few steps to the side to Emmett. Jasper's hands came around my waist from behind me. His gaze straight ahead as I turned my head to see him, his eyes cast to me he smiled lightly bending down to press a kiss to my forehead.

"I love you." I mouthed making his smile widen.

"I love ya' too pretty girl." He whispered lowly in me just as Esme gasped.

"Damn, have you ever seen anything like it?" Emmet gasped at Jasper who looked a little impressed.

Rose looked at Esme wide eyed, Bella and I shared baffled looks.

"What is it?" Bella demanded.

"The pack has doubled." Edward told her. I forgot to mention there were now ten. I saw ten enormous wolves enter the clearing. I recognised a few, Paul, Leah, Sam, Jake and Seth.

"Welcome." Carlisle stepped forward and greeted the wolves. And I felt Jasper's arm tense around me a little as the wolves spread into a long line. Damn they were huge, all of them scanned us over. The gap between us wasn't huge but it was a truce.

"Thank you." Edward spoke for the wolves. "We will observe and listen; we can't ask more of our self-control."

"That is more than enough." Carlisle answered. "My son jasper, has experience in this field and will show us what to do to destroy them, I'm sure you can use this to apply to your own hunting style."

Carlisle stood back to Esme's side and everyone turned expectedly toward Jasper, He kissed my temple before releasing me and stepping forward immediately falling into his major face.

"Carlisle's right." Jasper spoke to everyone. "They fight like children, the two most important things is neva' let 'em get there arms around ya'; they will crush ya' instantly an' second don't go for the obvious kill. That's all they will be prepared for. As long as ya' keep moving they will be too confused to respond. Emmet?" Jasper beckoned him forward and he kissed Roses cheek and jogged forward with a huge grin. I smiled a little at his confidence.

He would make a great father.

The thought made me tense quickly; I was horrified with myself for thinking that. But…I couldn't help it. It ached a little when I thought about it. I was glad Jazz was distracted, I didn't have the heart to say the words. Jasper told me he had always wanted to be a soldier and never thought too much about starting a family but it was something he always thought he would do.

I guess some of us don't get everything but…he was enough.

He would always be enough for me.

Forever.

"Ok, Emmet first. He's the best example of a new-born attack." Jasper told the wolves as he and Emmet stood far apart in the open space.

"I'll try not to break anything." Emmet muttered.

"I have a ten that says Emmet wins." Rose whispered in my ear and I grinned at her.

"You're on." I whisper back and Rose chuckled lightly turning back to watch.

Jasper grinned. "What I mean is 'cause ya' the strongest ya' depend on ya' strength, just go for the easy kill Emmet." Japer instructed.

Jasper backed up a few paces and tensed. "Ok, try and catch me."

I couldn't see Jasper anymore -both were fast but Japer was like a ghost. Every time Emmet got there his big hands were left empty. Beside me I saw Esme and Rose watch the fight intently but I was lost in all honestly and finally Emmet froze.

Suddenly Jasper had him from behind, is teeth and an inch from his throat.

"Fuck sake!" Emmet cussed loudly and I could hold in a laugh which earned me a deadly glare from Emmett. Jasper grinned at me making me laugh a little. I held my hand out to Rose who sighed and placed the note in my hand; I curled it up and shoved it in my pocket. Jasper was smirking at Emmett who was scowling at me as he all but stormed over.

I raised my hands in defence. "You're so sensitive." I muttered, he wrapped his arms around Rosalie who was hiding her smile at Emmett's pouting.

They all took turns, Rose kicked ass. I was shocked at Derek's skills. But he was excellent. Alice was a blur- unable to be caught.

The session ended, we had all come closer as we watched the fights.

Jasper flashed to my side at a frightening speed causing a few of the wolves to tense up.

"We will be doing this again tomorrow. You are welcome to join us." Carlisle asked and Edward translated that Sam said they would be here.

Edward tensed a little. "The pack would think it be a good idea to get out scents, so there is no confusion in the battle."

"Certainly." Carlisle agreed. The wolves came forward, Jasper's grip on me tightened; I rubbed his arm trying to soothe him. Emmett was grinning-completely relaxed of course but that was Emmett.

I stood shocked when Jake or the huge russet version licked Bella. Jasper's face wrinkled in disgust. Even the wolves looked disgusted. Paul came over to us next and I looked at Bella who was laughing.

"Try that and I'll kick your ass." I told him making him bark out a laugh, Jazz was a tense rock behind me. His arms were tight against me. A sort of warning but Paul nudged his large head against my head as sort of a hug and backed away into the line as the wolves began to retreat.

Jasper's arms relaxed as all the wolves but Jake left.

"Jasper." Edward called making Jasper look to me with a questioning look.

"I'm going to go talk to Rose." I told him and he nodded leaving to go talk to his brother, I stayed with Rose and Esme who were talking about what they were going to wear to the battle.

Only Rose.

Jasper came over to me but I saw Jacob staring at Jasper's back in disgust. What was his problem. God Bella knew how to pick em huh?

"Common Sweetheart." Jasper lifted me into his arms, I said bye to everyone before Jasper flitted us off.

I looked up and brushed my fingers across is jaw lightly.

But what I would give to have _both_.

* * *

**Please leave a review! A little teaser for y'all. I take everything you guys say into consideration and let's just say some of you will be very happy with what I have planned but you won't see it coming…let me know if you can guess. Maybe one of you will see it coming after all :D **

**Leave a review please and check out Untamed if you haven't already!**

**Please leave in a review the answer to the question on the top of the page about a new story! :D**

**Sorry about the long note but I have another quick question. If I wrote a fiction novel, a romance one and published it on kindle or something, how many of you would be interested? **

**Thank you for your endless support as always! **


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